We, people, as a species, tend to think that we are so advance, even superior, and we have all figured out. True? At the same time we behave based on how our reptile brain feels is the best, leaving all the reasoning and “reality” aside. I used to think that this is only a “thing” in a certain parts of the world as grass is greener on the other side and people on that side are more rational. Not true!
I travel a lot, i’ve lived in Europe and in North-America and i literally have friends all over the world. We like to think we’re so different, where as one thing we have in common is our (ir)rationality and how we behave. When things are good, when we’re rested, ate quality food and our body is not craving for essential nutrition, we tend to behave at our best. We are rational, we are patient, we listen and we discuss rather than argue.
But when we are tired most of us have THAT dark side - the one where you most likely will over-exercise your middle finger in traffic, where you argue rather than discuss, where your patience is about 0,1ms before you explode.
Think about it; it's much more likely that someone will throw you a 1-finger wave in the evening traffic then in the morning traffic.
Sad part is that we all have that dark demon hidden inside us and name of this beast is EGO!
But why some of us let this demon to run amok as soon as there is slight drawback or difficulty on our way, where others can keep their demon at bay and somehow don’t have extremely muscular middle finger?
Our reptile brain is primitive! We tend to look at the animal kingdom and think to ourselves that some of the animals are silly or straight out stupid based on what they do or how they behave. But keep in mind that part of your brain resonates on the same level (you guessed it! - our reptile brain). Ego is hardcoded into that part of the brain; for survival reasons. Thing is, tho it used to be essential for our survival 100 000 or even 10 000 year ago, it has lost its main value today in our modern society. Now-days it has become more like a nuisance and it’s time to learn how to tame it.
Tame your ego
That’s the main difference between those two groups mentioned in the beginning. One group has learned how to tame your ego, while the other one yet has to figure it out.
As a side-note, i do need to mention, that 10 years ago i used to be that guy who let my ego to run rampant, today i keep it in check and the quality of my life has changed significantly!I used to think that everything that happened around me was personally directed against me and everything had to do with people trying to make me miserable.Sounds silly? Well, this is how your ego interprets things.
One simple question
I’ll give you one simple exercise that really helped me for my rational brain to overtake the power from my reptile brain. To best describe this methodology, let’s create real life situation we all have faced or most most of you probably face sometimes in the next three days: It's evening, you have finished your work, it was an intense day. You are driving home, there's traffic on the road. After moving slowly for some time, there is a “jackass” next to you who tries to squeeze himself in front of you. You ignore. You look the other way, because extra car in front of you means more time till you get out of the traffic. Jackass doesn't give up and makes his next move by putting in his turn signal and penetrates into the small tiny space that you had to leave with the car in front. You honk. You give him your best death stare. You might even show him how beautiful one of your finger is… up high… And you think to yourself that this was extremely dick move and you boil till you finally get out of traffic or even till you go to sleep.
Now, next time this happens, or any other situation, where the beast is about to take over, try not to react right away, rather ask yourself this question: what does this situation really mean? Let your rational mind to jump in and reason for a second. What will happen is that this whole situation will get a whole different meaning. Your rational mind will probably tell you something between the lines: well, this “Jackass” is probably finishing work and going home. He must be as tired as i am and maybe he’s just changing lanes because he needs to take the next turn. To make the turn, he actually was signalling and even politely waited till would give him the space to finish his move. Since i was the dick here he had to become just a little more aggressive as otherwise he would miss the turn or whatever the reason of changing lane was. etc... etc... etc...
See, nothing personal! This “Jackass” didn’t plot against you. It wasn't some sort of a master plan that was carefully planned and executed in precision. This guy (or lady; to be fair) actually couldn't care less about you or making your life hell. He or she probably even didn't notice her wrongdoing as no harm was actually done. It's just your ego that got hurt and with this simple exercise you can tell your ego to take a rest and go back to sleep!
Hope this tip will be helpful and feel free to comment how you keep your reptile brain at bay.
Stay friendly! Stay considerate! Stay curious!