This is me, in the world of Minecraft!
Hello folks, this is Rainbow Man. I'm back but this time with my esoteric Minecraft world known as:
Psychedelphia!
Psychedelphia pop. Infinity Cubed + 1 Dipshit.
That's right! When I'm not ranting running off some verbal diarrhea cussing out someone or something like I usually do (usually a Fukushima denier or a pro-vaxxer but always a statist), in my free time I find myself playing Minecraft. Any adults here on Steemit dumb enough to admit that they play this stupid game? I do! This is seriously one of the greatest games ever to bless our existence in this world. It is cheap and so easily accessible too! I don't need a console just play the shit on my computer. Hook up online and play with people all over the world. You can cuss out little 7 year old brats in Germany. I know because I've done it! It's fun! Fuck those little fuckers! I don't give a fuck!
With all those fucks being said you know that my Minecraft world here is full of adult humor. So discretion is advised. You know me, facetiousness is funny!
So anyways...
Believe it or not this is my very first Minecraft world that I have been building on little by little over the course of the last 5 years. I taught myself how to play the game on this world. Of course 5 years ago I was still living in the shit hole known as Portland, Oregon. I lived in the felony flats side of town that was a stone throws away from a strip club called the Pitiful Princess. That is NOT a joke! So I named the very first village that I came across Portland. So this is Portland, Oregon in the Minecraft world of Psychedelphia! I am using a texture package so these graphics will be slightly different than normal Minecraft graphics. Mainly the villagers, mobs, and roughage.
This is going to be one long but entertaining blog. It took me a few days to put it all together keeping a window open for the entire time adding texts and pics till I was finished. Being 5 years of course you know that I have built A LOT. This is the beauty of Minecraft. It is one of these games you can lost in creating your own little world.
This is the Pitiful Princess.
Seriously, The Pitiful Princess was such a big part of my life back then I had to incorporate it into my Minecraft world HA HA. I couldn't resist! The signs at the top say GENTLEMEN'S CLUB. The sign at the right says LIVE NUDES. Let's take a look inside!
That is a jukebox with discs that play the music the girls dance to and those are the poles they dance around. The black wool is the stage. You have to have an imagination when playing this game. If you have no imagination then you are probably too stupid to be following me.
Still don't believe me?
Here is the overview of Portland. This was as big as I could make the map but you can kind of make out the landmarks. The green arrow next to the Pitiful Princess is my base underneath the city (and I will get to that eventually).
This is the view of Portland from the Tower of Babylon. The Pitiful Princess is the purple and pink building right in the center (like you haven't already figured that out). That green thing that you see at top center up in the sky is in fact a UFO or flying saucer made of slime. The same UFO seen in the Welcome to Portland picture above. It's right next to the other tower across from this pic at the top of that really tall jungle tree in the Redwood Forest across town. Honestly it isn't much of a forest LOL.
This is a view from that tower. You can see the UFO in the top left hand corner and that is in fact the actual Portland Suicide Hotline. Call it and see! I dare you! Are you a tide pod eating snowflake living in Portland? Do MAGA hats got you down? Thinking of jumping?
Call (503) 988-4888.
Remember, it is through the river not over the bridge!
This is the entrance to the Tower of Babylon.
The Doors of Perception is reference to the gate you open leading out to a diving board. That's right! The Tower of Babylon is in fact a high dive! For those who want to have fun jump off the high dive. Those who are suicidal jump over there on the other side in front of the view.
The view. I can see my house from here!
This is the pool you are jumping in. The square area that is lit up is the deep section that you land in when you jump.
This is the pool where you come out at.
Moving right along now...
Of course where would my Minecraft world be without a New World Order Pyramid? After killing the Ender Dragon I placed the dragon egg on top of a floating block of obsidian representing the All-Seeing-Eye. In the beginning this was going to be a water fountain. But it didn't work right and after getting rid of the water I decided to just make it the Pyramid instead HA HA.
Seriously! You can even build New World Order banners!!! This one I placed on the back wall behind Powell's Books.
It takes 4 banners like so to make an All Seeing Eye.
This is Powell's Books. Anyone who has ever been to Portland has been to Powell's. It is only the biggest used bookstore in the entire country. Let's take a look inside...
Alright these are the sections. From left to right: Horror, Philosophy, Theosophy, UFO's and Aliens, Law, Drugs and the CIA, 9/11, and Grimoires upstairs.
These two sections are Sex and Sexuality and Esoterotica.
And the Children's Section is down here.
Up next we have Endo's New World Order Bar. I should of named it Enderman's New World Order Bar but the eyes don't look like Enderman and Endo's just sounds better I think.
This is the bar. They now have greasy bar food! Drinks are reasonably priced I think here. Wells are $3, Drafts $5, Shots $2. Free beer tomorrow of course!
For your entertainment they have a pool table. The sign says, "Endo's, We OWN you!!!" "And absolutley NO gambling."
Next is probably my most innovative design yet. The House of Lava! If you think that is cool, take a look inside!!!
I decked out the walls and ceiling with glass giving the house this cool effect. What do you think? You can actually sleep and live in this house! It is cool as shit I think!
Next are the Food Carts. What would Portland be without its famous food carts? The one on the left is the Voodoo Donuts cart (yes the real Voodoo Donuts has a food cart). The one on the right is the Pumpkin Truck. The Pumpkin Truck has jack-o-lanterns for headlights and of course like Endo's I used Ender Eyes for the headlights of the Voodoo Donuts truck.
Here is an overview of the food carts. I built 4 of them on this side of town in a square like this.
VOODOO DONUTS MENU
Wither Doll $5---------Voodoo Doll $4
ODB $2.50----------------Grape Ape $3
Pentagram $2-----------Bubble Gum $3
Dirt Donut $3------------Cinnamon Roll $2
Miami Vice $3.50
The Pumpkin Truck. Pumpkins $5. Slice $1. We now have Pumpkin Pie!
The Melon Truck made out of watermelons. Pretty cool huh?
Melons $5, Slice $1, Glistening $20.
The Meth Truck. This cart is closed. But secretly a drug cart LOL. Because you all know Portland, it is FULL of Meth!!! Here is an old link to my Meth Truck incident that happened 5 years ago that inspired me to incorporate this joke into my Minecraft world here...
https://steemit.com/video/@hippie-witha-gun/the-meth-truck-comes-to-town-funny-confrontation
And yes that villager is actually the Meth Cook LMAO. Perfect timing for him to be right next to the truck when I took this screenshot HA HA.
Across town you have Tish Pig's Pulled Pork Sandwiches. We now have Mutton!
Pulled Pork Sandwich is $5 (and that is cheap for Portland).
Across from the House of Lava we have Creeper's Ice Cream.
Creeper Cone $2
Spider Cider $2
Wither Stix $1
Popsicle $1
I even have a Lemonade Stand! One that doesn't require a permit either. Free hamster with every purchase too!!! HA HA
I even have a firework stand. And it is open YEAR ROUND! Just got you a brand new Elytra? Need to go flying? Get your rockets here! Buy one get TWO free. And yes, we have Dynamite!!! Freshly looted from the New World Order Pyramid out in the desert.
ALL our food trucks of course are Sovereign Travelers. This is the Portland during the NEW West!!! We don't have no licenses to do anything here! You are free in Minecraft!
This my restaurant. Well, my stupid Minecraft rendition of it anyways. Theo's is on 5th and Couch in downtown Portland around the corner from an awesome barcade called Ground Kontrol. It is an awesome little burger joint. Maybe you've been there? Amazingly enough I've discovered that I in fact have 3 restaurants in 3 different cities. Portland is one of these cities HA HA. So of course I had to incorporate my restauraunt in my city here. In this case it is kind of a food truck I guess. It is right across the street from the Pitiful Princess too!
Theo's Menu:
Theo Burger $8
Boatload of Fries $5
Garden Salad $5
Cookie $1
Moving right along I think this building I made is self explanatory. If you can't figure it out what is by looking at that green cross then you are probably too stupid to be following me.
Psychedelphia Wellness Center (O.M.M.P).
That's right I built a weed dispensary. Let's see what they got!
Goddamn those prices are high! That's because I started building this before Oregon legalized weed completely in 2014.
What is this mysterious white building? Why the gray cross? The sign on the side says, "THIS BUILDING DOES NOT CONCERN YOU!"
Well that's why!
C.I.A.
Cocaine In America
Oregon Medical Cocaine Dispensary
Lets go inside and see what they got!
OOH! I can get an 8-Ball, some crack rocks, loose shit for doing lines, and even some super premium shit straight from George H.W. Bush's Poppy fields in Afghanistan. They even have Poppy Plants to grow your own if you wanted!
The school I built is the Little Dipshit Elementary School. I built it directly across from the New World Order Pyramid LOL.
I'm teaching the class here. Anyone disrupts my lessons I'll cut a bitch!
Next is the Hellarity House Comedy Club. For those who know the game notice I built this building out of Nether rack and Nether brick giving it that "Hell" look.
You enter through the back door when being introduced for your set.
Toking Lounge downstairs. Get you some weed from across the street and then watch a funny show.
Welcome to the Portland Inn, or as I call it, the Sleep & Fuck Motel (bonus points if you know the reference). Nothing really special about it. There is only room at the top. $20 a night :-)
The church of the damned. Exorcisms by Priest Pervert. Because this is a small building I didn't really add much inside. Nothing special just a joke.
There's Priest Pervert! For some reason all my villagers stay on the roofs.
Welcome to the Wither's Swinger's Club. This building took me some time to build. Plus, I had to rebuild this building once due to the great glitch of 2015 that messed up my entire map. What happened was I was dumb enough to play in an old version before Prismarine blocks and Water Temples were added. So all the prismarine blocks disappeared leaving only certain floating objects like the tables and wall paintings and flowers in all the spots where the walls were. Took about as much time to fix as it originally did to build.
Lets go inside...
The front end greats you with beautiful emerald green wall with some cool neon blue, green, and purple brick banners.
The east and west walls have these lounging areas across from the bar that is in the center.
The bar. I'm bartending tonight. So what will it be? A jello shot? A hot dog? How about a jello shot with a hot dog? I know what you need, a FREE HUG!
Wells $3.50----------Jello Shots $1
Shots $3----------Hot Dogs $2
Beer $5----------Fries $2.50
Hugs Free----------Pretzel $3
The Obsidian dance floor and stage. Both sets of lights are strobe lights that flash above the dance floor. One set of lights goes one way, the other set of lights goes the other way. Pretty cool huh? Quite difficult contraption to build.
Upstairs we have another lounging area.
There is even a BDSM room! OMG!!!
The VIP section. This is where all the rich white 1%ers lounge. They can afford gold tables.
This is one sided glass all the sick 1%er fucks like Priest Pervert watch all the action taking place in the BDSM room. That is a whip hung up on the wall on the left there if you can see it.
Up next is the historic Lone Fur Cemetery. It is probably the biggest cemetery in all of Portland. So having fun I made up my own graves.
Sadly I still couldn't get close enough to make the headstones readable. These two say, "Here Lies Theophilus." and "Here Lies Theo's Dignity."
This grave says, "Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams."
The grave with the obsidean headstone and flowers around it I made for an ex girlfriend of mine who died in a freak accident not long after we broke up. That was 8 years ago. The year before I moved to Portland. Her name was Lexi. I didn't find out about her death till after I moved to Portland a year later. So I made this grave for her. See folks, I'm not a complete degenerate!
The Tomb of The Profane Prophet. Many don't know it but The Profane Prophet is my dark side. So I killed him and sealed his ass in this tomb many years ago. This tomb is all I have left to remind me of his existence.
You cant read them but in the back we have two people buried. Here lies Dipshit and Dr. X. Dipshit is dead because he's a dipshit and Dr. X got eaten by zombies.
Ollie Lives!!! You can even have orange tabby cats in Minecraft. He is visiting his brother Fitz. Sadly Fitz died a year and a half ago. Just 5 days before we found all our kittens to be exact. So Ollie wasn't left alone missing Fitz for too long. Still though, he misses Fitz. We all miss Fitz. That's why I made this grave for him in my game.
You can read about Fitz's story here...
https://steemit.com/life/@bridgetmartin/remembering-fitz
Next is my lame ass Minecraft rendition of Ladd's Addition. For those who don't know because they've never been to Portland, Ladd's Addition is the historic 10X10 neighborhood block that was constructed like a giant X in the grid. Of course in real life, Ladd's Addition is full of houses, cars and lots more big trees. I think the Jungle trees look great anyways representing the trees you would normally see strolling through there late in the Spring.
Areal view. As you can see, the Food Carts are right next to us. We are across from the graveyard. I'm sure you can make out the rest of the landmarks. That 2nd bigger purple building you see is NOT another strip club LOL. It is actually the Library. Which was kind of redundant after building Powell's.
Alright let's meet some of the villagers!
First up, The Shickles.
The Timbertoes. (Bonus points if you know the reference)
The Fritzmeier's
Bill & Levi's
The Humble Home of Harry Hamble
Harry Hamble. He's the black smith who works over at Oregon Carbide & Saw. Here he is hanging out on the roof with Priest Pervert.
Side view of the black smith hut I turned into Oregon Carbide Saw and Black Smithery.
Next is the rich white 1%er part of town. I should of just named it Laurelhurst LOL.
Meet the Flintstones, Meet the Flintstones. That is why their house is made out of Bedrock. Pun intended!
The rich mother fucker who lives here is the asshole who owns Wither's. You can tell he has money with this nice ass house.
This is my Dad, Jami's, house. My Dad is now trans so as a woman his favorite colors are purple and pink. He even owns and plays a pink and purple guitar. In fact I think he still owns a Purple Les Paul. Anyways, I built this cool little purple and pink house for him in the rich white part of town.
What makes the guy who owns Wither's even more of an asshole is building that big white monstrosity right next to my Dad's place. So much for the view from his balcony.
The Friendly Family of the Flipping Flampsters.
This is Dipshit's House. Like a dumb ass he built this house into the main road through town here on top of a spring. Fun fact, when I started this world, I actually had to dig out the villager that was trapped inside. So when I started getting creative I couldn't resist calling this house Dipshit's House LOL.
Then there is the Rainbow House. What is so colorful about this house you say? I used every different block of wood to build it with. Each layer is a different piece of wood including the slabs on the roof too. Rainbow wood for a rainbow house HA HA.
House of Sardior. He is my dragon friend. He owns his own enchantment room where he gives fortunes and drum lessons.
See, told you!
Ah yes, my favorite, the Village Psychopath! No it isn't me HA HA.
This is his place. The sign says "Pass the Axe."
Sign says, "KILL BURN MUTILATE DIE DIE DIE!"
This fucker is sick!!! Hey where does the blood trail lead to???
His latest victim! Need a little head? HA HA
Last but not least is MY HOUSE! It's private so NO you don't get to go see inside.
Oh yeah, there is this weird psychedelic house I built. Not sure what I'm going to call it but it looks cool doesn't it? Reminds me of Portland anyways. Maybe more Eugene.
My horse. Hi ho Silver AWAAAAAAAY!!!!
Lorenzo Llama. Caution! He spits.
Meet Uggh! The friendliest Iron man around. Thanks to this texcture package you can see that he has a really big heart. Awww! Uggh has been commended by the Shitty Councel at Shitty Hall.
Welcome to Shitty Hall. est. 1857
Activist Post upstairs...
Issues and Assholes (bonus points if you know the reference).
That's right folks, here in the NEW West in the world of Psychedelphia we have our own made up laws. In this case, Issues and Assholes governs the Shitizens of Portland. Let's read what issues are on the books so far. What kind of crazy Minecraft laws have we come up with???
As time progresses this book will get longer I'm sure.
And now for a building you've all been waiting for, the Red & Black Cafe! Yep, that's the red and black building you've been seeing around this entire time.
Today's special: Dragon Noodles $8! ALL VEGAN!!!
I used red and black wool to build this place with. Alright now let's go inside! :-)
FUCK CORPORATE FASCIST NEW WORLD ORDER NEO NAZI AMERICA!
Notice: Intolerance will NOT be tolerated!!!
Oppose Bigotry: Ban Uggh the Iron Man!
The Anarchist's Cookbook!
![2019-02-10_16.36.51.png]
Monday: Food not Bombs
Tuesday: Fight the Power!!! Protect Dipshit's house!
Wednesday: Tide Pod eating contest.
Thursday: Blowing up Endo's.
Friday: CSE LAB
Saturday: Voices of the People
Sunday: Drum Circle under the Hawthorne bridge
Pages 4 and beyond you are on your own. I might be stupid but I'm not FUCKING STUPID!
How could I forget their garden? Organic Farms est 1885 by the Rose City Anti-Fascists.
How could I forget Mill Ends Park? Portland has the worlds smallest park. This is it! In real life, Mill Ends Park is litterally this big. According to legend Leprechauns live there. You might even see some Keebler Elves too! HA HA
Next is my lame ass rendition of the Pittock Mansion.
That's a lounging chair to relax on at the very top.
WELCOME!
I have a secret grow operation underneath the Mansion. I'm using the new Ultra 360 double powered Indigrow lights infused with Tesla Technology.
From top to bottom: I've got some White Widow, Pineapple Kush Sensi Star, Rip City Sour, OG KUSH OG KUSH, and last some Blue Dream. Oh shit, a few of my plants died. Oh well, sigh.
Instead of the lightrail, I built the Trimet Super Highway Roller Coaster (as mentioned in the Issues and Assholes). This is the entrance and exit. The dragon heads move too. I have them plugged in.
Believe it or not, I spent a week in creative mode building this roller coaster. Timed it takes aprox. 7 and a 1/2 real life minutes to go from Portland to Rainbow Village.
Can't forget my life size chess set!
Finally now we are here at my base underneath the city. WELCOME HOME!
The entrance greets you with these awesome sliding glass doors. Cool huh?
The main hallway. Straight leads you right down into my mine.
My bedroom. Need a little head? HA HA! Hey let's see what I got in my Pot Box...
I've got some Blue Dream, some White Widow, some OG KUSH, and some Rip City Sour. Also my record collection, some mushrooms, a hash brick, and a full sheet of Orange Sunshine. Can you say good times??? :-)
The Rainbow Room. Ollie says hi!
How do I look? Can you see me? HA HA!
My mad alchemist lab where I'm brewing LSD.
The Nether Portal. The Nether Portal leads into my gameroom. Check this out!
I've got a couple pinball machines that actually work. This one is called The Running Man .25 to play. The other one is the Terminator .50 cents to play.
My fees... $2 a game or $6 an hour.
I've got a slot machine that works. Try your luck on Creeper Slots! $1 to play.
PLAY AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!
My Ping Pong Table
Up front by the portal they are playing Donkey Kong on the big screen.
Well that about wraps up this really long Minecraft blog. If you are reading this then that means you got all the way through it. And you know what that means? YOU'RE AWESOME!!! Did you have a good time? I wonder if this is the longest blog on Steemit? I'm sure one of them anyways. Took me 4 days to finally finish posting all this. It sucks the screenshots are so small. I hope I did a good enough job narrating. I didn't cover everything but I covered mostly everything. All the main most funny parts of my world anyways.
Depending on how well this post does will determine if I make any more Minecraft follow ups. I could make a post just as long as this one with the roller coaster and Rainbow Village. As well as the Oregon Trail. Also the Sanitarium, and so much more. I really did leave out a lot! Troutdale, Beaverton, West Linn, and Gresham are still under construction or else I would share screenshots of them.
Thanks for looking and getting through all of this. Hope my Minecraft world gave you a laugh or two. YOU'RE AWESOME!!!
As always I'm Theo AKA Rainbow Man and here is the PROOF!!!
PROOF I live in my own little world. But it's ok they know me here.
Life is good :-)
Stay Un-Tune-Ed
Join the TRUTH Party, The Radical Underground Tyrant Haters Party!!!
Comedy through activism, activism through comedy.
Keep your democracy off of my Sovereignty!
Welcome to the NEW West!!!
