How minimalism changed my life!
When one hears the word minimalism, some think of minimalism art, others think of a musical style or even minimalism design. Some think of sterile white houses with ugly if any furniture. How on earth would such a concept change a person's life you might think?
As a person I've always battled with organisation, no matter how much I tidied my apartment, no matter how much effort I put into cleaning, I would end up with rebound clutter. I was jealous of people who organization appeared so effortlessly. I would often study them and come to weird conclusions that perhaps I need to be more OCD if I wanted to get this right.. can I catch OCD perhaps? Like the flue? I was quite desperate and for years and years I would fight a losing battle. Things only exaggerated when I was climbing the corporate ladder. My boss lady was wonderful, highly intelligent, type A personality and freakishly neat and organised. Due to her being so naturally organised, she could reference things in milliseconds, had a fantastic memory and climbed the corporate ladder very quickly becoming a director before she even hit her 30's. She was remarkable. On the other hand, there was me. Cluttered mind, cluttered environment, horrible hand writing and when the projects and late hours started, I was too tired to clean, so all I wanted to do on weekends was sleep. But I never felt better, I never woke up invigorated. I ate poorly, because quite frankly, how can anyone eat healthy when you just don't have energy to prepare proper food. I also could not really afford healthy food I thought, I disliked vegetables, so there was no hope for me. I would forever be in this well designed self created nightmare with no hope of a brighter future for tomorrow. I remember I would sit for hours watching Obsessive Compulsive cleaners. I thought that the answer to my problem was in becoming obsessive myself. But then I heard that some people spent nearly 4 - 8 hours cleaning daily and I thought who on earth has time for that? This was an impossible standard to achieve, you see, I actually hate cleaning, so for me this was not a solution. Things took a turn for the worst when my health started deteriorating; I was only 38 when I was diagnosed with Stage 3 adrenal fatigue. I could no longer deal with the stress of everyday life and coping in corporate became more and more difficult. I tried eating healthier, but it was short lived and then I would end up binging on chocolates and crisps. I was trapped in this well engineered nightmare that I had created myself. My peers seemed so cool and collective, they got promoted easily, they were razor focussed balancing career and families and some of them had lots and lots of children. I had none of those extra responsibilities, yet I was the one who could not cope anymore. My blood pressure started rising to dangerous levels, when it reached 153/110, I ignored it, thinking it would just go away. Ooooh, rookie mistake. A few months later, it was standing on 175/115. The doctor put me on medication immediately. I was distraught!! The last thing I wanted was to be on medication, I did not want an old person's disease at 39!! Here I was, reaching my forties and I had the triple FFF curse my mother would always talk about, Fat, Forty Female. The medication had a severe adverse reaction, I could not even read or focus on emails, and it felt like I was inside a tumble dryer constantly. They tried various medication, one worse than the other, when finally I had enough. I knew what I had to do. I had to resign. Luckily I had plenty of support; I know a lot of people will never be this lucky. If we had kids, we would have had a very different conversation. I was also blessed that we were diligent enough to buy properties in our younger years which we paid of quite quickly. We never increased our lifestyles no matter how many promotions we got. We pushed in every sent into our properties to pay them off quicker even though we were advised against this multiple times. Due to this, I was able to quit my job and live off my rental income which was not a lot, but I was already accustomed to frugal living so it was not that big of a change for me. I needed a sabbatical year to heal, but I was petrified! What if I never find a job again? How would I explain the break in my CV? But my body would not allow me to continue, I had to follow through to try and rectify the toll that stress had taken upon me. I knew that Adrenal Fatigue could take a couple of years to restore. Well, with the help of a friend, I decided to go on a full time course in something completely radically different than my current career. I worked as a product manager for a Credit Bureau, however, I decided to learn a new set of skills, so I signed up for makeup artistry and special effects. I had no idea what I wanted to do with this, but to me, I was an artist and makeup was just another medium. I had no plans on becoming a makeup artist, but I chose this route so I could have my sabbatical, but not sit at home, at the same time have fun, learn new skills and just focus on my health for now.
6 months into the course, I knew I did not make a mistake. Hitting your forties changes you in ways you cannot describe. It is as if you undergo a complete transformation. You start to think more seriously about your time, energy and how money is spent. Some people go through this transformation earlier, but like I mentioned before, I am a bit of a slow learner. One night, my hubby and I watched a documentary on Netflix called Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things. After this, everything changed for me. The question 'how might your life be better with less' struck a chord with me. Here was 2 young guys who climbed the corporate ladder very early in their lives, who had expensive apartments, cars, was very successful, lots of designer clothes etc..yet, they never felt happy. They were inundated with debt and felt trapped and unhappy with the corporate world. When Joshua started mineralising his 'things', he downsized his apartment, and only kept what had value in his life and things that gave him joy, the concept hit home. When I saw his 'minimalism' apartment, I wasn't exactly what I had pictured as the perfect joyous environment, but I realised that if you have less stuff, you have less cleaning to do and your apartment would look neat and tidy without much effort. I was hooked. I wanted more.. I needed to understand this fully because here was a way for me to become organized without having to develop OCD of cleanliness or having to tidy endlessly. When I went on to YouTube and started investigating this idea, I realised that this was not a new concept, but it opened up a whole new world of people already following the principals and leading happier life with more intent. Again..slow learner..me..yeah.
But where to start? I knew my heart was in. I wanted a part of this action, but I felt overwhelmed, I had no idea where to start. The minimalist documentary mentioned a concept called Project333, the founder Courtney Carver devised a system where a person would have 33 items in your closet in a 3 month season. This 33 items would include items including clothing, accessories, jewelry, outerwear and shoes. You can read about the rules here: https://bemorewithless.com/project-333/ You could donate whatever items you did not want anymore or store your clothes for a next season. The issue I have is that the country I live in, Sunny South Africa, mainly has two seasons, winter and summer, and winters aren't really that cold either. I have no idea where the other seasons went, Autumn and Spring just seemed to disappear so I adapted the system to suit me. I dived right in, I took all my clothes from my closet, dumped it on the floor and then put back only the items that fit my body and gave me joy. Even if I liked specific items but they did not sit right, I would put it on the donate pile. I felt very guilty as I had double the amount of clothes that I initially thought I had. Some clothes still had tags on them, and some clothes had never been worn and others worn only once. Interestingly enough, the minute I passed on the clothes, it seemed like that the guilt feelings went out with it. Only the clothes that gave me joy remained and getting dressed in the mornings had become such a pleasure!! These were clothes that I always wore and always ended up in the laundry basket so all of a sudden, I did have clothes to wear!! I usually complained that I had a closet full of clothes, but nothing to wear. The joy and feelings of freedom that came with this was so amazing and freeing that I immediately wanted to incorporate this into the rest of my house. My hubby on the other hand was not as excited; he was tired from working long hours and lacked motivation, understandably so. I thought that if I could create a calm serene environment for him to come home to, this could help him in so many ways just to relax at least. I regret not taking a before picture of my closet, but this is after the first round. I would eventually pair it down to the bare necessities, but at least it's a start! I still need to downsize and colour code and hang from tallest to smallest and..and..
I cleared out my kitchen, much the same method, only keeping the things that I used, and gave me joy, if appliance could give joy, but it sort of worked.
I find that the best way to achieve the minimalist feeling in a kitchen is to clear the counters. Especially for small kitchens, however not everybody likes the idea. My toaster and ice maker are in the cupboards below where they used to stand. Minimalism is defined by what makes you happy, there are no set of rules to go by.
When I proceeded with the spare room, I found more clothes hidden in spare room closet and I realised I made a rookie mistake. This was when I found The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. This is an absolute gem of a book, a Japanese author, nick named KonMarie providing a Japanese method of decluttering which she also claims you only do once and then you will be able to manage your home without re-bound clutter. I went on to YouTube to learn her folding method, and now folding has become fun! I highly recommend this book if you are not sure where to start. As per the author, "As you reduce your belongings through the process of tidying, you will come to a point where you suddenly know how much is just right for you. You will feel it as clearly as if something has clicked inside your head and said, “Ah! This is just the amount I need to live comfortably. This is all I need to be happy. I don’t need anything more.” The fact that you possess a surplus of things that you can’t bring yourself to discard doesn’t mean you are taking good care of them. In fact, it is quite the opposite. By paring down to the volume that you can properly handle, you revitalize your relationship with your belongings.
I am by no means a minimalist yet. I realise that this is going to take a few months for me to get there; however, I have already found a sense of peace, happiness which I cannot describe. I no longer have anxiety; instead, I find I have more and more time to do the things I truly love. I have taken up art classes, I started reading more (I downloaded the kindle on my phone, do not want to accumulate books when my aim is to get rid of stuff'. In fact, I no longer just blindly purchase anything anymore. I can at a glance see what I need now, but instead of just buying the first best thing, I actually take some time to do research on the item, selecting it carefully and choosing a higher quality item that I know will last me. I no longer buy into consumerism, and I feel a sense of freedom. Wow..and this is only the beginning. I still have a long way to go, but I have hope.. something I never had before..and I'm experiencing happiness, something I forgot what it felt like..and for the first time, the clutter in my head is removed.
I especially recommend this process to people with kids, start with the following: How to Get Clutterfree with Kids with Joshua Becker - YouTube and my favourite NO more toy clutter! Organized Home with Children! Minimalism -
I remember watching a short YouTube video one evening on a Japanese family, where the mom would get home and her second shift would begin with constant cleaning and taking care of the kids. When she had enough, she downsized so intently that she no longer had so much stuff to clean, and she could just sit and relax with her children. Though this might be extreme for some, I could not help to sense a bit of freedom from what life was selling us..the lies!! That you had to buy STUFF to be happy! All lies!!! Hello freedom...here I am.
Let the adventure begin!