The best kind of friendships usually turn out to be the one person you never suspect. At first, you know that you like them. You start hanging out together, texting, Facebook, and even a phone call (/gasp I know unheard of). After a little while you may drift a little bit. Life happens, it gets in the way of many plans. The friendships that hold true are the ones that even when this happens, have been there the whole time. Small words of kindness. Expressions of believing in you and building you up, a silly little meme or sticker just to remind you, you're in their thoughts even though you may not have gotten to spend much time with them in recent months.
Even though when you go through a tragic or rough life event. You learn who your true friends really are. The ones that step up to help you. Have a kind word, a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes to just sit there so you're not alone. Sometimes you don't seem to realize how close that you and this friend have gotten until something like this happens. You start viewing that person differently. A truly great friendship in a lot of ways can be that missing piece you have always felt you have had. Yes, you have your spouse, but women are different, it's like we need 2 relationships, the one with the husband and the one with our best friend. Men sometimes can't understand women. It is hard for a lot of men to listen selflessly and engage in a conversation over what is bothering you. It's life and we have come to accept that is the way life is, so we try to fill that hole if we can. I am very luck that I have.
With my greatest friendship. We both know, neither one of us will lie to each other and we don't keep secrets. We don't sugar coat things. We KNOW honesty is the only way for us. In fact, we don't actually get mad at each other. In fact, I've told her I don't think I can get mad at her. Have I had my feelings hurt?? Yeah, but you know again life happens, we get over it and move on. We both know that we've got each other's back no matter what (even though I really feel like I am slacking on my end since I work overnights. I get home when she's heading to work.)
She doesn't know this, but we had been friends for quite a few years by this point. I didn't really realize the status I held with her until her dad died. I was the one she called. Not all the other people I thought she would call, she called me. I hopped in my car drove down to the ER and just sat with her. I just sat and listened. There isn't anything you can say to something like this. Sorry is such a horrible word in this situation. I had been off work due to my anxiety and depression. I spent every waking moment helping her and her family. I did the dishes, fixed meals if necessary. I took care of the small things so she didn't have to worry. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? I tried like crazy just to get her some alone time, she needed to grieve, but because of her family situation, that didn't really happen. I suggested to her aunt and uncle to take her mom home (back to mom's house) for the night when they came in so my friend could get some rest and hopefully get a little bit of time to grieve. It still hurts in some ways that she didn't get what she truly needed at that time. Due to uncontrollable circumstances she really wasn't allowed to have that time.
Shortly after her dad died. Her aunt that she had not seen nor heard from for around 20 years had contacted them. Her husband had died a few months earlier. The sisters had had a falling out which is why it had been so long since she'd seen or spoke to her. It was one of the happiest days in her life to have her auntie back. The past few years since her dad died, things have been rough. Her aunt was a godsend. Someone that could relate to what she was going through due to her relationship with her mom. Her auntie was so sweet and kind, just like she is. I think she had the wrong sister for a parent. We found out yesterday (12th) that she had passed. We've known for the better part of a year that she had brain cancer and they had made several trips over the past few months to go see her. I felt horrible, that she texted me at 4pm to tell me and I was asleep. I'm always asleep. My job has been a major detriment to my life and my friends and family. I truly only get 1 day to talk to everyone. We had been planning the past few weeks to go see a movie. Between, her having to go see her aunt, a severe sinus infection and I think I completely passed out one day. We haven't gotten to see the movie. Was I bummed, well yeah... I don't get to spend much time with her, but she can't control when her sinuses are going crazy because half the valley decided to burn weeds. No way I could even be irritated by that. So we put off for another weekend and then this happens. I really feel like I should not go to work and just go be with her...it's just there is no one to cover for me. Right now I feel like I failed her.
Back to the better stuff. We've done crazy things. We have capes that look like butterfly wings, we went to the park and walked around with them on. People looking at us like we were nuts. Well we are, but who cares. We HAD fun. Oh...the drunk nights, laughing being silly. Sitting in front of the fire pit during the summer when the temperature cools off a little (the nice thing at living over 4k feet. We get cool nights) Going over and playing the Wii or Yahtzee with her parents. Girls nights, just getting dinner or breakfast. Coloring nights. Painting nights. Movies. Dart leagues. Can't seem to get her to try bowling, but oh well LOL . Or just sit and chat. Lately that is what I have been missing the most.
To me she is one of the most inspiring people I know. She is a true soul. She's loving and caring. A genuinely nice person. Beautiful inside and out, the absolute best sense of humor and overall a zest for life (though she may disagree) She attracts people to her like bees to honey. She's the kind of person, everyone wants to be her friend. I jokingly say, I want to be like her when I grow up (kind of a joke since I am 1 mo older) Oh and the craziest things, her and my husband share birthdays (different years though)
We've been friends now for almost 11 years. Will we be friends when we're older, that's just a silly question of course. The only thing I have made my kids agree to is she goes with me!!
I never thought I would have a friendship like this. I have always been shy and introverted. Being with her and around her I get to be ME. No pretense, no mask...just me. I truly don't know where I would be without her.
