What is it like living with extreme anxiety?

Living with anxiety is really difficult. It can make everyday things, even driving to school or taking a shower, feel impossible. In this article, I will be telling my personal battle with anxiety. Everything I am about to tell you are first hand experiences with my own anxiety, as it is different for everyone. If you do have extreme anxiety, I will also be talking about how to deal with it, if you do not, I will also be explaining how to help someone with it. If you've just come for that, skip down towards the bottom.

Whenever I had my very first bit on anxiety, it was around two years ago. I was heading to the dentist, when I suddenly felt as if the air was being sucked out of my lungs and I was becoming really nervous really quickly. I also felt like I had to throw up, and started constantly dry heaving. As I arrived, I start to shake uncontrollably, and hyperventilating. When they asked me to open my mouth, I couldn't because as soon as I did, I gagged and dry heaved over and over again. After about ten minutes of this repetitive behavior, I sat outside on the verge of tears and left. I didn't know at the time what the hell just happened, and I certainly didn't know what was going to come later. This was just the beginning.

When my anxiety fully kicked in, I felt physically disabled. Everyday things became very difficult, and most days I broke down crying. My daily routine would consist of waking up, taking a shower, go to school, come home, and then go to bed. Seems pretty usual right? Negative, I would usually dry heave at least twice in the shower and I'd regularly make myself throw up in the school bathrooms. I would dread going to sleep the night before because I knew as soon as I got out of bed, my anxiety pretty much ran me. I was on auto-pilot, I wasn't in control of my own life, or even my own body anymore.

The worst anxiety attack I've ever had was when I had to go and get a ultrasound, to check if I had anything wrong with my stomach, as I was having extreme stomach pain. I remember not being able to even get out of my car, and having my mother practically pull me out. My mind was racing so fast I couldn't focus on a single thought, I was looking everywhere and felt as if I'd had 360 degree vision because of how fast I was turning my head and looking at everything. I could barely walk because my legs and hands were shaking so bad. I started to dry heave so bad my throat hurt. I had to hold onto poles just so I wouldn't fall. All this, over an ultrasound. The worst part about it, this wasn't uncommon. I got anxiety attacks like this going to the dentist, any sort of doctor, school, extra curricular activities, and much more.

After a while, and some Therapy, my anxiety started to calm down. It was still there 24/7, but it wasn't as bad. I did start to experience moderate paranoia, and frequently overthought everything, as I still do. The paranoia was not as bad as the anxiety, but it wasn't easy either. Everywhere I go, I still look and watch everyone. Whenever I'm in the grocery store, I watch everyone and their hands, waiting for someone to do something to hurt me. I used to think people where after me, even when I didn't do anything wrong. I would get extremely nervous and anxious whenever I saw police, even though I didn't do anything illegal. I still deal with all this in some ways, not nearly as bad as before, but I still do. So how does someone help? How do you help yourself?

What to do when you have extreme anxiety

1. Slow your breathing
2. Breathe in
3. Slowly tighten a muscle in your body
4. Breathe out
5. Repeat steps 1-4 until you've done your entire body
6. Consider getting some Gaba supplements from your local grocery store

This method does take a couple times to fully work, keep trying, don't give up

How to help someone with anxiety

If someone you know is having a anxiety attack, take them to a safe familiar place. Do not try to tell them they have no reason to be anxious, this will most likely just piss them off and make them want to show their foot in your ass. Rather, be more relaxing, and comforting, express how you are there for them. Make them feel comfortable. Remind them of the steps above, and try to have them do them. Every anxiety attack is different for different people, try to understand what they're anxious about and step into their shoes.