I used to trouser trump upwards of 40, maybe 50 times a day. My poor long suffering mother would say to me, she'd say "Nood! Stop baking brownies you filthy little parper! If hear any more arse acoustics out of you, you'll be out on your ear!"
So I held it in.. until one fateful day, I was bending over to pick up a cabbage I'd mislaid, when suddenly.. PPPPPRRRRRTTTTWWWWEEEEEEEETTTT
"What was that?" she snapped
"Nothing!" I hastily lied
"Not a bumsen burner?", she challenged, glaring angrily
"No!"
"Not a bung blast?"
"Absolutely not!"
"No heiny hiccups?"
"Madam, I assure you, my arsal reigion is firmly shuttered"
Then the smell hit her, and she beat me unconscious with a fish.
But then I found steemit and became a billionaire and it saved my life
#steemit #inspirational #itcanhappentoyou #dontletyourdreamsbedreams #farting #miracle