Hello,here is my story-comment:

The most suspicious mountain menu I ever survived

After a long walk up the hill, my wife and I reached that level of hunger where you stop being a human and become a food-hunting animal.

There was only one restaurant within 5 km. No options. No escape. Just destiny.

We sat down. I opened the menu.

And my eyes went wide.

This wasn’t a menu… this was a psychological test.

First thing they brought was the soup.
“Grandma’s Secret Soup.”

Alright, sounds safe. Classic. Comfort food. No risk.

Then I looked closer.

The “secret” turned out to be tomato soup… with some weird floating leaves that looked like oregano — which I absolutely don’t like — and random peppercorns casually swimming around like they pay rent there.

I realized that secret means: “you’re not supposed to ask questions.”

Then came the main course options.

And that’s when things escalated quickly.
I saw something called:

“Maiden’s Joy Sausage.”

Now… I didn’t know if I should order it or apologize to it.

Curiosity won.

When they brought it… I understood the name.

Long. Slightly spicy. Suspiciously confident on the plate.

I just nodded like, “okay… I see what’s going on here.”

But the real surprise?

“Maiden’s Tears Meatballs.”
I tried them.

Big mistake.

So spicy, full of onions… I started crying immediately. Not emotional crying — survival crying.

At one point I wasn’t even eating anymore, I was negotiating with the plate.

Meanwhile my wife played it safe… or so she thought.

She ordered something called:

“Đorđe’s Stuffed Schnitzel.”
Or maybe it was a typo. Maybe it wasn’t.

Because on the menu there was also something like “Fish-Đorđe” version… which made even less sense.

Anyway, it turned out to be stuffed, rolled, fried meat… with fish involved somehow. Vegetarian logic left the chat.

At this point I needed something to reset my entire existence.

So I ordered a Lav beer.

And I swear, as I was opening it, I expected to hear a lion roar somewhere in the distance.

Luckily… no lion. Just trauma and silence.
In the end, we were full.

Not just from the food — but from the whole experience.

The restaurant clearly had a very… specific sense of humor.

But hey… at least the walk on the mountain stayed a beautiful memory.

The menu?

That’s a story I’ll never forget.