I can very much relate to this post. Greater self-care and self-compassion has been an important focus for me in 2016 after trying so hard and so unsuccessfully to persuade other people to give me the love that I was unwilling to create for myself. Now that I am caring more effectively for myself and my needs, I don't need to have any hidden agendas with others.

I would highly recommend checking out Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. (http://self-compassion.org/) This site has several free exercises and guided meditations, although I highly recommend the book also. Good luck on your journey to greater love for yourself!