I was having a conversation with someone I know and we talked about his family responsibilities. He was finding it difficult to establish himself (running a business, becoming an entrepreneur, starting a family e.t.c)because he couldn't save money despite working so hard and earning good money.
Most times when people (A man) is/are not financially accountable what comes to mind is either alcohol and women, but this wasn't this guy. He hardly spends 10% of what he earns, and over 90% actually goes to the upkeep of his parents and his siblings.
This wasn't actually a bad thing, but he doesn't earn enough to actually spend less while simultaneously building his life.
Age, responsibilities & time
As a young person in his early 30s, he actually earns decently well working multiple jobs. He started working multiple jobs 11 years ago, and still hasn't been able to save enough to own his own business.
For the past four years now, I've been telling him to pause, realign himself and make newer plans. I've told him bluntly that he's probably going to die broke, without a savings, no wife or kid, and that's if he's lucky enough to grow into old age without having a illness that would make him spend a lot of money.
While I'm not financially better, I'm still not as worse. I try to manage family requirements quite well, but I know when to draw line. In reality money needs discipline before it can multiply.
Just like we cannot plant tomatoes today and expect to harvest them tomorrow, we also cannot spend money that's not germinated fruits or compounded, when we do, we will only displace funds or capital that should be meant for multiplication through various business ventures.
This is why 90% of the time, you cannot be rich working for another person except you're not family inclined or oriented.
Lack and want makes it difficult to be financial responsible, but this is why we need discipline. While we can be financially prudent our mothers, father, cousin, sister, brother or aunt might not be, and this again will drag us down the mud.
The aim or goal might be to be financially free, but if your familial obligations eats over 50% of your take home (income) then that goal will not materialise.
Discipline
Again, this is where we need discipline. It's not like it's also very easy, let no one gaslight you. For example Imagine trying to save up for a business but siblings keeps asking for money for their education, upkeep and many others.
You hear them cry on the phone, and you're moved to compassion. It's even worse since the asking is always; chronic and never ends, but you know you'll never be financially free enough to truly help them they way they want if you don't actually make more money.
For the greater good
This where the idea of "for the greater good" comes in. Sacrifice hurts, but it's the only way. You cannot fry eggs without breaking the shell. If you cannot starve the present, you cannot feed the future.
While the present must be fed for it to make it to the future we also have to understand that we cannot overfeed the present.
Life doesn't give you comfortable choices but you have to choose the least comfortable choices and begin to manage the downsides that comes with it.
This is why I'm taking it upon myself to help this person understand the importance of the discipline they need and the consequences if they keep on going like this.