Hi Friends,
As a society, I think we tend to recognize certain addictions as a “problem”, but brush other’s under the rug. A few of the more recognized addictions have programs in place to help people recover and rehabilitate. Tell someone you have a spending problem though… and they are likely to waive it off saying we all like to spend too much sometimes.
Yes, Overspending can be an Addiction… A Really Harmful One
Even identifying if you have a spending problem can be difficult, because there are always reasons and justifications for each purchase. Not to mention, we live in such a consumerist society – that it’s easy to look around and think, “I’m not doing anything worse than others”.
This kind of reasoning can keep us in a cocoon of security, feeling like everything is normal and okay.
How Did I Turn Things Around?
In this page of credit card debt being normal, it can be easy to spend above our means and not think twice about it. I used to tap into a lot of these reasoning’s, and although I never got into credit card debt – I was definitely spending more than I needed to on a regular basis. Thoughts like, “I work hard… I deserve this” or “I really need this because of X” used to bounce through my head.
It wasn’t until I started down a road of becoming financially independent that I really took a hard look at my expenses. I thought I was “pretty good” about not eating out, or spending too much on clothes. I was pretty shocked to see those totals at the end of the month once I started paying attention though.
I think having a reason or a driving force to change can be so beneficial. It was a lot easier for me to skip eating out, or stop buying expensive clothes, or get a cheaper car because my end goal was worth so much more than any of those things.
I don’t think I was ever to the point of feeling addicted to spending, but I do struggle with self-control and addictive tendencies, so I can empathize with those who are struggling in this area.
How do you know if you have a problem? It is so different for each person. For me, when I’m not sure if I’m struggling with an addiction to something, I’ll cut it out of my life and see how I do. This is usually a pretty good indicator for me on the scale of where I’m at.
Helping a Friend Who Has a Spending Problem
Part of why this is so top of mind for lately is because I have a friend with a bad spending habit – and I struggle with how to help her. She complains about not being able to save enough, but I see her get boxes and boxes of new (expensive) items regularly. The few times we have talked about money – she mentions that she needs to spend less and she doesn’t really know where the money goes. We start to talk about it, but she doesn’t seem interested enough to really change her habits.
Is it my place to say anything? Probably not – but I just know if she continues down this road, she could wake up 10 years from now and still be in the same low paying job, still just trying to make it by. She is so smart and talented, I know she has so much more potential than that!
If any of you have thoughts on how to approach this “tough love” conversation – let me know in the comments below. I’d really love to hear your thoughts. We have another mutual friend that has the same concerns about her. Would it be smart for both of us to chat with her together? If she didn’t seem unhappy with herself and her level of spending, I wouldn’t even be bringing it up. I say something because I honestly think she wants to change and doesn’t know how.
What is Your Experience With Spending Addictions?
Have you struggled with overspending in the past? If so, how did you move past it… or is it something you still work through? I look forward to hearing your thoughts on helping a friend who is struggling with this too.
Thank you so much for reading and I look forward to hearing your thoughts in the comments!
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