Day 15 out my 18-day medical trial is about to be over, and I feel more than ready to go home. It has not been a hardship to be fair though. Things did slow down after the few first busy days, and my body got used to the fasting. But there is truly more to life than a hospital bed, television, and rubbish decaf coffee. But I guess we all knew that :)
Now I feel like I can slowly transition into normal life again! Yesterday was the last day of dosing and I have only a couple of blood samples and vitals left to go. Fasting from midnight to 3:00 pm is also at an end, and today I had breakfast in the morning instead of before bedtime. Meal times will more or less be up to me, as I do not have to eat precisely 4 hours after dosing. I am getting a bit more agency in my life in here and it feels great.
It is amazing how tiny little details in my environment all of sudden got hugely important to me. When confined to a small room with strangers all around, and forced to endure the hustle and bustle of a hospital environment, you really appreciate the small wins. I have for example been very pleased with my bed and its position in the room. Let me explain that. First of all, it did not squeak as badly as some of the other beds when moving around in it. And it had automatic controls to raise and lower both headrest and legs. Very luxurious. My bed was placed so that I had a good view out the windows on the other wall, and no glare (in my computer screen) from windows from the back. And compared to most other beds it did not face the open door to the hallway or the toilet - which both would be lit up during the night.
So you see, small details can suddenly be big wins.
My bed with all my little knick knacks to make my stay comfy and make it feel a bit like home.
It has been interesting to be in here. You get to know yourself better both mentally and physically. Physically I have learned that if properly hydrated I really do need to pee every 2-3 hours. I have google doctored my self based on the numbers from my blood biochemistry(you have access to a lot of your medical tests), and found that I am not close to be pre-diabetic, and that my kidneys are functioning well. On the other hand, I have been faced with a not so great resting heart beat. With an average in the low eighties, I suddenly feel inspired to go running as soon as I get out of here.
On the mental side, I have once and for all confirmed for everybody that I am a true "cave dweller", an alley cat very content in my own little world. People were a bit afraid that I would go stir crazy in here with not much to do other than reading, watching tv and work on my own little projects. But I think I could happily carry on with these activities, as long as I get back to my own cave again. I really miss my own surroundings.
And of course, I miss my partner. We have a history of being apart for long stretches at the beginning of our relationship - we did the long distance for about a year. And we are pretty good at it! So there is something nostalgic about only being able to message and talk on the phone again. I think it will just rekindle some of those good feelings.
You are not allowed visitors during your stay, but that did not stop my wonderful man, and two nights ago I was in for a surprise. He showed up at the reception, with a valentines card and self-made origami flowers! He is such a thoughtful creature, and it was so great to look at his face again, feel his hugs and smell his skin :) And even though it was an awkwardly supervised and short visit, it only made me miss him so much more. Romance at the clinic, who knew.
I had to stop myself there from making this post turn into a celebration of my better half. I guess I am really ready to go home now. See you on the other side!
My origami flowers, with the words "hang in there" and "not long to o now". Isn't my man the sweetest!?