Mothers (most) have a tendency to continue ‘mothering’ even when you are married. For her you continue to be the little boy she’s diligently brought up and you are likely to reciprocate the love and care. The problem is that too much of this and less of the same towards your wife may rouse envy, which is often the start of problems. The rest depends on your action and their personalities
Loving Both Necessary But Never Enough
While it may seem an easy thing to do to fix the problem by just loving both of them equally, it’s not that easy. The problem here is that your wife wants to be sure she’s the number one but either knowingly or otherwise your mum is making her feel inferior by constantly showing her that she is yet to be worthy of you. Besides loving both of them equally, you will need to do a lot more.
Communication Between Wife and Mother
Depending on the personality of both your wife and mother, they could either openly solve their issues but among themselves or let you in as a third party. If they’re both averagely exposed they are likely going to do this among themselves. Engage them to check if everything is ok and if not offer to mediate. There is nowhere else you’ll need as much wisdom. Always keep an open mind
Frequently Give Mommy a Surprise Visit
If you are the type who would rather built an empire on a no-go island then this is not for you. It is important to pay mother a couple of visits, once or twice a year, and of course with your wife. The day she shows up at your house unannounced that is your cue she feels excluded from your life. The blame is on your wife of course. Why the h* is this b*ch keeping my son all for herself?
Delicately Ask Your Wife to Compromise
This is actually very delicate because the first question is “why me?” why do I have to be the one to always compromise? This is it. Being the older one of all of you, mother deserves a little more respect. Unless she is overdoing whatever it is that is the bone of contention or overstepping, she needs a little more respect and you will both need to show some courtesy but that is just it. Again this goes back to proper communication. Do not lecture her about this. Just make her understand.