Sometimes ago, I was very frank with a friend. The truth is that she is very brilliant but I can’t seems to see the result of whatever she is doing, she gives excuses more than expected, she want perfect set to play the game and ruined the little resources she have trying to create good impression. She never knows how to say no, very friendly and overdo it.
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Since she looks forward to me as a mentor, I have to be frank with her. I said “what if what you believe in is a lie. Don’t let excuses get the very best of you.” Fortunately, she received it positively. From her expression, she realised the problem and I added “what if you change your negative ‘what if’ to positive ones.” I mean for example;
What if people laugh at me? - Negative
What if they laugh at me, which last for few minutes, hours or days, but what if that attempt that makes you look stupid >brings about great achievement? - Positive
Inferiority Complex
Many are being held back from great achievement as a result of feeling inferior. Judging themselves; I am not too good to do that, they may think I am desperate, they will know I am lacking etc. I have same experience in my early days in high school that affected me throughout till I passed out and almost passed through the same dilemma in university before I realised that, the people I am feeling inferior to knew less than I do, have less than I do and funny enough they are also feeling inferior to me. I never realised these in my days in high school, as a result I became a victim of inferiority complex. Today, when I meet majority of those boys and girls I am feeling inferior to back then, I realised a lot of gap between us, so unfortunate.
They are not better than you! The truth is that we all have our strong and weak points. Find which area you can do better, develop it and use it to shine.
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Excuses
Alibis are top of the causes of people’s weakness and failure. We create and believe in what never existed and will never happen. We list out what we don’t have as the causes of our predicament instead of thinking of how to utilize what we have to achieve our desire.
Whenever I see someone talking about why he has not being this or that, I see someone trying to hide beneath those excuses to cover up for his/her laziness and inferiority complex instead of working to get better.
Gradually entering the failure zone; like success, failure comes to you, inches by inches. The more excuses you have the fast you are getting closer.
Failures
Failure they say is the best teacher, then why is it your own worst enemy. That an attempt failed never means you should not try again. A great achievement is never a result of first attempt, is a correction of failed attempt as a result of modifying the outcome of the failure.
Franklin D. Roosevelt says in his Inaugural Address on March 4, 1933 “Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself.” Yes! If there is anything you should be afraid of, it is the fear of failure that is holding you back. Fear of failure is the one crippling you; the only solution is to face it. Do that thing you are scared about and you will be on your way to win over failure.
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Waiting for the Right Time
While there is need for proper planning before stepping out, if your own definition of achieving great things is to wait till opportunity present itself doing nothing, then, you may have to wait till eternity. I am not disputing looking out for a better time to strike, majority who believe in this ideology hardly see it when it occur. The right time is now. Only by starting will you discover what else needs to be done or improved, never before.
The Instant Gratification Syndrome
Sometimes, you are aware the result will not come on time or easily and think you can’t wait that long, you rather do something else and remain idle till the time elapse and sometimes you want the result now, haven’t try once without reasonable outcome, you decided to call it quit.
Who never experience that, every great achievement takes time. If I expected that when I started this blog, you will not be opportune to be read this.
Conditioning
“The Elephant Rope
As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.
He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”
The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?
Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.” culled from www.livin3.com
I can go on and on to list out what is holding you back, but in most cases those negative inner thought is a lie, don’t believe it. In reverse, I advised you go ahead to do the opposite.