Let’s just dive straight into it so you can get yourself hyped up for about 20 minutes, then go back to procrastinating and reading generic self-help advice which tells you exactly what you want to hear. Ready? All right, let’s go.
STEP 1 : YOU’RE AWESOME
Do you sometimes feel bad? Are people mean to you? Are you scared of taking chances and doing what truly makes you happy, so you often conform to other people’s opinions just to fit in? Aw shucks, that sounds sad.
Don’t be sad. Be happy instead. Happiness is what everyone should achieve in life, while avoiding stressful situations, uncomfortable emotions, and challenging obstacles. Despite what people who actually study the human mind and behavior say, these are not things that strengthen your mindset, develop quality habits, shape your personality, and make you a stronger individual. Some call these people scientists, some call them experts, but their real title is haters.
Because you’re awesome. Everybody is awesome. If you’re alive, you’re awesome.
STEP 2 : YOU’RE GONNA BE SUCCESSFUL
You have an idea for a project? Thinking of writing a book? Starting a business? YouTube channel? Blog? Go for it. I’m sure it’s a unique, never-been-done-before idea. And if you think it might suck, don’t. Your every idea is amazing because, as we’ve learned, you’re awesome and criticism is bad. If you could actually learn something from criticism, it would mean that it is not necessarily bad. And that’s just crazy.
Statistics say that 9/10 startups fail and that almost half of them fail because there was no market need for their product or service. Let’s pull up some statistics of our own. Spoiler alert – they are going to blow your mind:
- Walt Disney was fired because his boss felt he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas”
- Oprah Winfrey was publicly fired from her first television job for getting “too emotionally invested in her stories”
- Steven Spielberg was rejected by the School of Cinematic Arts multiple times
- Thomas Edison’s teachers told him he was “too stupid to learn anything”
- Jay-Z couldn’t get any record label to sign him
All these people later went on to become extremely successful and well-known in their respective fields. They didn’t listen to what other told them and they didn’t let the haters discourage them. They kept pushing until they achieved their dreams.
The only thing that we can learn from these fun facts is that they were just normal, ordinary people – like you. If they could do it, why couldn’t you? If you want it hard enough, you’ll definitely be successful one day (regardless of how much work you actually put in).
Why? Because you’re awesome.
STEP 3 : EASY SOLUTION
The first step is kind of obvious – read articles like this every day. Otherwise, you won’t have the mental strength to achieve what you want. I mean, all those successful people’s vision and dedication are surely not enough to motivate them. Simply wanting it is not enough, you need people like us to tell you that you want it.
So here is a general outline of our life plan:
1.Read motivational articles.
- ?????????
- PROFIT!
Now, people who are actually successful put in thousands of hours working and learning and failing and improving and failing and perfecting and failing and hustling. That’s all good for them, but let’s be honest – do you want us to tell you how to actually achieve something? That it takes years, hard work, sacrifice, and adapting new and foreign ideas?
Fuck no. We all know you’re not looking for actual change. That shit’s hard. You want the easy solutions, the quick methods, the “5 Steps to Gaining Respect” and “3 Ways to Become a Winner”, the “How to Get the Best Boyfriend” and “6 Best Places for Meeting DTF Chicks”.
Ugh…just give me the “2+2=4” version.
If you really did have a winner’s mentality, you’d be reading something with actual substance in it (like this or this or this). You would be working, learning, and improving yourself, not leaving bland comments like “OMG that is so true, I do need to respect myself (because, like, I didn’t know that before reading this)”.
But you still read our unoriginal posts, because we tell you what you want to hear. We tell you that everything about you is great, and if something happens to be a little off-balance, you can fix it in five easy steps. Because if you were actually interested in changing yourself in a meaningful way, you would be smart enough to see through our bullshit.
Because if you were actually awesome, you wouldn’t need me to tell you that.