ourselves at the cross road of wanting to do what we feel we should do and wanting
to do what others think and want us to do.
Many of us struggle daily, making choices between what we are told, how we were
raised, instructions wired into our subconscious and the desire to act outside of this
confinement.
We have been told and we're daily instructed by parents, relatives; friends and loved
ones on how they believe we should live our lives. How delicate and dangerous life is
and the need to play safe and remain good. We are given conditions and
philosophies to live by and told keeping the tradition would guarantee our safety and
security in life, hence, the majority of us think safety, security and identification first
in all we do. We want to be accepted and identified by upholding the tradition of our
ethnic source.
We desperately avoid what they say are risks and dangerous, we don't want to be in harm's way,
physically and socially. We believe it is better for us to conform to the tradition and norms governing our
family, community and society if not we will lose out, be left out and abandoned by kith and keen.
Even if the traditions and norms have kept the family in obscurity, poverty, stagnation and irrelevance, we
follow these same rules because we do not want to be a family and community misfit. We want to think
and behave like our own people in order to belong. The blood and communal ties are so important to us,
we dread being rejected, isolated or excommunicated.
We crave for the love and acceptance of our own people hence, we do what they say even if it has
negative consequences on us, our lives, our purposes and destinies.
To remain perfect, we believe, is to keep by the norms and traditions as stipulated by our families,
communities, organisations and the society. We think perfection is the ability to keep the rules, be in right
standing according to guidelines and laws, conforming to statutory orders without flaws, doing what
you've been asked to do every time without fail.
The more you keep the tradition, the more you grow your sense of entitlement to love, acceptance and
benefits within the community.
Every time you obey a tradition or a norm, you'll want to be seen, acknowledged and credited for your
obedience. The more obedient you are, the more the tendency to criticise and judge the disobedient and
the non-conforming.
Consequently in life, our mental and psychological attention is more on trying to be right in line with
tradition instead of trying to do right thing. Hmm.
You see, rules are put in place for control purposes. Rules are good when they serve protective and
security purposes. But when rules become restricting, relegating and exploitative, it becomes destructive.
Many of us are trying to be right in life by keeping the rules; this is not necessarily a bad thing, but if all
your attention is about being right according to rules, you may fail at doing right according to purpose and
destiny. Being right according to tradition is different from doing right according to the law of fairness,
equity and morality and purpose.
Any tradition or law that limits the right to do what is right is destructive.
Let me explain this. Being right is following rules and regulations that make you belong or identify with a
people in terms of lifestyle and ideologies; doing what the people do, believing and advocating what they
believe and advocate and eventually getting their kind of results and outcomes in life.
Doing right however, is the ability to do what is needed in order to fulfil your purpose and destiny even if it
requires breaking the general rules set in family, organisations, institutions and communities.
For example I was appalled when I saw a video clip of a religious leader instructing members of his
congregation to eat grass because the holy book says they are sheep and he's the shepherd and they
obeyed.
Frankly speaking, religious traditions have destroyed many homes and truncated many destinies because
the followers have rejected common sense and wisdom forgetting God blessed them with intelligence for a
reason.
Any rule that stops you from doing the right thing that will help deliver your destiny and purpose should be
ignored. Though, this may initially put you in a difficult position as a non-conformist with friends, family
and community, your purpose is more important than your people. This is simply because your purpose is
your assignment to the world not just your immediate community. When you prioritise your people over
your purpose, you sabotage your destiny in glory and impact. You limit your influence and absolute effect.
You're not a local champion, you're a global star; you're not just useful to your family and community,
you're useful to the whole world.
Don't undermine your potential and possibilities by conforming to limiting rules and ideologies as set by
your family, community, institutions and your society, think global, plan global, aspire global.
What you carry on your inside is a solution the whole world is in need of. Your territory of manifestation is
much bigger than your family, your village, your community, your state of origin, Nigeria and even Africa.
You are a world star, a global figure.
You shouldn't be limited in dreams and potential by any society or community. You have what it takes to
rule the world in the area of your purpose and calling.
Your product can be sold anywhere in the world, your services can be required in any part of the world,
your talent can be useful in any part of the world, your solution and ideas can be applicable in any part of
the world.
Don't let the infrastructure, mentality, behaviours, or the foreign exchange of your community or nation
keep you down, think global, earn global. You may be born and made in Nigeria, it's your decision to reign
and sell globally.
Truth is many of us today hardly think success as much as we think safety and community acceptance. In
fact we believe once we have our basic needs and social security, we are successful, this is not true.
As people belonging in a community with norms and traditions, we're designed to live for rules and
conformities than out of the box thinking and uncommon successes. Our daily devotion is to remain
faultless, loved, appreciated, accepted and included in that community even if at the end of our lives we
turn out as nothing; as nobodies.
Success is the ability to fulfil purpose despite all odds, yet many are more afraid of rejection and a lonely
journey than they are of failing in the place of purpose. We prefer to fail with the majority than succeed
alone. We find comfort and solace in numbers. Hmm
Most times, members of your immediate community can't handle your decision to be different and to
pursue your dreams because they see the risks and consequence of failure more than they see the glory of
your success.
Over the years they've leant fear though bitter experiences of failures and rather than seek and teach better
ways of doing things to the next generation, they teach fear and abstinence from the pursuit of success.
They teach the need to keep away from pain, hurt and scars in life. They refuse to accept that pain, hurt
and scars also contribute immensely to the glory of any success.
Dear friend, nothing useful remains perfect and spotless after effective deployment. Any instrument used to
produce anything useful, great and valuable can never remain the same after use.
Scratches, bruises, damage, repairs are parts of the life of a useful instrument of production and creativity.
Life is a battle, you don't go to war with the mind of keeping your uniform clean and well ironed; you don't
go to war, hoping to remain smooth and spotless.
When you're committed to winning a battle, the dirt, the noise, the bruises, the injury at times fractured
bones won't stop you; your mind is set on winning the battle.
A soldier determined to win a war does not entangle himself in civilian affairs. Don't be desperate to
remain perfect, squeaky and clean in tradition and norms, you will miss it sometimes and make mistakes in
life, don't be discouraged, the most important thing in life is to win in the place of purpose.
Fulfil your purpose, when you win and fulfil that purpose, you will realise even your imperfections worked
for your good ultimately, simply because you believed. Break the rules of tradition, limitations and fear,
fulfil your purpose; be successful.
Enjoy your day!