Self care isn’t always easy. We all know we’re supposed to remember to take time for ourselves -- to decompress and reconnect -- but sometimes life gets in the way. I know the struggle.
I have often found that the people who struggle the most with self-care are the ones who are the most selfless and giving of themselves to others in real life.
In this article I’ll share my thoughts on self-care, then give you 5 Essential Tips for practicing this vital art!
Every day I work with artists, nonprofit managers, freelance contractors, community organizers, and more who are usually underpaid and overworked for their valuable contributions. And, if you’re on steemit you already know that managing your blog is a drain on your personal reserves whether you’re writing as a “side hustle” or your primary source of income.
These also tend to be the types of people who are deeply passionate about their work and feel a strong sense of personal investment in their product or creation. While passion promotes a strong work ethic, it can also lead to hyper-focus and a tendency to set aside self-care with looming deadlines and opportunities on the horizon.
I am 100% guilty of this. I love what I do and I have a tendency to say yes to everything -- which leads me to working on some awesome projects, but also leaves me feeling burned out more often than not. I often tell myself not to complain about my lack of personal time, because I’m benefitting from so many wonderful opportunities.
However, at the end of the day this is a lie I tell myself.
I don’t do my best work when I’m tired. And I certainly don’t do my best work when I’m frazzled, and running from meeting to meeting without a moment’s rest or scheduled time to eat. Last week was a perfect example of this: I had 3 major grant deadlines, launched a major fundraising campaign, had a roster of meetings, and worked five 15-hour days in a row. I didn’t take a proper weekend, and I don’t know when my next full day of rest will be.
I love what I’m doing, and I’m excited by the projects I’ll be wrapping up in the next week and a half. Still, I’m tired. And, I’m thinking a lot about self-care and how I need to make time to practice this art very, very soon! One of my goals in 2018 has been to find balance in my life as a freelance writer/consultant/artist and also a human being who wants to spend time out in the real world away from a computer screen!
Here’s the thing: you can’t pour from an empty cup. (I want to help you fill your cup, that’s why I’ve shared my personal self-care tips at the end of this article!)
Perhaps you’ve heard this quote from Eleanor Brown?
“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”
She has hit the nail on the head (and spurred a whole variety of quotes and phrases spinning off her wonderful metaphor in the process). You really can’t do your best work unless you are replenished and operating from a place of personal fullness and balance.
When I stop and take the time to care for myself I notice that everything I do astronomically improves. I notice that I deal with problems more effectively, manage projects more resourcefully, and bring a higher level of creativity to my work and interpersonal collaborations.
It’s important to remember that self-care is a practice.
Self-care isn’t something most people (myself included) are naturally good at. The society we live in has programmed us to live with an achievement mindset -- focused on the next goal, the next promotion, or the next accomplishment. Taking time to stop and smell the roses isn’t widely reinforced as a highly desired trait in a modern human being.
To me, our ability to practice self-care is a muscle that must be carefully honed. When we think about physical fitness we know that building a physique is a years-long process with many ups and downs. Self-care is no different -- we must commit to the practice every day, build our “muscle”, and make self care a habitual part of our everyday lives.
We also have to remember to forgive ourselves when we do say yes to too many things and fall off the horse.
The fact that we aren’t perfect at self-care is what makes it a practice, after all. I think it’s also important to remember that self-care looks radically different for everyone.
For me, self-care is doing anything that disconnects me from the constant tether of my phone and computer. In particular, I love to be outdoors hiking, in a yoga studio, checking out art, or cooking in my kitchen. Perhaps more than anything else, these four things are my constant “practices” that reliably relax me, reconnect me, and bring me a deep sense of calm and happiness.
Other folks prefer meditation, drawing, dancing, breathing exercises, and a myriad of other unique activities that free up their minds and souls, reconnecting them to their inner self. When it comes to self-care, I say “you do you” as long as it affirms your existence and makes your heart full.
From my own conscious practice of self-care, I’ve noticed that there a few recurring themes that consistently help me to get better and better at caring for myself, and having fewer and fewer “crazy pants weeks” where too much happens all at once. I’d love to share those with you now!
5 Essential Tips for Practicing the Art of Self-Care
(1) GET PHYSICAL
You can’t be your best self unless you’re rested, well fed, hydrated, and reasonably exercised! When I get really busy I skip meals, I skip sleep, I forget to talk at least short walks, and I almost never drink enough water. It’s amazing how eating balanced meals, committing to a sleep schedule (maybe even instituting a no-screens after 11pm policy?!), getting your daily H20, and moving your body in some way drastically improves everything. The world actually doesn’t run on pizza, my friends.
(2) REFOCUS
Do the thing that makes you feel the most “you”. For me, nothing makes me feel who I truly am more than being in nature. When things get really overwhelming I go hiking, or camping, or take a road trip. If I’m outdoors, I know I’ll find my true north. On a weeknight, this might be as simple as going to a beach to watch the sunset and breathe in silence. I think we all have those things that are central to our identity and help us recenter, what’s yours?
(3) SENSE OF HUMOR
Having a sense of humor is one of the most critical components of living a happy, healthy life. Let’s be honest, most of us aren’t curing cancer in our daily lives. The small hiccups and snafus that happen on a daily basis can be overcome with a pinch of grit and a big splash of humor most of the time. Humor keeps us humble, open, and helps us to connect with more people, more authentically.
(4) ASK FOR SUPPORT
You aren’t in this alone, and neither am I. Sometimes it just feels like it. I went through a major depressive episode in the last few years triggered by a particularly nasty breakup. It was easy to go inside of myself, and far more difficult to ask for support. But as soon as I did ask, I found that I had a built-in network that buoyed me up and helped me cope. Who are those people in your life that you can call on? Who will be there to just listen without judgement? Sometimes that’s exactly what we need the most.
(5) SCHEDULE SELF CARE AND STICK TO IT
If you are someone who struggles with self-care it’s because you’re busy. So do what busy people do and schedule time to care for yourself. Every week prioritize giving yourself time and space to recharge and do the things that make you feel good inside (whether that’s calling a friend, attending a pottery class, or taking a long lunch break in a park). Give yourself something to look forward to and don’t you dare cancel! Your time will be paid forward in your personal relationships, career, and outlook on life.
Again I say, I am not the ultimate expert in this (not even close!). Self-care is a practice, and I’m merely on my own journey to getting better at finding balance!
Still, I hope that as you read you recognized some parts of your own experience, and got a little inspiration and encouragement to reinvest in your most important asset: yourself.
To wrap up, I’ll leave you with this question:
How do you practice self care? What do you do to affirm your own existence?
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