Emotions are felt and expressed, they can be complex, strong and subjective responses such as love and fear. Such response involve physiological changes as a preparation for action. Emotions can also be a state of agitation or disturbance, a part of our consciousness that involves feeling or sensitivity.
According to Viktor Frankl, everything can be taken from a man but the last of human freedoms which is the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances i.e to choose one’s way.
This implies that human beings naturally react to different situations differently without following a definite pattern. A lot of people react emotionally to situations, allowing their feelings control them instead of the other way round.
It is important to remember and note, that there are positive and negative emotions.
Most people don’t need strategies for managing their positive emotions, feelings of joy, excitement, compassion or optimism usually don’t affect others in a negative way as long as you share this emotions constructively and wisely.
Have you ever wondered why somebody shouts unnecessarily, isolates his or herself, how about when somebody you didn’t offend suddenly picks up a quarrel with you over what is not or why little issues or a simple tease gets a person boiling? Negative emotions are at play. People as well react terribly to stressful &unpleasant situations.
For instance, a company executive who becomes hostile, yelling at her secretary unnecessarily when she learnt she had to work extra hours, is reacting terribly to an unpleasant situation.
A kid becoming unruly or uncontrollable after he is forcefully taken from home is reacting terribly to an unpleasant situation.
An uncle snapping at his niece when she lost her mother because she wouldn’t stop crying is another terrible reaction to an unpleasant situation.
Frustration, worry or nervousness, anxiety, anger, disappointment, dislike, sadness, self pity, discouragement and pain are some other negative emotions experienced to mention a few.
Families or parents who have faced harsh separation, molestation or unfavorable goverment regulations are more likely to face pain and negative emotions. They are also more susceptible to reacting terribly to an unpleasant situation. Pain can be psychological, physical or emotional.
A mother who doesn't have the capacity or ability to cater for her child and is being threatened by social services or government agencies is likely to snap, yell and fall into depression a lot.
However, as much as exhibiting negative emotions are not always the fault of the sufferer, this emotions need to be managed. Either by the sufferer receiving help or by personal determination. The ability to choose your reactions to bad situations and to manage your emotions makes you a better and a wiser person. This also affords you the ability to think of the way forward and how to get out of the situation.
I guess someone might say but this is me , this is how I feel when I'm faced with certain situations, I am just human, I am not perfect there is nothing I can do about it..... absolutely wrong! ever heard of the Batari box also known as the CIRCLE OF CONFLICT?
The circle of conflict explains how your attitude affects others. Moreover if you emit waves of hostility or carry around you a air of negativity that is what you will definitely get in return because that is what you will attract.
CIRCLE OF CONFLICT
According to the Batari box, my attitude affects my behaviour then my behaviour affects your attitude, then your attitude affects your behaviour .
So you see, everyone's attitude positive or negative affects others.
How then can you become better at handling your emotions and choosing your reactions to bad situations?
First of all, you must realise that things will never go the way you plan it, this helps you to handle disappointment and discouragement. If things were to go the way you plan it, then like somebody once said life would be a straight road instead of one with hills and valleys, ups and downs. Whereas it is the hills and valleys that often make life interesting.
Also in every situation you find yourself stop to look at the situation and why you got into it. If you are frustrated, you feel helpless, stuck and unable to do anything about the situation still ask yourself “why am I frustrated?” write down how you feel and be specific.
Think of one positive thing about your current situation, you always have the power to change your situation, all you need do is see things from a different angle. Even when you think you are deliberately being annoyed or you dislike a person for how they act, don’t get mad.
Always have it in mind that negative emotions will never change a thing , if you worry too much it leads to more worry. Anger could lead to permanent damage, stop it before it degenerates into something big. A therapist once said when you are very angry count 1-10 and take in deep breaths to calm down.
If someone keeps frustrating you by their actions, or when you dislike someone because of their attitude, be humble and assertive. Set aside your pride/ego, treat the person with respect and courtesy. Just because someone else behaves absurd doesn’t mean you should too.
Always open up, be assertive let the other person know he is doing what is not right.
More importantly, we should know that every day someone somewhere is battling negative emotions they can not control, someone somewhere needs our support and prayer, a mother is facing harsh conditions, battling to keep her family together, someone somewhere needs their story to be told, a father is battling and struggling to feed his family, a child is wishing he can celebrate new year happily with his family.
We must never fail to light up the life of others and be strong for them where their emotions fail them.
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