Introduction
As I stated at the start of this series, one of the things I want to do this month here on my blog is to share some very helpful words of wisdom on love, courtship and marriage.
My wife, 
Expect this to be eye opening. I'll be as simple as possible and as direct as I should be.
So, let's continue our conversation on Demystifying Sexual Compatibility.
These are excerpts from my teachings at the last Relationship School Conference held in October 2017.
3. A BIBLICAL MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT BEFORE GOD
In this part of this series I want to start by talking about God's way of looking at marriage.
It's very vital for us to see things the way God does.
in Malachi 2:14-16 God makes a statement that shows the way He views marriage.
He says the person who is your wife became your wife by a COVENANT you made with her.
Malachi 2:14-16 (NKJV)
14 Yet you say, “For what reason?”
Because the Lord has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.
15 But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit,
And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
16 “For the Lord God of Israel says
That He hates divorce,
For it covers one’s garment with violence,”
Says the Lord of hosts.
“Therefore take heed to your spirit,
That you do not deal treacherously.”
This is how it's rendered in the Living Bible
Malachi 2:14-16 (Living Bible)
14 “Why has God abandoned us?” you cry. I’ll tell you why; it is because the Lord has seen your treachery in divorcing your wives who have been faithful to you through the years, the companions you promised to care for and keep.
15 You were united to your wife by the Lord. In God’s wise plan, when you married, the two of you became one person in his sight. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. Therefore, guard your passions! Keep faith with the wife of your youth.
16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, says he hates divorce and cruel men. Therefore, control your passions—let there be no divorcing of your wives.
This scripture should help you appreciate the fact that in the sight of God, marriage is a covenant.
What is a Covenant?
We can say that a covenant is a legally binding agreement that two parties enter.
We can see God in Malachi 2:14 saying He's the witness to the marriage covenant and that He takes it very serious.
I once heard a deaf man of God called Greg Mazak say that marriage is A COVENANT of companionship.
So true!
I want to give two very important scripture references that show us the way God sees marriage - as a covenant. The first is found in Proverbs
Prov. 2:16-17 (NKJV)
16 To deliver you from the immoral woman,
From the seductress who flatters with her words,
17 Who forsakes the companion of her youth,
And forgets the covenant of her God.
Notice that here how God describes a woman who is unfaithful to her husband. Her immorality is presented as a breach of covenant.
Another interesting example is in Ezekiel 16:8.
Ezekiel 16:8 (Living Bible)
“‘Later, when I passed by and saw you again, you were old enough for marriage; and I wrapped my cloak around you to legally declare my marriage vow. I signed a covenant with you, and you became mine.
So, these are two examples of scriptures among others, that show the way God sees marriage - as a covenant.
A Covenant of Lifelong Companionship
Marriage is that covenant you make before God that you want to be someone's companion for life.
As I have been pointing out from the beginning, by now it should be clear to you that a person can make this covenant if they're in love and they can also make this covenant if they're not in love.
Falling in love is not a reason to marry and should never be the bases for marrying someone.
If you check throughout history you'll find that people didn't fall in love first and get married as a result.
Throughout history people married someone because they made a choice and a covenant to be their companion for life.
A marriage that is based on biblical standards must include the CHOICE TO LOVE whether you're in love with the person or not.
Love is not a Feeling that Kidnaps You
At the point this revelation from God's Word really floods your heart, it changes everything. Life takes up a new appearance.
You become wiser and stronger. Your disposition changes. You think more in terms of covenant whether you feel like you're in love with him/her or not.
Now God deals with us as though we're in a love affair with Him, a union. As a matter of fact scripture makes it clear in Roman's 7:1-4 that we have died to the law and are now married to Christ.
So, let me ask you. Did you fall in love with God before this marriage happened? Did God establish this union because He fell in love with you and because you fell in love with Him?
I hope by now the point is clear.
Your love for God grew after you saw His actions of love for you demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt.
God chose to love you. There wasn't anything so special about you that made his heartbeat skip when He looked at your face. He didn't love you because your awesomeness knocked him off his feet.
He loved you by His own choice and poured His goodness into you. The One who invented love tells us love is a decision. Love is a choice. Love is something you do. It is not a feeling that kidnaps you.
In Titus 2:4 the younger women are told to learn to love their husbands. Does this not suggest to you that they didn't put love for the man first as a condition before getting married?
Titus 2:4 (Living Bible)
These older women must train the younger women to live quietly, to love their husbands and their children,
Whether you're a man or a woman, the moment you're married, no matter the way you felt before, you can and should learn to love.
Love is a decision.
Love is a choice you make.
You can choose to love anybody!!!!
Love is a Decision
Don't let the chemicals in your body fool you. Don't be led by your hormones.
Marriage is a choice made from your HEART, not based on the way someone makes you feel.
The fact that you fell in love with someone doesn't mean you should marry that person.
Also, the fact that you haven't fallen in love with someone doesn't mean you shouldn't marry that person.
Love isn't just something that comes on you or something that happens to you.
Love is something you do.
Love is a decision.