When we talk about happiness, we consider about staying happy all the time – every blessed day, every single minute with zero negativity. We try to chase this ceaseless state of “happiness” as our goal, and avert anything that may take it away from us. But what does “happiness” truly mean?
According to the Oxford dictionary, "happiness is a state of being happy, cheerful, or glad." It’s like your favorite food. The more you have of it doesn’t always mean the better.
Alternatively, when you only have a chance to eat it sparsely, that’s when you really enjoy every bite of it. So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how precious it is to you when you are eating it?
We should never forget that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy.
Assuming others are always happy is the biggest misunderstanding of happiness
Most people see those who have clearly perfect lives and presume they are happy all the time. Since childhood, we are conditioned to pursue the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairy tales.
On social media, everyone incline to share only the top looking aspects of their lives (including ourselves). So it’s very facile to have a malformed view of what “happiness” is around us.
In reality, there is always something lacking, something lacking, or something unpleasant.
Basically, no one has a perfect life. Even the most alluring celebrities or the richest billionaires, everyone has their own set of problems and challenges. When we feel negative, we only tend focus on a small unstable curve. You need to keep an eye on the extended curve.
Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time seem like only small glitch in a long line of experiences. Recalling them your my mind now makes you smile!
Stop trying to be happy, just be
It’s natural if you want to be happy as often as possible. So what can we do? First, discard the belief that a perfect life means happiness.
Generally, you would be miserable if everything was perfect. It’s from experiencing the pains of life long confrontations that propels us to care for others when they are experiencing the same problems. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to sympathize. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow.
In other words, to be truly happy, stop pursuing permanent happiness. It sounds like a puzzle. What i mean is, accept that there will be ups and downs, wrongs and rights throughout life. Gracefully understand that happiness is an unstable positive and negative events.
Understand the importance of appreciation. Rather than focusing on the unpleasant moment right now, flash back your memory to when you had or didn’t have anything. Think about your career, for instance. When you didn’t have a career but was still passionate to get one, the ups and downs.
When you felt like everyone was figuring out their lives except you. But when you finally discovered your purpose/aim, you'd be deeply happy. This memory keeps you going when there are tough spots. It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light.
Happiness and sadness exist together
What it all comes down to is this: your life will be full with beautiful, cheerful, happy and incredible moments. Happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories. But your life will also be filled with rain and storms, ups and downs that don’t ever seem to pass when you’re going through them.
All the same whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is danked by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.
Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones.
Don’t try to avert “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly pursue being “happy”. In the end you will accomplish a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful achievements and experiences. Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”.
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