After entering the world of 20ish, it's identical with the attributes such as searching for the identity, passion, independence, commitment, responsibility to the business to find a life partner.
Thinking about things like this made me think of what my teacher said when I was in high school. It was the day before graduation for all third graders including myself.
"What do you want to be ten years from now?"
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At that time, I did not take this question seriously, yet ten years is a long time. I could plan and do many things during this period. However, four years have passed, and signs will be "what" has not seen a bit. The bad again, it's starting to get a little scary.
What is this like for all young people who are growing up? The fear of being "nothing" in the future? Or for the worst, "losers"?
Apart from all these attributes, I remember one moment that mattered in my life. The moment when I had to fight furiously to get to college in state universities (PTN). Because then, I realized if PTN is the only way for me to taste the world of lectures. I need three attempts to get through PTN where 2 of them are painful failures. And that process takes three years only for one seat in State College.
In the first year after graduating from high school and failing in the first SBMPTN (First Joint Selection of State College), I had to volunteer to bear the status of "unemployment." This is a very tortured inner state. The situation that makes the people you meet every day turns away and is reluctant to spend time with you. The status that makes you completely isolated from the environment. The situation that makes you feel like the most useless person in the world. Fortunately, I still have the closest people who are faithful to support and encourage, especially my mama.
Arrived the day of the second SBMPTN announcement, and again, I had to swallow the bitter pill because it was declared a failure.
At that time, I was disappointed. After the time, money, and energy I sacrificed, it has not been able to make me eligible for acceptance. And I feel if the business that I give is maximal.
Shit, what's the point here?
At this point, I do not know what to do. The desire to get a seat in the PTN slowly began to fade. Arrived in the third year where I had to give up the unemployment status and provide an opportunity for office employee status to stick to me.
The same routines, monotonous work, and salary at the end of the month are identical to my life throughout the year. However, behind the feeling of happy salary and bonus at the end of the month, and behind the boredom of monotonous routine every day, there is a deep desire to taste the world of lectures.
There is still one more chance; it could not hurt to try?
Because of the morning until late afternoon I have to work, then at night, I use to learn SBMPTN material. This activity I do continuously throughout the year until the day that the third test for me will be implemented.
A month after that, the announcement of SBMPTN selection results will be announced again. That day, I totally surrendered with the results to be announced. In my mind, at least I've tried, let God do the rest. Even if I fail again, I still have a handle, that is my job.
However, fate says otherwise. For the first time in my life, I felt like a "Winner" because I was successful and was declared entitled to get one seat in State College.
Honestly, that moment can not be described in words. I could not resist the tears that naturally moistened my face.
Two months after that, I decided to resign from work, and on the same day, I wore a prideful alma mater to attend the inaugural ceremony as a "student" student.
My experience is probably nothing compared to the experience of others. But at the very least, this experience helps to build my character and perspective on how to address every issue that never ends.
There is nothing more fun than achieving the goals and dreams that we desire.
There is a saying that if the effort will never betray results. And this proverb has been proven in my life and will continue to believe it until there is no dream left for me to pursue.
Reference 1, 2
