Chapter 1 HERE
Blade was keeping his distance, still fixated on the shiny breastplate and just following some distance behind when the women entered the forest and disappeared from view. Realising his mistake Blade quickened his pace but by the time he reached the tree line they were gone and he had no idea which direction they had gone, nor where they were headed. He slapped himself on the forehead and it was as if one more knock to the head had helped him come to his senses. An idea popped into his damaged mind.
Looking around the forest he found what looked to be one of the tallest trees and he started to climb. As he got near the top he peered out over the forest canopy searching through the trees in the vain hope of capturing one more glimpse of that shiny breastplate but it was no use. He started climbing down and was muttering angrily at himself for being so stupid when he heard a sound.
Below he spotted a large man with a huge metal fist hanging off his right arm. He recognised the knuckle-dragger straight away as a friend of He-Mans and the rage inside him went from simmer to boil. His name was Fisto and Blade expected he was probably on his way to visit his arch-enemy He-Man and attend to him with that large fist. He had the element of surprise, but before common sense or wisdom could penetrate his rage he leapt from the tree drew his swords Arthur and Martha and screeched some weird-ass slightly feminine shrill battle cry that would have made Xena Warrior Princess proud.
Sadly for Blade, his depth perception failed him again and instead of decapitating his foe in one smooth motion (as he visualised with his mind’s eye) he instead collapsed in a heap at Fistos feet with a resounding splat as his bald head bounced off a rock and left an indent in the soft grass. Dazed again he staggered to his feet before everything went black. The last thing he saw was that big metal fist coming his way….
Blade awoke, sprawled amongst the upper branches of that very same tall tree with a throbbing headache and a big egg on the side of his forehead that looked like an extra head. An extra head would have been helpful because if only he had a bit more brain power he might have been smart enough not to pick a fight with someone twice his size. Battle strategy wasn’t exactly Blades strongest suit.
“I’ve got to get out of here….” He muttered to himself as he came to his senses. Fisto was gone but Blade was now overcome with overwhelming feelings of self-preservation and he scrambled down the tree and scurried off into the forest undergrowth.
He started heading North, thinking he could take some refuge in the Vile Marsh where fellow villain Leech had made his lair. In the past the two had sucked down a few pints together and were on reasonable terms. Even though the last time they were together Blade got creeped out when Leech eyed him up and down before giving him a wink and a hungry look.
The forest was starting to get darker as Blade approached the swamp and just as the ground beneath him started to get squishy underfoot he saw some movement in the bushes ahead. Slowly he crept forward and as he peered out his eyes lit up and his mouth started to water. He licked his lips at the sight of a pair of juicy thighs bent over in front of him.
Just as he was close enough to take a bite, Blade stepped on a stick and a loud SNAP broke the eerie silence. Donny Leghorn stopped pecking at the shiny coin on the ground and stood bolt upright at the sound while Blade unsheathed a blade and prepared to pounce.
As he was about to strike, Donny Leghorn swivelled sharply and ducked the incoming blow. “Take it easy!” Donny pleaded as he broke into a sprint. Even though he was basically just a big chicken he was quick on his feet and those big juicy thighs served him well as he dashed away from the flailing Blade.
Blade gave chase for a while but quickly ran out of breath as his heavy armour and short stumpy legs soon had him gasping for air. “Dammit!” he yelled into the empty forest “I can’t even beat an oversized chicken!” After a short rest and a satisfying stint of indulging in some self-pity he once again started plodding off toward the lair of Leech, dragging his feet through the increasingly sloshy ground.
The forest floor soon gave way to murky marsh and the eerie silence gave way to the odd croaking frog and the constant splish sploshing of Blades muddy footsteps as he trudged through the muck. Soon he was close to the lair of Leech and he slowed down, suddenly overcome with doubt that his visit would be well received. “Maybe he already has dinner guests?” he wondered foolishly as if fumbling for an excuse to turn back.
He stopped in his tracks as a loud whirring sound pierced the silence, followed by an undeniable splattering sound. Sensing a new danger instinctively Blade ducked behind a tree and peered out to see a strange half-metal man with a trench coat and spinning blades attached to his head. “What monstrosity is this?” he hissed in terror as he saw the decapitated body of Leech sink into the marshy water, leaving just the head in a pool of blood on a rare patch of dry ground.
The half-metal man in the trench coat was hovering off the ground as the blades above his head whirred faster, spraying flecks of blood in every direction. Blade shrunk away from the sight in horror as the half-metal man flew up into the sky and out of sight. He could feel another anxiety attack coming on and he grasped for his security dagger, thumbing the leather handle nervously while a thousand thoughts flooded through his mind.
“I’ve got to get out of here.” He muttered to himself for the second time that day as he realised something was afoot and strange things were going on. Seeing Fisto on the way to Greyskull was no surprise, but a giant chicken?....and now this half-metal flying man in a trench coat with twirling swords attached to the top of his head?
A rare moment of wisdom and clarity washed over him. “I need to find King Stratos” he thought “He will know what to make of these strange-lings.” With that tidbit of sanity in the forefront of his mind Blade bolted off in the direction of Windemere…..
TO BE CONTINUED