Lurking amongst the shadows of Castle Greyskull, the wanna-be-but-not-quite arch villain was fumbling his way around trying to find out where nemesis He-Man was holed up. He’d searched the nooks and crannies but after bouncing off a few walls and doors his head was sore and his one good eye was reddened and watery.
It was then he heard an unexpected noise in the usually quiet castle and instinctively he dived for cover behind a pillar. Again he cracked his head as his depth perception failed him and he mis-timed the jump. Dazed for a moment he gathered himself and peered out from behind his cover to find three shapely figures having a light conversation only a short distance away. “Where did they come from?” he muttered to himself as he squinted his one good eye to see more.
Immediately he was transfixed by the shiny push-up breastplate and the triple cleavage that presented a serious challenge to his thought process. “Hmmmm….” he moaned to himself with a guttural tone that he didn’t even hear. He squinted harder to see if he could catch a glimpse from his red and watery eye "Is that side boob?" he wondered in amazement.
He looked down at his calloused and blistered hands, worn and hardened by hours of his favourite pastime – twirling his favourite sword. It was something he thought about often and it might have been the bang on the head but he forgot for a moment what he was doing in Castle Greyskull as he just quietly watched while straining to listen.
He liked to watch people, it was another favourite pastime of his that was second only to twirling his favourite sword. Often he would alternate between the two favourite pastimes. He had other swords too, steel ones named Arthur and Martha which he used for fighting. He liked to wield them in alternating hands depending on his mood. His mood right now though was curious as he overheard them talking….
"She-Ra, long time no see," TeelaK replied. "I'm great, but He-Man? Well, he's not doing so well. Apparently, the most powerful man in the universe is not immune to the so-called 'man flu' and is hauled up in bed, dying" she said sarcastically.
Suddenly a wave of anxiety struck him and he could feel a cold sweat coming on. “Man flu!” he hissed as he recoiled away from the talking beauties back into the shadows. He wasn’t scared of many things…well maybe a few things…and people. There was that time Beast Man bitch slapped him after he caught him watching while he “groomed” himself. He had called him “Tom” from that day on but Blade had never understood why…
However Man flu was something that positively terrified him. For a moment his hatred for He-Man was forgotten as he realised then and there that his big showdown with the oversized pin cushion would have to wait. At least until the sniffles were gone. “How long is the incubation period for Man flu anyway…?” he wondered to himself, again lost in thought he stood there in a stupor amongst the shadows as the three women walked past.
Instinctively and without even thinking he began to follow a safe distance behind…