Oh, Mountain Dew.
The delicious beverage that Adam Carolla refers to as "the nectar of the 'tard."
You're a delightful yellow-green color and sweeter than the day is long.
Your green can and bottle label smile at me from store shelves and from the inside of my refrigerator.
Paired with Doritos Nacho Cheese, you make for quite a treat!
Sure, there may be a stigma about consuming you while chomping Doritos and playing Xbox, but it's a stigma I willingly bear for a carbonated sip of you.
And the gear! Oh, the gear! The sunglasses, T-shirts, glassware, mini fridge, basketball, cooler, and socks that I own!
Let's not forget my Halloween "costume" last year where I was the "Mountain Dude" and I handed out cans to the adults accompanying their children while trick-or-treating.
And the time when I was at work and a man walked by in a shirt emblazoned with your extreme logo, bearing the slogan "give me a Dew!" and I reached under my desk and gave him a can.
Yes, Mountain Dew. I am weird about you. It's what I do. I do the Dew.