Let's face it. For most, life is about finding a companion or several who satisfy our needs. No matter what the needs are. Is it to be close to that significant other and build a life with them, or to be close to anyone who just happens to be there. To feel the warmth of someones skin and soul. To share your thoughts, to have someone cheer you up when you're down or to cuddle with when you feel cuddly. Someone to offer you a safe place where you don't have fear the future. To offer you comfort when you think you aren't on top of things in your life. To laugh at your oddities, to scold you when you mess things up and to celebrate with you when you achieve awesome things. And to gently stoke your shoulder and say: "I'm here and I like you."
In short, what nature intended us to do is to be born, grow up, reproduce, grow the offspring of ours or others until they manage on their own and repeat that until we die. That's why the need for other people. Or that one we can call darling.
But as we humans tend to think too much, we want life to be something else too. "There has to be more in life! There just has to! And if not in life, after life then. Because THERE HAS TO!" Well boohoo. No. There doesn't have to. Nobody owes you an explanation to all this. Nobody owes you eternal life because you've mostly been good or believed in something. Nobody owes you anything.
It's just this: Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
So remember to have fun. That's the meaning of life because not all of us can or want to reproduce in between of birth and death. Not all of us can or want to have that significant other because friends are enough or perhaps the life of a lonely wolf is just perfect for you. Still that doesn't mean you can't have fun.
So here's me having fun and explaining how life really goes the way nature intended it to happen. Let me do what I do best: take a simple fact, birth-reproducing-repetition-death, break it down for you to tiny peaces, explain some more and give you the cruel truth of life with the help of movie quotes.
Are you ready for the truth?
You want the truth?
You can't handle the truth!
Nevertheless here we go.
Birth
There you are not so concerned about anything else than pooping in to your diaper and thinking when's the next meal going to be. And doesn't matter if you are a girl or a boy, tits are the only thing you really think about. Oh the bliss when you have your mouth full, belly full and soon your diaper full.
Fast forward through childhood to teens and early adulthood.
Did you forget that superheroes exist? Sure they do. We all have been superheroes when we where children. Everything was possible! But that all wen't away when we reached the teens. The child self should have shouted louder to the teen self: "May the Force be with you", because in the teen years life got a crash course of how hard things really can be. But you forget that fact for awhile because now you are a young adult, the world is your oyster and the only thing you chase after, the only thing you see or care is: "Show me the money!" So you are out there in a college or a university or somewhere else as a student and wondering how the hell all the other kids do this. Working, studying, partying and sleeping. Something doesn't add up because there's not enough hours in a day to do all that.
Adulthood a.k.a. when life happens
So from this on everything is just repeating the same things over and over as you slowly start to realize the fact that some day you are going to die. And as you are doing the things that you have to do in order to stay alive and be a productive citizen, you notice after every week, every month, every year that time has passed by and you have not had the time to enjoy it because you have to study, make money, pay bills, clean your house, buy food, eat food and take care of your family. Again something doesn't add up because there's not enough hours in a day to do all that. And when the weekend comes, your old pals call you or you just happen to have a "longer day at the office", you may find yourself desperately having "fun" out there in the bar or a nightclub thinking that you are terribly attractive there drunken-dancing on the tables, face painted like a drag queen although you never intended that because you are a good girl, or you are there at the bar counter waiting for the bartender, thinking all the ladies will fall in to your lap when you just speak with your terribly masculine, clothes off ripping voice: "A martini. Shaken, not stirred."
But you failed to remember the six beers with the pizza before you came to the bar, three whiskeys at work because a work buddy of yours had his last day at work, and the five tequilas that you drank to impress the ladies that you already asked to come and talk to you. So what you actually say to the bartender is: "AmarrrrTITS! Shake 'em, nossrrrrrrd." And behind your back some old hag with a face painted like a drag queen falls from the table because they got overenthusiastic of a certain Bodyrockers song called Dirty. But you're happy because you got to see the lady's huge knockers. Or knickers if you prefer that better. "Oh my, her legs are pretty fine", you say to yourself. Anyway, she's alright. The fall didn't kill her. The amount of alcohol in her blood cushioned the fall.
So there you are, fallen from the table and none of those assholes bothered to help you up. Only that one that's hanging at the bar counter didn't laugh and you're thinking what a lovely pair of bedroom eyes that one has. Or three. Does he have three eyes and four arms? You wish that twat would decide how many eyes and arms he has. You decide to go and talk to him as soon as you can find your feet. No matter how many limbs he has because he has a pulse. And that's the only important thing.
Falling in love
One day it happens. Where you hang out. At work, at the bar, in the park where you jog every morning, where you study, in the woods where you stalk people or in the internet where you were just minding your own business. You meet that someone and if you are brave enough, you go and start a conversation with them. And as you fear that beautiful someone that caught your eye, might answer: "You talking to me?" at the same time you are hoping that gorgeous thing or an angel fallen from the sky responds: "You had me at hello." Or then again it might be you that someone tries to talk to and you might find yourself saying: "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?" Which for some reason is always cuter than an old guy doing the same thing for a younger woman. But as I said, there you were, anonymously minding your own business in the internet, stalking people. And there it was. Love. Or at least a potential partner.
Photo: CC BY-SA 4.0 - Insaneworks
You talk to each other and notice how much you have in common. You agree on several things and if someone asks what your hobbies are, you speak at the same time: "We rob banks" and burst into laughter because you are so similar and head over heals in love with your sugar-lump-honey-bunny. You have a joint Facebook account, love the same bands and you are so tightly glued together that other people want to kill themselves when they are around you. And you are absolutely sure that the things that you love to do, will keep you together for the rest of your lives. But sooner or later you will realize the facts of life and that being together is not what you have in common. It's about the facts that you disagree and how you deal with them.
But before we dig in to that, let's think about making things official. You may be one of those people who are thinking of marrying that significant other. Or if not marrying, you are at least thinking that it would be ever so more convenient if you would have all your stuff in the same place. How much more cheaper one house would be for two people, compared to two houses for two people. So now you have a problem. You may be nervous about the answer, or you may know the answer and be nervous about the future. Is this happiness going to last? Are we going to last? Is this it? Is this what I want? So you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk? Do it or don't. It's your decision. What ever you do, one thing is sure. One day you are going to die. And on that day, do you want to be thinking at this moment: "What would have happened if..." or "Well, can't blame me for trying!"
So there you are. First time with that one who you chose. One night stand from the bar, a friend that you just one day saw differently, someone you tripped over at your workplaces Christmas party or the one you married. Perhaps you are really confident and shout: "Here's Johnny!" right before you jump towards her and the bed, or you like to play virtuous but inviting and tell him: "Say “hello” to my little friend!" or perhaps this wedding night is the one night you have been waiting for your whole life and you are not going to let anything ruin that so you set the ground rules right away: "Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!"
Nevertheless, when you are doing what ever you are doing, if one of you asks: "Is it safe?", you perhaps shouldn't be doing what you are doing there. Because some day you might end up with something that antibiotics can't fix.
Children
At first you live in a dreamland. You have your purple glasses on. All fuzzy and cozy with your thoughts about life with children. The baby you are waiting or that has just arrived is my precious to you. And if you get twins or decide to get couple so that they have a small age difference, and you do not wake up from your fairy tail when the little devils run from their room at 6 am, jump into your bed shouting: Good Morning, Vietnam! causing you an ruptured eardrum and a black eye, but you're still thinking: "Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make", even thou you have slept only 2 hours, you will wake up to the reality called hell with kids at the moment when your neighbor looks at your family: one balding, other one pregnant, again, children 2, 4, 6, 9, 11 and 13 year old and says: "You're gonna need a bigger boat. And a house. And a car. Perhaps a buss." Then you realize that once again something doesn't add up because there's not enough hours in a day to earn enough money to keep your family fed and in clothes. And there's the teen screaming inside you that it wants a room and a life of their own!
Ordinary days in life
Again there you are. Looking at everything you have. Two cars, two houses, one in the country, perhaps two children, two dogs and a cat. Working like hell and paying your loans. Traveling every year to some exotic country on your vacation. And someone comes to you and asks: "What does love mean?" And you're like: "Duh dumbass, Love means never having to say you're sorry." And your spouse shouts to you from the open window: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" And you immediately know your spouse is right because you were so busy keeping everyone satisfied and alive in your family, that you never had the time to think about love. Or what is life. So you start to think. Right there and then. Garden hose in your other hand and the daily paper in the other. Could it be that love is quite the opposite? Wanting to say you are sorry, even if you do not know what you did wrong or is it because of you, but none of that matters, because you see the one you love hurting and you want to do anything and everything to make them smile again.
But also, thinking of love, your brain reminds you how you love the smell of napalm in the morning when you come out of the bathroom. And you think love must also be the thing that your spouse does. The smell you made, the one that you are so proud of, irritates the heck out of your spouse, along with 20 other things you do, but your life partner says nothing about those things because in the long run, the irritating things aren't that big of a deal. Or they are, but what your spouse does is just simple math. Are there more positive than negative things? And perhaps love is also the thing that you or your spouse do when you want to point out something that you do not like, in a way that doesn't hurt the other one. Like laying out your words really carefully. Or making a joke about the irritating thing. "Darling, what we've got here is failure to communicate so I might have to explain things a bit more. You know how I have a problem in dropping stuff because I'm so clumsy. And you know how you have a tendency to forget the toilet seat up? It might be that your toothbrush might some day drop when I'm cleaning in the bathroom, and if the toilet seat isn't down preventing stuff from falling in to the toilet... Well, you probably can imagine what could happen." And you know that's not entirely true, your spouse is sometimes clumsy, but in this case the toilet seat up perhaps irritates your spouse because the inside of the toilet looks disgusting and your spouse wants to postpone cleaning it because your spouse thinks no-one else ever cleans it. So you go along and promise to remember to close the lid every time in the future and you also think: "That's a small price to pay for the awesome sex we have."
Stick together or break up?
You may be in a relationship where you either have a complete understanding of each others boundaries and you both like to do compromises if that makes the other one happy, because making the one you love happy, makes you happy. Or you just have decided to stick together, no matter what and always resolve your problems. So you mostly wake up in the mornings smiling and whispering: "Hello, gorgeous" to your spouse. That one that still appears to you as the most beautiful person in the world, although few years have passed giving them wrinkles and several sleepless nights have painted dark circles under their eyes.
Or perhaps you are fed up with the fact that although after several nice requests to improve the life of everyone in this relationship, like someone else could occasionally cook and clean, sometimes make breakfast in bed or just empty the freaking garbage bins before they are so full that it's impossible to close them, nothing has happened in the mean time when you have been in a two week work trip and you come home really tired and drained out. Garbage bins have started to grow a new civilization in them, dishes walk to the hallway to greet you, as does the dirty laundry, but no-one else, and there are empty pizza boxes and wet bath towels in your side of the bed. "What a dump" are your only words as you gather your stuff and head out to the hotel never to return again.
Or maybe you are just doing stuff as you have always done and some day that significant other says to you "Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape." And you're thinking, "what did I do wrong", when you fail to see the things that you didn't do. You cared regularly about your car, washed and cleaned it, replaced parts in it so that it would serve you longer and work fine and dandy, but you failed to care for your relationship. You just assumed that it would be there and work on it's own without you lifting a finger to keep it alive.
Then again it may be that you just woke up one day to the fact that you really are going to die some day and that you want your youth back by any means possible. So you start going to gyms, buy new clothes and a fancy car. Travel without your spouse, perhaps start a new relationship without telling your present spouse anything about it because you are disgusted about the fact that your spouse has let themselves in to such a bad shape. Hell, nobody told you that small breasts can also be saggy! "How pathetic!" you think, but at the same time you do not see the fact that no matter how hard you try, you are also old and a twenty year old girl / boy on your side does not make you any younger.
Repeat
There you are. Again stalking in the woods and behind bushes. Jogging at the park. Writing in the internet not really looking but don't mind if someone that you could call your sweetheart, would come and sweep you off your feet. As long as you don't have to let go your old habits. You know, the important ones like how to fold your clothes, when to wake up so that the whole day isn't ruined, how to roast the chicken and where to buy your toilet paper. There are certain things that you just simply refuse to do or see differently. Like this is my rifle, this is my gun. Or perhaps you have given up hope altogether because your past relationships ended badly, and you fail to get a new one, although you say you are not actively looking but actually you are, because your response to everyone who might be interested is: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn", because if someone has deceived you in your past, that must make everyone the same. Deceivers.
Friday night, your favourite barnighclubwhatever. You alone drinking and then you see your ex. "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." Your ex is dancing on the table wearing a little bit too much make up, but boy can she shake that ass and my what lovely and long legs she still has. And you know that's her favourite song and you see she has drunk a little bit too much, but you try to convince yourself that you don't care because you want to think she's a bitch and deserves to fall of the table and you wish: "Go ahead, make my day, fall, fall, fall off bitch." And when she does you laugh, but really you are sad. Because the thing that you have repeated to yourself daily, has become the essence of you. "I'm always angry because of you". That's what you also think when you leave the bar alone. But you know that's not the truth. Truth is, you are always angry because of you and yourself alone. Because being angry is easier than the opposite.
Old age
Many decades after your birth you reflect your life. Things that you wanted to do, things that you did. Things that you said and the things that you should have said. Things that you got and the things that you missed. Perhaps you were one of those who stuck with their teenage love and now, when your grandchildren come to visit you, you say: "I'm not lonely. My darling is here because I see dead people." And they are understanding and hope they achieve the same thing when they are old and grey. Loved ones beside them, alive and dead ones.
Finally there you are not so concerned about anything else than pooping in to your diaper and thinking when's the next meal going to be. Oh the bliss when you have your mouth full, belly full and soon your diaper full.
Death
You're like: "Hasta la vista, baby. Some day I'll be back because I believe in rebirth." And you continue: "if it is so that there is only one god and rebirth isn't an option, I'm going to have a little chat with god and I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." What that offer is, that we shall never know, but to make things easier to deal with when thinking about death, I'm going to say: I bet it's awesome.
Here's some the movie clips with quotes. And a second one if the first video failed to deliver the most popular ones. And because I believe in repetition.
