Yesterday I wrote about how excited I was to see Gareth Evans “new” movie Havoc. All I needed to see was that the Welsh writer and director of The Raid: Redemption had a new movie and I was in. I am so glad I watched it! (I’m also very, very, very sorry to all of you.)
Was I so happy because I loved the movie and can’t wait to see it over and over? Oh god no! This movie was horrendous! I’m just glad I get a chance to prove that I don’t love every movie I see and I can actually be critical when a movie is complete garbage. And Havoc is complete garbage.
Before getting so excited, I wish I had done a little research. Then I would have discovered that this film actually wrapped up shooting way back in 2021. It was delayed by the need for significant re-shoots. Uh oh. 99% of the time “re-shoots” means the producers are trying to salvage a dumpster fire. And that is clearly what happened here.
Aside from a 10 minute action sequence in a nightclub about half way through the movie, there is not a single redeeming quality of this film. That scene involved cool music, great fight choreography and the wide shot action sequences I expected of the entire movie. As soon as the scene was nearing an end I thought, “Ok. This is where it gets going…” And then it came to an abrupt halt.
The first 45 minutes leading up to this club scene was boring and tedious. I personally HATE car chase scenes (the one exception is in The Bourne Identity because he actually checks a map during the chase). I feel I always know how they will end so I practically want to fast forward to the culmination of the good guy escaping or bad guy getting caught. Havoc opens with a cliche, boring and completely implausible car chase scene. Oh wait. No. It is a semi-truck chase scene. I have no idea what universe this movie takes place in but it is clearly one where the police have no helicopters and satellites don’t exist. The police are chasing a freaking SEMI-TRUCK down the highway. What laws of physics would allow a semi-truck to escape? Luckily for the driver and passenger of said truck, the laws of physics clearly do not apply in the world of Havoc.
After the boring chase scene, there is an incredibly bloody gun battle that includes absolutely nothing new or memorable. It seems Evans leaned on violence and gore as a crutch for the fact that there was a terrible plot and an almost complete lack of the awe-inspiring fight choreography I was expecting. People’s heads get shot and explode with cartoon like blood and gore. I’m not sure how many gallons of BRIGHT red corn syrup were sacrificed in order to make this movie, but I’m guessing it was almost as much pink paint was needed for The Barbie Movie (which was SENSATIONAL by the way).
Then it is time for some “character development”. There is not a single likes character in the entire movie. They aren’t even anti-heroes. They are all just assholes or over zealous rookie cops who are very quick to break every rule and risk their lives for a dirty cop they just met that day. There is not a single character to root for in any way at all.
It seems that Evans was banking on the final action-packed act to carry the entire movie. The only problem is that the action was just flat out dumb. Again he relied on gruesome death and dismemberment scene rather that excellent choreography and originality.
A couple of guarantees: 1. Everyone who shoots at her will miss. 2. She will miss no one.
Now here is the worst part. Remember how I said that the world of Havoc does not need to obey the laws of physics? I have never seen a more ridiculous display of marksmanship…. And I’m a fan of Star Wars where Storm Troopers can’t hit shit!
There are multiple scenes where 1 “good guy” is up against 50 (and I’m not exaggerating) “bad guys. The bad guys have machine guns and all 50 managed to miss our “heroes” with every single shot. And then the hero mows down all 50 with one or 2 squeezes of their trigger. I have heard of “plot armor” before but this was simply at another level. I realize I need a heaping scoop of suspension of disbelief when I am watching The Raid, Daredevil, and especially Banshee, but this movie tapped my supply about 20 minutes in. I simply could not possibly suspend my disbelief enough to not roll my eyes when a bad cop surrounded by about 20 guys is able to wrestle a firearm away form the boss.
This movie was so graphic and unpleasant that I can’t even put it into the “so bad its funny” category.
Back in the day, when I used to go to industrial clubs, the DJ would show movies without sound on the tv screens at the bar. Because there is no need to pay attention to this, perhaps this movie would be suited to be watched while doing shots while waiting for a song you like to come on. But you’d need to build a time machine in order to do that. And if you have one, it would be a better use of it to go back in time and not watch this movie.
I apologize to anyone who watched this because I mentioned it. I wish I could give you your time back.
So did anyone watch it? Got a different take? What’s the worst movie you’ve seen recently?