No idea what this is..

Maybe its part of the initiation of any show DJ. Maybe, that how it's supposed to happen. Nothing works out, things are not going well, you feel frustrated, you want to see if you can punch something (dudes are idiots), but know deep inside, that would solve nothing.

Last night, my anxiety was getting the best of me. It was holding me back, making me doubt things I happen to know quite well. Things that have to do with my ideas of self. I remembered what my older brother Jose told me when we were kids. He said - "when you felt scared, when you thought there was a monster in the closet, you opened the door to check".

Silly, I know, it might not mean a thing to you, you might think Hive account@meno needs to drink stronger coffee this morning. But I remember what those words meant to me that day. We were teenagers at the time, dealing with all the angst that comes with that experience. Fears, feelings of uncertainty, changes, the whole palette of anguish was happening and there we were. Attempting to make sense of it all, dealing with our parents divorce, living in different homes.

I remembered opening the closet, checking to see if there was a monster. Of course, monsters don't exist, but I still needed to know. That was me last night, once again. I was playing reprising my role as the overconfident idiot who knows things are not right, but moves forward as if they are.

This... Whatever this is, whatever that meant then and means now... this is the recording.

Maybe I'll delete this, maybe it will stay, I have no idea at this point. I felt like sharing it this morning and maybe I'll regret it, but to those who participated of this with me. Thank you.