Look For Part 1 and 3
Hey all. I wrote this screenplay. I'm not a professional screenwriter, but I think it's good. I think it's smart and funny and it makes me laugh. I'm also kind of a pirate. I don't know the proper channels to post my screenplay not being a pro, so I'll post here, and see how that goes. If you like it, please share it, upvote it, and all that stuff. It's a quick read. I think you'll like it. And if you really, really like it, you can tip me Eth and Btc. Addresses below. And if you really really really like it, you can talk to me about how me get it made into a film. Too long to post in one so I split it into a few parts. That's it! Upvote and Share! Thanks! Enjoy!
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INT. TIKI-BAR - NIGHT
After getting drinks Sam and Alex sit at an empty table. The
room is not very full except for some scattered groups. Alex
looks up and over to a table where two attractive young women
about their age are sitting. The women smile at Sam and Alex.
ALEX
(To Sam.)
Wait here a minute.
SAM
Aren't you in post relationship
mourning?
ALEX
Exactly!
Alex gets up, walks over and sits with the women.
ALEX
Hello ladies!
ABBY
Hello stranger.
ALEX
My brother and I aren't from around
here, and while we were visiting
wanted to see is we could enjoy the
evening with two beautiful women.
The women look up at Alex and glance over at Sam, then smile
at each other.
ABBY
Yeah, they're cute.
MOLLY
I don't see why not...
ALEX
Sam…
Alex waves for Sam to join them. Sam walks over.
SERIES OF SHOTS
The group drinks and laughs a bit as some time passes.
BACK ON SCENE - INT. TIKI-BAR - NIGHT
MOLLY
You want to dance?
SAM
I don't know. I'm not really much
of a dancer.
ALEX
Stop being so lame!
SAM
(To Alex.)
I don't have all that practice like
you do!
Alex eyes swell embarrassed.
MOLLY
(To Sam.)
C'mon. Let's grab another drink and
then get on the floor.
Molly pulls Sam up and we follow them as they walk towards
the bar talking.
MOLLY
Your brother seems sweet.
SAM
He is. He's a good guy.
Sam and Molly arrive at the bar.
SAM
What are you drinking?
MOLLY
Gin and tonic.
SAM
(To bartender.)
Two gin and tonics.
MOLLY
So tell me more about your Grandpa?
SAM
Well we're adopted. We call Gripper
our grandpa, but he's more like our
dad. Hey, you know Different
Strokes?
MOLLY
Of course. That show from the 80's.
SAM
It's sort of like that, except
we're not from the city, not really
rich, and neither of us are short.
We don't have a maid, but we do
oddly have a step-sister named
Kimberly. Anyways, that was a good
show…
Sam stares off.
MOLLY
I'm confused… Except for you're
stepsister that doesn't sound like
Different Strokes at all?
SAM
Oh yeah! Well Gripper, he a
widower. Our Mother worked at his
bar since she was a teenager. She
was like a daughter to him. When
Alex and I were very young our
parents were killed in a car
accident. Our Father died
instantly, but our Mother was able
to hold for a few days. Her dying
wish that Gripper adopt us.
MOLLY
I'm so sorry! Gripper seems like a
great guy! You said he's sick now?
SAM
Yeah. The person we call Grandma
was Gripper's longtime girlfriend
while we were growing up. He dated
her for years after his wife died.
She helped raise us, but her and
Gripper are estranged now.
Sam and Molly arrive to the dance floor...
ABBY AND ALEX
At the table.
ABBY
So I don't get it. Why'd your
Grandma leave Gripper?
ALEX
She wanted to get married. Gripper
couldn't bring himself to marry
again. They broke up and she moved
to New York City to try her hand at
acting.
ABBY
That's quite the story.
MOLLY AND SAM
On the dance floor dancing.
SAM
How am I doing?
MOLLY
Your doing fine.
SAM
I am sorry if I am not that good.
I'm not much of a dancer...
MOLLY
Relax.
They dance for a few more seconds.
MOLLY
What is that?
SAM
What is what?
MOLLY
That! What is that?
Molly looks down and see's that Sam has a huge boner. Sam
appears embarrassed. Molly taps the boner and laughs. Sam
stops dancing and looks to the booth of people next to them
beside the dance floor. The entire group is staring.
SAM
Oh no! It's the shorts! We left the
hotel so quickly I just threw these
on without underwear and--
MOLLY
--Don't worry about it. It's
actually pretty funny.
Sam and Molly continue dancing.
A man is seen walking through the door.
ABBY AND ALEX
At the table. Abby sees the man who just walked in.
ABBY
Oh no! It's Bubba.
BUBBA is a stereotypical, big, dumb, tough-guy hick.
ALEX
Who?
ABBY
Molly's ex. He's nuts. If he sees
her dancing with another guy he's
going to go ape-shit.
ALEX
What should we do?
ABBY
One of us needs to warn them.
ALEX
It might be a bit late for that.
Bubba is already walking over to Molly and Sam. Bubba taps
Molly on the shoulder.
BUBBA
Molly?
MOLLY
Bubba? What are you doing here?
BUBBA
(Dumb hick tone.)
Came to get drunk! Better question
is what are you doin' with this
guy?
MOLLY
(Trying to be calm.)
It's cool. Bubba we broke up! And
were only dancing.
BUBBA
It's not cool.
(To Sam.)
Who the fuck are you?... And what
the fuck is that?
Bubba points down to Sam's shorts.
SAM
Thats, umm, a boner.
BUBBA
This is what you're doing Molly!?
Dancing with boners! You whore!
Sam tries to intervene.
SAM
Hey. Don't call her a whore.
BUBBA
Stay out of this boner boy!
Bubba shoves Sam aside and goes to grab Molly. A fight
starts. Sam is punched in the face. Alex hits Bubba over the
head with a chair. There is a big commotion.
ABBY
You both should go.
ALEX
(Rushed.)
Are you gonna be ok?
ABBY
We'll be fine. We're used to this
shit.
Alex kisses Abby on the cheek then grabs Sam.
EXT. TIKI-BAR - NIGHT
Sam and Alex quickly run out and get in car. Bubba chases
after them on foot as they peel out.
INT. CAR (MOVING) - NIGHT
Sam is driving while Alex is in the passengers seat.
ALEX
What are we going to do now?
SAM
Let's just go back to the hotel so
I can ice this and get to bed.
INT. CAR (MOVING) - DAY
It is morning, Sam is driving and both Sam and Alex are back
on the road.
ALEX
How's your face? That looks bad.
Sam has the beginnings of a bit of a black eye.
SAM
I'll be fine.
ALEX
Those girls were nice. Too bad we
had to leave.
SAM
(Sarcastic.)
Yeah too bad...
(Normal tone.)
We should stop soon and get the car
looked at.
ALEX
It feels fine now. I think we'll be
okay.
SUPER: Later That Day
The car starts to buck and sputter again, then stops running.
ALEX
That's not good...
SAM
Dammit! I told you!
ALEX
Let's just forget about that and
call a tow.
SAM
I don't have any reception. You?
ALEX
Me neither. Someone should come
along soon.
EXT. STANDING ON ROAD OUTSIDE CAR - DAY TIME LAPSE
Alex and Sam stand outside the car attempting to flag down
several cars as time passes. None stop.
EXT. STANDING ON ROAD OUTSIDE CAR - EVENING
Alex and Sam stand with their thumbs out as a beat up piece
of crap car buzzes by. About a hundred feet after passing
them the car stops.
ALEX
See. Our luck is changing already.
SAM
Yeah, but what if it's a psycho
murder?
ALEX
You mean like Buzzy Munson!?
SAM
That's exactly what I mean.
ALEX
Buzzy Munson is old, and in jail.
This is probably just some nice
country folk stopping to do a good
deed.
The person gets out of the car and starts walking towards Sam
and Alex. The person's name is JOHNNY DIXON. Dixon resembles
a young Buzzy Munson, the person from the "Buzzy and the
Waves" flash-scene. He has long dark hair, a big beard, is
skinny and plainly dressed in a T-shirt and jeans. As Dixon
walks closer he becomes more visible.
ALEX
(Scared.)
Oh shit, oh shit. That looks like
the second coming of Buzzy Munson.
I'll never say anything dumb ever
again…
SAM
(Deadpan.)
We're going to die…
ALEX
Relax. We can't show fear. I'm sure
it's just a guy, who wants to help,
who has, not shaved or bathed in a
while…
Dixon arrives at Sam and Alex.
JOHNNY DIXON
(Friendly.)
Hey, you guys look like you could
use a bit of help.
Johnny Dixon has a surfer-dude, hippy vibe to him.
ALEX
Yeah, our car is busted…
JOHNNY DIXON
Awe man. Bummer… Well, I have a
mechanic back at my compound. It's
right up the road a few miles. I
could give you guys a ride over and
send him back with a tow.
SAM
Umm, give us a second.
Sam pulls Alex aside. They turn away from Dixon for privacy.
SAM
He's gonna kill us.
ALEX
He doesn't seem too bad. He's
offering t help us.
SAM
Did he say compound!? I swear he
said compound.
ALEX
What's the big deal?
SAM
Evil cults have compounds!
Sam and Alex turn back around.
ALEX
Umm, where would we be going?
JOHNNY DIXON
My commune right up the road…
ALEX
Ohhhh, your commune. Yeah I guess
that's fine…
SAM
Hey, can we have another second or
so to talk this over?
Sam and Alex step away to huddle again.
SAM
(Whispering.)
You're not thinking of going with
this guy?
ALEX
He said commune not compound.
SAM
(Loud aggravated whisper!)
He fucking said compound!
ALEX
Look. I don't see any other
options. We've been out here for
over two hours and it's starting to
get dark.
JOHNNY DIXON
(Yells cheerfully.)
We're having a big festival
tonight!
SAM
If we die I'm going to murder you.
Alex looks at Sam confused for a second. Alex then turns
around to address Dixon.
ALEX
Yeah, let's do it! Thanks man.
INT. JOHNNY DIXON'S CAR (MOVING) - DAY
It's twilight. Sam and Alex are both in the back seat. Johnny
is driving.
SAM
Soooo what is this big festival
that you were talking about?
JOHNNY DIXON
(Enthusiastic.)
Full moon crop ceremony!
ALEX
What goes on at a full moon crop
ceremony?
JOHNNY DIXON
The usual… Drinking, dancing... Sex
and drugs!
Johnny Dixon then laughs like a maniac.
JOHNNY DIXON
I might sing and play my guitar.
Sam and Alex look at each other wide-eyed, a bit freaked out.
ALEX
Hey has anyone ever told you that
you look like…?
Before Alex can say "Buzzy Munson," Sam elbow's him very hard
in his side to stop him.
ALEX
…like, Macho Man Randy Savage…
JOHNNY DIXON
(Says like Macho Man.)
Ohhhhhhhh Yeaaaaaaah! I get that
all the time. All the time…
Sam facepalms.
ALEX
So, Randy, what's your real name?
JOHNNY DIXON
Dixon. Johnny Dixon.
SAM
You grow up around here?
JOHNNY DIXON
No, no. Funny you should ask.
FLASHBACK
INT. FANCY OFFICE - DAY
Johnny Dixon is in a large NYC office, with big windows and a
great view. He is dressed in a very nice suit, but his hair
and facial hair are still scraggly as it is in the present.
He's at his desk, on the phone being very animated.
JOHNNY DIXON (V.O.)
I was living in New York, had a
great job, was a very successful
contract lawyer. Helped broker
deals for all the biggest stars in
the entertainment industry!
JD, still on the phone, waives paper's in the air violently.
JOHNNY DIXON
No way! My client wont sign for
anything less than twenty million!
JD slams down the phone, hanging it up.
SERIES OF SHOTS
Johnny Dixon's voice-over below plays over the soundless
series of shots.
JOHNNY DIXON (V.O.)
I had a great woman. She was a
beautiful, successful shock jock
listened to by millions. Leslie
'the mouth.' 'The mouth' was her
nickname. She was number one in
afternoon drive. Boy could she dish
it out! Fans loved her, the city
loved her and most of all I loved
her. We couldn't have been any
happier and eventually we were
married, but after she became Mrs.
Dixon was when it all changed.
--LESLIE, an attractive young woman, about Johnny's age, is
behind a microphone in a radio studio talking.
--Leslie signs autographs for a group of fans.
--Johnny Dixon and Leslie walk in a park holding hands.
--Johnny and Leslie are dressed in a tuxedo and wedding dress
kissing in front of a priest.
Voice Over ends. Poof cloud sound and visual effect.
END FLASHBACK
BACK ON SCENE - INT. JOHNNY DIXON'S CAR (MOVING) - DAY
SAM
What happened?
JOHNNY DIXON
What happened was her entire
audience turned on her!
FLASHBACK
SERIES OF SHOTS
This series of shots coincides with the V.O. directly below.
--Quick view of Leslie in the studio.
--A close up of a fan's jaw mouthing in slow motion, "dick's
in the mouth'"
--Another fan in slow motion mouthing, "dick's in the mouth."
--On the street a fan walking by Leslie doing 'the blowjob
gesture.'
JOHNNY DIXON (V.O.)
All they did was call up and say
"Dixon the mouth. Hey Dixon the
mouth." All day "Dixon the mouth."
On the street "Dixon the mouth."
END FLASHBACK
BACK ON SCENE - INT. JOHNNY DIXON'S CAR (MOVING) - DAY
JOHNNY DIXON
People would mail her pictures of
her photoshopped with, you know...
ALEX
Dick's in the mouth!?
JD give a glare back at Alex and then continues.
FLASHBACK
SERIES OF SHOTS
This series of shots coincides with the V.O. directly below.
--Leslie is seen in her underwear and a T-shirt lying down on
a couch in a dark apartment looking depressed.
--Johnny in the same dark apartment in a white undershirt and
tidy whities hanging his head low depressed.
JOHNNY DIXON (V.O.)
She wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep...
and our sex life...
She definitely wouldn't blow me
anymore! Eventually it just came to
be too much for her, she, she...
END FLASHBACK
BACK ON SCENE - INT. JOHNNY DIXON'S CAR (MOVING) - DAY
SAM
Oh jeez, I'm so sorry. She killed
herself?
JOHNNY DIXON
No! No! She divorced me, and turned
lesbian! No more dicks in the mouth
for her. I was so broken up over
all of it that I moved out here.
The car approaches a side road.
JOHNNY DIXON
Our place is just up the road here.
EXT. JOHNNY DIXON'S CAR (MOVING) - DAY
The car pulls down a long creepy road with overgrown brush.
INT. JOHNNY DIXON'S CAR (MOVING) - DAY
Still daylight, but the sun is going down and not as bright
as it was.
ALEX
Holy crap! It reeks like weed here.
JOHNNY DIXON
You aren't cops, right?
SAM
No. No. No.
JOHNNY DIXON
Why should I believe you?
SAM
If we were cops wouldn't we have
just called the cops to give us a
ride?
ALEX
That's a really good point.
JOHNNY DIXON
It is! I trust you boys. So the
festival is actually for our weed
crops. Been a tough year and the
harvest has been lite. At this
point the only thing that could
save us is a higher power!
Dixon again laughs maniacal laugh.
JOHNNY DIXON
Get it, higher power! For the weed
crops. Higher, weed!? Get it?
When JD say's the second "get it" his head is fully turned
around towards Sam and Alex in the back seat. The car veers
off the road and starts to run over corn stalks or bushes.
JOHNNY DIXON
Whoa!
JD swiftly turns back around and rights the car.
JOHNNY DIXON
Don't matter. It's just corn. Only
hurts if you're running backwards!
Yet again laughs hysterically at his own joke.
JOHNNY DIXON
Any ways, we grow the best weed
you'll ever smoke!
Johnny Dixon opens the glove compartment and reaches in.
It's completely stuffed with weed. He passes a big loose
handful backwards to Alex.
JOHNNY DIXON
Here. Put this in your pocket.
Alex puts the handful of weed inside his inner coat pocket.
JOHNNY DIXON
Here we are.
The car stops. Dixon, Sam, Alex have arrived at the place.
Large scary gates open and the car drives in. There are
several buildings, but the car pulls up to the main one,
which is a two story country house. Night is about to fall.
INT. CULT MAIN HOUSE - NIGHT
Sam, Alex and JD walk in and there are a bunch of young
people hanging out in the dirty hippie house.
When they enter all eyes move to Sam and Alex. In all the
house seems to be inhabited by about twenty people, scattered
throughout.
SAM
(Whispers to Alex.)
I really don't have a good feeling
about this. Everyone is staring.
ALEX
Dude, relax.
JOHNNY DIXON
Hey Bob. Can you go on up the main
road and tow these boys car back
here. It's about twenty miles
north. Piece of shit! Cant miss it…
SAM
(Whispers again.)
Piece of shit? His car's shittier
than mine.
Johnny leads Sam and Alex to a quiet lounge room. Two women
are in the room hanging out already.
LOUNGE ROOM
JOHNNY DIXON
Holly, can you take ole Sammy here
and get him something for his eye…
One of the women, HOLLY, leads Sam away. Holly is in her mid
twenties, attractive.
JOHNNY DIXON
Sit, relax.
Johnny Dixon sits next to Alex.
JOHNNY DIXON
What brings you two out here?
Alex looks around for a moment not knowing what to say.
ALEX
We are actually on a quest for a
higher power ourselves! We're
headed to Jersey to get a magic
object to save our Grandpa!
JD strokes his beard.
JOHNNY DIXON
Yeah? Tell me more?
ALEX
You know the Arizona Johnson movie?
JOHNNY DIXON
Crucifix of Doom?
ALEX
No, the new one, Stone of Mars…
JOHNNY DIXON
Doesn't count, but regardless...
ALEX
Well any ways, it just so happens
that our estranged Grammy has one
of the stones so we are traveling
to New Jersey to find it!
Johnny Dixon strokes his chin.
JOHNNY DIXON
Interesting! But I thought the
stones were just made up for the
movie?
ALEX
Nope. I read an article and saw a
special on 'The Documentary
Channel' about them.
JOHNNY DIXON
(Enthusiastic.)
Whoa, so they must be real!
ALEX
That's what I said! Hey. Can you
tell me where the bathroom is?
JOHNNY DIXON
It's in the back hall there.
ALEX
Thanks.
Alex walks away towards the bathroom. JD waves for the other
woman, EMILY, to come over to him. Emily had headphones in
but removes them. Emily is an attractive, sexy, mid-twenties,
dressed more provocatively than Holly. JD whispers in her
ear.
JOHNNY DIXON
Go find the other one (Sam). Take
him upstairs and give him 'the
drink. Ask him the address of his
Grandma's house. It's important. He
should be with Holly right now.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Sam is standing with Holly. Holly hands Sam an eye-patch.
HOLLY
Here.
SAM
Um, I think Johnny meant something
more along the lines of an ointment
or ice-pack.
HOLLY
No. He meant an eye-patch.
SAM
(Skeptical.)
I'm not entirely certain he meant
eye patch…
Emily enters.
HOLLY
(Deadpan.)
100% certain he meant eye-patch.
EMILY
Hey, Sammy, right?
(Sexy.)
JD wanted me to give you a tour.
SAM
Oh. Okay.
Emily grabs Sam's hand and leads him upstairs.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
Alex is in the bathroom singing to himself, the same song
that he was dancing to earlier. Before peeing he is looking
in the bathroom mirror for a second.
TARA
Hey, who's up there?!
A voice is heard from below the floor. JANE and TARA are two
women who have been held captive by the cult.
They are mid/early twenties, hippyish, plain, but attractive,
and a bit dirty as a result of having been in the basement.
ALEX
Huh?
TARA
Yeah, down here!
Alex gets down on all fours and peers through a crack next to
the toilet in the old wooden floor. He is seen from a 'Fish
eye POV' perspective.
ALEX
Whoa! Is it like 'Goonies' down
there!?
JANE
(Says to Tara.)
He doesn't sound like one of them.
ALEX
One of who?
TARA
One of them! The crazies! You have
to get us out of here. We're in a
lot of danger!
ALEX
What are you talking about?
TARA
At the full moon ceremony tonight
they're going to kill us -- and
probably you too!
ALEX
Holy shit! Sammy was right!
(Serious/rambling.)
I thought that guy looked a little
off, but you know I recently made a
pledge to myself not to be so
judgmental of people because--
JANE
--Will you shut up and listen!
We're gonna die down here if we
don't do something.
ALEX
Okay. Don't worry. I'll get us out
of here. I promise…, but hey, I
still have to pee. Don't look…
Alex lifts up the toilet seat and unzips. He begins to pee.
JANE
Eww. Aim better. It's dripping down
here!
ALEX
Sorry...
JANE
(To Jane.)
I'm not that hopeful. He seems like
a moron.
Alex yells back down towards the crack before leaving.
ALEX
(Confident.)
Don't worry. I'm on it!
INT. LOUNGE ROOM - NIGHT
After exiting the bathroom Alex sits down with JD again.
Alex is visibly uncomfortable.
ALEX
Heeeeeey Johnnnnnny. Where's Sam?
JOHNNY DIXON
He went upstairs with Emily to, you
know, have a good time.
JD again laughs very creepily at his bad joke. There's an
awkward silence. Alex does not really know what to say.
ALEX
Hey, umm, you like Baseball?
JOHNNY DIXON
Hockey! I'm a big Hockey guy.
ALEX
The beard... Should've known.
JOHNNY DIXON
Actually beards seem to be growing
in popularity in all sports.
Another awkward silence. The awkward moment is broken by CULT
MAN ONE who approaches with a guitar.
CULT MAN ONE
Don't you have a new song you were
working on Johnny?
JOHNNY DIXON
(Very bashful.)
Yeah, well it's not completely
finished..
CULT MEMBER MAN ONE
That's never stopped you before.
JOHNNY DIXON
(To Alex.)
Honestly, I get nervous performing
in front, well, strangers…
ALEX
Hey! I Have a similar issue!
Alex smiles at Johnny who smiles back. It's a strange bonding
moment until Alex remembers that JD is a psycho cult leader.
ALEX
Don't worry. C'mon, get up there.
Alex nudges JD.
JOHNNY DIXON
Alright.
CULT MAN ONE
(Announcement to room.)
Hey everybody. Johnny's gonna sing
us a new song!
JD grabs the guitar and heads to the front of the room.
JOHNNY DIXON
Hey everyone! Things haven't been
great lately too much with the
crops, but that's all gonna change
tonight. That's what this song is
about.
JD begins to play the guitar and sing.
JOHNNY DIXON
We're gonna burn those girls as a
sacrifice, to help our weed crops
grow.... We might just eat'em
afterwards, if we're in that kinda
mood ya know....
(OR ADLIB)
Johnny continues singing. While JD and the other residents
are distracted Alex slips away and tries to find Sam.
INT. BEDROOM UPSTAIRS - NIGHT
Sam and Emily are in an upstairs bedroom. Sam sits in a chair
with the eyepatch on. Emily walks over to a drink dispenser
in the room. She fills a cup with a purple drink and
seductively walks over to Sam.
EMILY
Do you party?
SAM
(Cheerful/Naive.)
Well yeah I like to party! Who
doesn't?
Sam doesn't understand the drug reference. Emily puts the cup
in Sam's hand and then walks behind him to begin a massage.
Sam sniffs the drink.
EMILY
Drink up sweetie.
Emily pauses a second and pushes the bottom of the cup
skyward in an effort to force Sam to drink.
SAM
This is really good. What's in it?
EMILY
My special blend.
Sam drinks more.
EMILY
What a sexy eye patch…
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT
Alex is seen frantically knocking on and placing his ear to
each door in the long hall.
BEDROOM
The room is seen from Sam's POV, slightly spinning and
distorting psychedelically. Sam is tripping a bit.
SAM
(Slightly slurring.)
Whoa, that's some strong stuff.
EMILY
Tell me about your Grandma. Where
does she live?
Sam laugh hysterically for a moment. He rubs his eye patch
eye and slides the patch over his non-swollen eye, then
smiles like a buffoon.
SAM
New Jersey.
There is a knock on the door.
UPSTAIRS HALLWAY
Alex has his ear to the door.
ALEX
Sammy are you in there?
BEDROOM
EMILY
(Shouts.)
Go away! There's nobody in here.
(Not shouted - to Sam.)
Now tell me that address.
SAM
(Not shouted, to Emily.)
I think I heard Alex?
(Shouted.)
Marco!
Sam's POV is shown again and the intensity of his tripping is
increased.
EMILY
No Marco! Focus!
Emily slaps Sam in the face.
EMILY
What's the address?
UPSTAIRS HALLWAY
Alex begins banging furiously on the bedroom door.
ALEX
POLO! Sam are you in there!
BEDROOM
SAM
(Yelled.)
Marco!
Emily grabs Sam's chin and talks to him up close.
EMILY
Pay attention asshole! What is the
address...
Sam takes a piece of paper from his pocket and hand's it to
Emily.
SAM
Here. Grandma's here! Hahaha.
Emily stuffs the paper into her bra.
EMILY
Thank yoooooou…
Emily moves to open the door. Alex is about to break it down.
She opens it. He falls to the ground inside the room
slapstick style, then franticly gathers to his feet.
ALEX
I need to talk to my brother.
EMILY
You can have all the time you want.
Emily leaves satisfied.
SAM
Hey lady! Where you goin'?
ALEX
(Frantic still.)
Sammy we're in big trouble here.
SAM
(Dreamy.)
I love you bro.
Sam gets up from the chair and starts wandering the room,
touching everything, touching the walls, acting 'fucked up.'
ALEX
What's wrong? And why are you
wearing an eye patch?
Sam laughs a deep, dumb laugh.
ALEX
Sammy. Snap out of it!
Alex slaps Sam in the face.
SAM
That lady gave me a really good
drink.
ALEX
What drink!? Listen to me Sam. Tell
me what happened!?
SAM
I got a massage. I got a drink from
that machine, and it tasted like
purple.
ALEX
No Sam! You were right! They are a
cult! You drank the punch!?
Alex shakes Sam by the shoulder's.
ALEX
YOU DRAAAAAANK THE PUUUUUNNNCH!!!
You need to go to the bathroom to
throw up right now!
Sam is in a rolling chair and Alex grabs his arm to drag him
out of the room.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
Sam begins to flicker the light on and off.
HALLWAY OUTSIDE BATHRROM
Alex is pacing while waiting for Sam.
BATHROOM
SAM
(Mouth noise.)
WHOMP, WHOMP, WHOMP, WHOMP, WHOMP…
Tara and Jane are still captive in the space underneath.
TARA
Hey, get us out of here!
Sam stops flicking the light and appears ultra confused about
the voices.
SAM
Helllllllllloooooooo.
He looks around everywhere but down, bewildered.
TARA
Down here you idiot!
Sam gets on all fours to peer through that crack in the
floor. He is seen through a 'Fish Eye POV' as Alex was. When
we see from his POV he is tripped out a bit.
JANE
We need you to get us out of here!
SAM
Yeah… uh, huh huh huh…
The nature of Sam's laugh is like he doesn't even know what
he is laughing at.
JANE
(To Jane.)
This guy seems dumber than the
other one...
(To Sam slowly.)
Out - of - here! Do! You!
Understand! Get - out - of - here!
SAM
(Confused/slow.)
Get out of here?
JANE
Yes, get out of here! They're gonna
kill us at the full moon ceremony.
Sam looks very confused while trying to connect the dots.
SAM
Full moon? Get out of here?
JANE
(Enthusiastic.)
YEEEESSS. Full Moon!! Out of here!!
Sam looks out around and then out the window. Through the
window he see's the full moon.
SAM
('Animal Muppet' voice.)
FULL MOON! GET OUT OF HERE!
Sam climbs up onto the toilet, unlock the top-hinge window
and clumsily climbs out. The window closes behind him.
EXT. OUTSIDE BATHROOM WINDOW - NIGHT
Sam falls outside and ends up upsidedown leaning against the
house, with his neck on the ground and feet in the air.
INT. HALL OUTSIDE BATHROOM - NIGHT
Alex bangs on the bathroom door.
ALEX
Sammy. Hurry up! We have to get out
of here!
JD along with Emily come up behind Alex and grab him.
JOHNNY DIXON
Too late for that…
JD violently kicks in the bathroom door, exposing the empty
room.
JOHNNY DIXON
Where'd he go?
EXT. FIELD - NIGHT
Alex, Tara and Jane are tied to a post on a wooden platform.
Surrounding them in the ground are many torches. Johnny Dixon
and all the members of the cult are all outside too.
TARA
(Frantic.)
Why are they doing this?
ALEX
Do they need a reason? They are a
cult of lunatics lead by a Buzzy
Munson wannabe.
JANE
I heard one of them saying that
they think if they sacrifice us it
will help their crops grow.
ALEX
Now that I think of it, that
reminds me of a movie I've seen!
Alex looks as if he is thinking and then shouts...
ALEX
Not the bee's! Not the bee's!
TARA
What the hell are you talking
about?!
ALEX
This is just like in 'The Wicker
Man. The cult thought that making a
sacrifice would bring their crops
back!
Alex tilts his head upwards as if thinking again.
ALEX
If only I had a big bear costume...
DAYDREAM EXT. FIELD - DAY
The dream sequence is 'Wickerman inspired.' Tara and Jane are
tied up just the same as they are. Alex comes running from a
distance in a bear costume and punches four or five people
including Johnny Dixon then jumps on platform triumphantly.
BACK ON SCENE - EXT. FIELD - NIGHT
Alex, Jane and Tara are still tied up on the platform.
JANE
Can you be serious!
TARA
What happened in the movie? He
escaped right?
ALEX
No. They captured him are lit him
on fire!
JANE
You idiot!
TARA
(Shouting to JD.)
How is killing us going to bring
help you grow your weed?!
JOHNNY DIXON
It probably won't, but out here
with nothing really else to do we
get bored, so why the hell not?
JD laughs like a madman.
Focus on Johnny Dixon
JOHNNY DIXON
(Villainous.)
What may help the crops, though, is
that magical Mars Stone of yours.
When we drugged your dopey friend
we got him to give us Grammy's
address. After we get high and
torch you fucker's, the girls and I
are gonna take a little road trip!
ALEX
You bastard!
JOHNNY DIXON
When I get my hands on that stone
I'm gonna hold that shit up like
it's my Baby Simba!
Johnny Dixon cups his hands and holds them into the air
mimicking the gesture that Rafiki does in the Lion King of
holding Simba above his head. JD then starts chanting the
chant at the beginning of 'The Circle of Life.'
JOHNNY DIXON
Ingonyama nengw' enamabla, ingonyam
nengw' enamabla!
Focus Returns Back to the Platform
JANE
Mars Stone? What's he mean?
ALEX
You know. One of those stones from
the newest Arizona Johnson movie…
TARA
Crucifix of Doom?
ALEX
No! The new one. Stone of Mars!
TARA
We choose to ignore that movie is
even happening…
JANE
Never mind some stupid stone! Can
we get to the issue at hand? How
are we going to get out of this!?
JD grabs an unlit handheld torch and lights it off of one of
the standing torches. JD begins walking towards the platform.
Alex, Tara and Jane all look very scared!
TARA
Oh no! We're gonna die!
Just before JD reaches the platform to ignite some hay
underneath it, off in the distance the headlights from a
large piece of farm equipment turn on.
A closer look reveals the operator of the equipment is Sam.
Sam still has the eye-patch on and is still tripping.
During this sequence we hear Bonnie Tyler's 'I need a Hero'
to parody 'Footloose (84)' scene on the tractor.
SAM
Ahoy matey's!
There is a big commotion and the big farm vehicle that Sam is
driving is headed towards the cult's main house.
ALEX
(Shouts.)
Sammy! Come help us.
SAM
(Happy-go-lucky.)
Okay.
Johnny Dixon and the rest of the gang run towards the vehicle
to try to stop it. Sam jumps off the opposite side when he
see's them coming. The vehicle slowly continues.
ALEX
(Yells.)
Sam! Come here!
SAM
Who me?
JANE
Dammit!
Sam jumps up onto the platform.
ALEX
Untie us buddy.
Sam unties Alex, Tara and Jane.
Johnny Dixon tries to climb onto the farm vehicle, but is too
late. The vehicle crashes into the house.
Once loose Sam, Alex, Tara and Jane all run towards and into
a car they see in the driveway.
TARA
I hope you have the keys.
Alex pull's down the visor and keys drop out. He then breaks
4th Wall and looks at the camera out the window...
ALEX
(Cool tone.)
Just like in the movies...
JANE
Who are you talking to?
Dixon along with Holly and Emily get into a van creepy
looking van to chase them.
EXT. CAR (MOVING) - NIGHT
Sam, Alex, Tara and Jane race away from Johnny Dixon's van.
They first bust through the gate and down the road. Johnny is
able to keep up for a bit until through some fancy
maneuvering they are able to lose the van.
Take a look for Part 3. Upvote, Share, and Send Much Wow!