Malcolm and I were never saints. It was one of the reasons we got on so well together. We loved our drugs and sex. Bangkok was a paradise for us.
We had always been on the same wavelength. Back home we chased women together. We never had any problems because Malcolm had very different tastes in women to mine. He always attracted the short brunettes, and even the odd redhead, and I mean odd. Some of them were downright weird. But as long they joined in the fun they fit right in.
My taste ran towards tall, leggy blondes....wild women who liked to party.
Of course, in Thailand we were limited to the sexy brown girls that inhabited the bars in Patpong and Soi Cowboy. But that was ok too. Plenty of them liked to party, especially if the price was right.
But it was our love of hunting together that really drew Malcolm and I together. We loved the thrill of the hunt, the blood, the satisfaction of stalking a prey and bringing it down.
Killing Baker was not quite the same, but it was a new experience for us. Killing a man was much, much more exciting. At least, it was for me.
After we killed Baker I took Malcolm home to my place and poured us both stiff drinks. Then we sat out on the balcony where I rolled a thick joint, took a long toke and handed it to him.
We didn’t smoke often, but this was a special occasion. We both needed to relieve the stress. I even considered calling up a couple of hookers we liked to play foursomes with, but I decided to talk to Malcolm first. Right now, he needed to calm down and come to terms with what we had done.
“Jack, I feel terrible. I’m shaking. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. What am I going to do?”
“Look at it this way me old mate. We both killed him. You didn’t do it alone.
“Yes I did. I plunged my knife deep into his chest. How could I have done that so easily?”
“Remember those deer we used to hunt back home? We had to put them out of their misery. By killing Baker you just put Cousin Stanton out of his misery, that’s all. Actually, come to think of it, you put all three of us out of our misery, didn’t you? Think of all that lovely money we’re getting.”
He looked at me horrified, but I smiled and handed him a joint. He sucked hard. Even though he sank back into the lounge he still looked tense, so tense I could see it wouldn't take much to push him over the edge.
It was obviously time for stronger measures. I got up and walked into my bedroom and called a couple of Soi Cowboy hookers I know. They would be over within thirty minutes they said.
I grabbed my stash of Ecstasy and Viagra pills and rejoined Malcolm.
“Here mate, take one each of these. We need to chill. These will help.”
He didn’t even look at them, just shoved them into his mouth and washed them down with a large gulp from the whiskey bottle.
I rolled another joint and we sat back passing it between us, staring out at the city.
We must have drifted off into a stoned daze. It seemed like moments later that the doorbell rang. I got up to answer it.
The girls were standing there dressed in skimpy, sexy costumes. They were obviously ready to have some more fun with us. They squealed delightedly, swept into the room and out to the balcony chattering away in Thai, their laughter leaving a trail of tinkling joy.
We were still waiting for the pills to take effect so the girls had come well in time. I handed each an E pill. They gulped it down and took deep tokes on the joint I handed them. These girls knew what to do.
I leaned in through the door, flicked the switch to turn on our favorite music and turned up the volume. It was time to party!
The rest of the night was a hoot. I don't remember what time the girls left. All I know is that they were gone by daybreak. They had to get some sleep before heading back to their bar again around midday. I wouldn’t want to be the punter that paid their bar fine.
The next few days were a blur. Malcolm and I partied every night, blotting out the thought of what we had done to Baker.
I remember Malcolm and I took at taxi to the Oriental one night to pick up the money my cousin had promised us. He was as good as his word.
We didn’t ask what had happened to the body. I knew Cousin Stanton had the connections to make a body disappear easily. Better not to ask.
Even though we had enough money to stop working we tried to maintain a normal life....well, as normal as life gets in Bangkok! We didn't want to arouse any suspicion.
We went to work each day. But our minds were hardly on our jobs.
Despite all the fun we were still having after work, I was worried about Malcolm. It was obvious he couldn’t get his mind off what we had done. He would come over to my place after work looking sullen and morose. He was having a hard time holding things together.
One night he arrived looking worse than usual. “Jack, I can’t take this anymore. I feel terrible all the time. I keep having nightmares about Baker. Last night he wouldn’t die no matter how many times I stabbed him. He just kept laughing at us, his big eyes behind those Coke-bottle glasses of his staring at me crazily."
He leaned over, put his head in his hands and cried, "I can’t take it, I can’t take it….”
I poured him a real stiff drink, got him stoned, and called the girls over to take his mind off it. But the relief was only temporary.
As the days slid by Malcolm got worse. I plied him with pills, booze, grass, anything to get him to calm down. Sometimes I called the girls too.
We partied. But it was no use. I could see him disintegrating before my eyes.
Finally, I decided it was time to take action.
I talked to my boss and asked for a couple of weeks off. I was going to take Malcolm away on a holiday somewhere.
He needed to go somewhere he wouldn’t be reminded of our crime every time he turned around. Maybe a holiday would help him pull his life back together.
I booked a trip down to Koh Chang, a large island off the south eastern edge of Thailand near the Cambodian border. We'd been there before and Malcolm had said it was his favorite place to unwind.
I told Malcolm to take off two weeks from work. He didn’t want to go at first, but when I showed him the tickets and explained where we were going he agreed.
We were set.
I’d booked us into a small resort near the southern end of the island because it is quieter down there. At this time of the year there wouldn’t be many tourists around and we would have the quiet and solitude we needed to get our heads back together.
The trip down in the resort van from Bangkok took about three hours. By the time we caught the ferry across to the island and motored down to the resort it was late afternoon.
I’d brought a good stash of booze, smoke and pills. We were going to enjoy our holiday.
We dumped our bags in adjacent rooms at the resort and headed for the beach where I lit up a fat joint of the best Thai ganga.
We sat the rest of the afternoon and watched the sun set over the ocean. I was feeling good...relaxed. Not a worry in the world.
I thought Malcolm had calmed down too. But that night after dinner on the resort terrace he came to my room and sat in the lounge chair looking morose again.
“What’s wrong, mate? Don’t you like this place.”
“Don’t patronize me, you bastard.” He shouted. “You know what’s eating me...what’s been eating me all along.”
I tried to calm him down and dull his brain with another joint and a large whiskey, but he pushed them away.
“I can’t do this any more Jack. I have to do something.”
“What do you have in mind Mal? Going to the police perhaps? Killing yourself? Come on! It’s over. Nothing will ever undo what we did. You got your money and your life back. It was a fair exchange. Now you have to learn to live with it. If you don’t you are going to put us all in danger.”
“I know. I know. But no matter how hard I try I can’t live with the guilt Jack. When we get back to Bangkok I am going to the police and turn myself in.”
“Get a grip on yourself man. Think about us too. If you go to the police what do you think will happen to Stanton and me? You will drag us down with you.” I shouted, getting angry with him.
Then I calmed down. There was no point spooking him even more. I might even push him over the edge and send him flying back to Bangkok without me.
“Calm down mate. We killed Baker. So what?” I said quietly, “We’ve killed plenty of other things before. This thing just happened to be a man. That’s all!”
He looked at me and then broke down sobbing, his hands covering his face. “I can’t, I can’t, Jack. I can’t take it anymore.”
I sat down opposite him and stared at him, fear, hatred, and worry swirling around my head. Fear that Mal might actually do what he had just threatened. Hating the position he was putting me in. Worry that I may have to take extreme measures if he didn't pull himself together.
The next few days slid by in a drug induced haze. I tried keeping us both so stoned and so numb that Mal would finally snap out of his funk and get on with his life.
It was no use though. He wasn't getting any better.
Looking at him across the dinner table a week after we had arrived it was obvious we were in trouble. I was coming to the very uneasy conclusion that I had been trying to avoid.
Mal wasn't snapping out of it. In fact, he was getting worse. I could see him breaking down right before my eyes. He looked haggard. His eyes were wild sometimes, other times he looked like a scared rabbit caught in the headlights or an oncoming car. He was irrational, saying crazy things. He clearly wasn’t in his right mind any more. He was becoming a clear danger to Stanton and me.
I didn’t like what I was thinking. We’d been friends for so long he was like a brother to me. But at the end of the day what choice would I have?
Couldn’t he see what he was doing? He was putting me into the exact same position cousin Stanton had been in with Baker. But I couldn’t say this to him. If he forced my hand I didn’t want him forewarned. He wasn't thinking straight.
Declaring that he was going to go to the cops was a stupid thing to say.
I didn’t know how to snap him out of it. He would have to work it out for himself.
I hoped he would. But right now he was too self-absorbed to think beyond himself. I went to bed that night very worried.
We would be returning to Bangkok in a few days. If Malcolm didn’t snap out of it I didn’t want to think about what would have to be done.
It all came to a head the next day.
We were sitting on the veranda in front of my cabin. The joint I passed to him wasn't calming him down. In fact, he got more agitated. I watched him as he sat there sobbing, mumbling that he couldn’t take it anymore. He was like a broken record, repeating himself over and over.
I shook my head in frustration.
Oh God, I prayed, don’t let it come to this. Please let him see what he’s doing so that he comes to terms with it and we can get on with our lives.
I stood up and walked over to where he was sitting. I bent down, grabbed both his shoulders, shaking him roughly.
“Stop this Mal. Get a grip! You can’t go on like this. You’ve got to be strong.”
He peered up at me, shook himself. Would he understand and pull himself together?
He stared into my eyes, sadness etched deep in his soul. But at least he appeared to calm down.
I sat down again, hoping he had come to his senses at last.
It was no use, though. A few minutes later he began sobbing and mumbling again.
I couldn’t take any more. “Go to bed Mal. Have a good night’s sleep. I want you to think about the danger you are putting all of us into if you don’t snap out of this guilt trip. It’s time to get over it!”
He nodded, stood up, and stumbled inside. I heard him fall hard onto the bed.
Then silence.
I walked down to the beach where I sat watching the small waves break over the rocks and sand.
Normally, the night sounds, the waves, the solitude acted like a balm on the soul. But not tonight There was no salvation there.
After a while I went to bed too. There was nothing more I could do. It was up to Malcolm.
Next morning at breakfast I was halfway through my bacon and eggs when Malcolm appeared. I watched as he entered the breakfast room and weaved his way between the tables towards me.
If anything, he looked worse than ever. He slumped into a chair opposite me. His eyes were bloodshot, he was unshaven, hair a mess. He looked terrible.
I shook my head in sadness. I had hoped he would realize where he was headed if he didn’t change his ideas.
I put on a brave smile. “I hope you had a good sleep mate. Feeling better today?”
He scowled across at me.
"Shut up you bastard!" he sneered. "It's all your fault."
I knew then he wasn't going to snap out of it. I had no choice. I would have to kill him.
“Why don’t we get out today for a hike up in the mountains behind us? You need something to take your mind off everything. A good hike is just the ticket.”
He nodded listlessly.
“Right. Let’s go right after breakfast before it gets too hot. And make sure you wear your hiking boots. They tell me there are leeches up there.”
I got up, leaving him at the breakfast table to pick listlessly at his food as I went back to the cabin to get ready.
I packed a small backpack, making sure I put in my favorite hunting knife...just in case.
Then I went next door to Malcolm’s cabin and packed a backpack for him, leaving out his own hunting knife, however. No need to put temptation in his way.
I sauntered casually back over to the breakfast room. Mal was still sitting there staring morosely out the window, not even seeing the beautiful view of the ocean sweeping in to the golden sand beach fringed with coconut trees, gay umbrellas shading orderly rows of deck chairs, ready for the tourists.
“Here’s your gear mate. Just put your boots on and let’s go!” I said as brightly as I could. I handed him his gear.
We left five minutes later and hiked up a small track.
The mountains on the island were formed by volcanic activity millions of years ago. They were honeycombed with deep crevasses, caves, and steep cliffs. There would be plenty of places where Malcolm could have an accident. I followed behind him so that I could be ready when we came across an ideal place for the deed.
We labored up the track, stopping at a small waterfall after about thirty minutes hard climbing. We were high enough now to see almost the entire western coastline of the island. The view through the trees was breathtaking.
I sipped the cool water tumbling into a small pool and then filled up our water bottles. I handed one to Malcolm. We continued upwards.
An hour later we were nearing the top of the mountain. The trail had got progressively more difficult to follow. In some places it disappeared altogether. It was obvious no one had been up here for a long time. Good. It would be a long time before anyone found Malcolm's body. All I needed now was to find somewhere I could put the knife in before he realized what was up.
But before it came to that I wanted to try one last time to snap Mal out of his blue funk. This was the ideal place to appeal to his good sense.
Taking a quick breather I turned around and looked out at the view again. The ocean sparkled below. I called to Malcolm who had gone on ahead. “Take a look at the view mate. It’s fabulous!”
He stopped and turned around, but stayed where he was. I walked up towards him.
“Let’s sit over here a minute Mal," I said, pointing to a large flat rock. "I want to talk to you.”
He sat down, looking up at me expectantly.
I looked at him carefully. He looked calmer and more collected than he had for weeks. Perhaps this hike had been just what he needed; time to think without any distractions. I hoped he had changed his mind.
I stood in front of him, not wanting to sit down just yet. I knew my legs might cramp up if I rested. I needed to be ready to take the first opportunity to do what needed to be done, if it came to it.
“What’s on your mind, Mal?”
“I’ve been thinking about what a twat I’ve been and I want to apologize. You are right. Going to the police won’t help. I have to come to terms with what we did. I’m sorry Jack. I have accepted what we did. It was necessary. It's done. It’s time to put it aside and move on.”
I looked at him relieved. After all these years as best friends deciding to kill him to save Stanton and me had been the hardest decision I had ever made. He’d just absolved me from the problem. I went over, pulled him up and gave him a big hug.
“Thank god mate. You know you would have put Stanton and me in a big bind if you had gone to the cops. Welcome back mate.”
He sagged in relief against me and we stood there for a long minute just hugging each other.
He broke away and said, “Well, come on mate. We’ve got a mountain to conquer. Let’s get moving again.”
We got back on the trail and started the final ascent.
Just before the top we came to a large cave with a narrow entrance. Malcolm stopped and peered in. “What’s that shining in the back there?” he asked.
I looked in but couldn’t see anything. “Where? I can’t see anything.”
“Right there in the back. I'm sure I saw something flash. Do you think it might be hidden treasure?”
Malcolm had obviously been listening to too many stories from the locals. They claimed that the Japanese had buried a vast treasure somewhere in these mountains during World War Two.
“Yeah, right! Why don’t you go in and see? I’ll wait out here if you don’t mind. I need a drink and a rest anyway.”
He smiled and ducked into the cave through the small opening.
I sat on a rock looking out over the trees towards the ocean below. The jungle noises around me were soothing to the soul. It was a beautiful day. There were even butterflies flitting around the tropical flowers up in the tops of the trees. I sighed in contentment.
I was so relieved that Malcolm had just saved me from having to kill him...my best friend.
Or had he? Was that smile of his just a little too friendly? Was it real? Was he sincere? I hated the questions. Why couldn't I just believe him?
I turned around at a slight noise behind me. It was Malcolm staggering out of the mouth of the cave.
He was bent over.
It looked like he was reaching for something hidden in his socks. I had a fleeting thought that perhaps he was reaching for a knife or a gun. I jumped up in alarm, my hand reaching into my backpack to find my knife.
He kept moving towards me.
Then he staggered and fell.
“Snake!” he managed to sigh just before he sank to the ground where he lay shivering for a few moments before becoming very still.
I knelt down beside him feeling for a pulse. There was none.