As a kid, I remember my Mom teaching me how to say the Lord’s prayer. I memorized it, and for years, I thought that sort of regimented style of prayer — automatic, almost — was what “prayer” was.
I can’t remember when things changed for me... as a teenager I left the church because of hipocrisy in the leadership, and though I still believed in God, I did try on other faiths for size... but when I returned to the church in 2011-2012, I largely abandoned the rote praying of my childhood and began to have one-sided conversations with the big G-man. Our new pastor was all about the personal relationship with Christ. So I’d start out “Dear God,” as if I were dictating a letter, and pour out everything that was bugging me, every worry, and thanking Him for good things that happened. In the beginning I didn’t hear much in return, but it didn’t take long to begin noticing how “coincidences” would happen more frequently, or random strangers would walk up and voice a response to the very thing I’d prayed about at home three hours earlier. If I didn’t believe, it would be spooky.
Around the end of 2012, I got asked to join my church’s worship team. For years, I had made snarky cracks about “Jesus bands” and vowed I’d never be involved in one. I think God snickers to Himself when we make statements like that, I certainly felt His good-natured “I got you!” laughter the day I agreed. And I quickly found that worship sat very well with me — there is something special about using the unique talents and gifts He gave you, and offering them back to Him. I found that my musical abilities took a major jump, and I found that during worship I could DO things — like finding harmonies on the fly or improvving descants — that I couldn’t do otherwise. And that’s when things got interesting.
The more I played for God, the more He answered. I’d sing to Him, and He’d sing right back. Over the following years, this has led to me following the call and ministering to others with specific songs for their situation in eerily accurate ways, to seeing visions when I play, to hearing angelic choirs, to unlocking people’s stored up (re: repressed) emotions with a song... and then watching as He brought healing to wounded hearts. To feeling Him bring healing to my own wounded heart.
As I have walked this journey, from playing music for my newborn son’s funeral in 2013, to opening with our church band for Esterlyn at a concert, to quitting music in 2016 after being told my worship was not welcome in a Christian hospital, to being nudged continually by the Holy Spirit to pick it up again and return to my Celtic roots in 2018... one thing has stood out to me: that prayer IS that personal, individual communication with our God. HE is the Creator... and we are as unique as ice crystals. For me, I think in music. Spoken words have always been a struggle for me — I don’t think on the fly very well and my talking points can get twisted around and lost on tangents... but MUSIC... I can open my heart and what comes out is Right.
And that’s what a personal relationship is all about: your heart, speaking to their heart, and being understood.
Do you struggle with prayer?
What has God gifted you with?
How can you use your gifts as a prayer, as heart-centered expression?
Have you experienced Divine healing as a result of pursuing your gift?
Blessings on this Tuesday. 💕
(Mirrored on Weku)
