I'm upvoting this 2 days after it was posted, as I didn't see it before. I don't know would it be of any use, but I find your post worth to vote!
I enjoyed reading it all the way through! And I smiled, laughed and smiled...

P.S.
Regarding 30 open tabs at once (I would add - at least) - you are 100% my kind of girl. :D
Welcome to Steemit! :)