For a long time, Neil Young was one of the names that kept popping up, especially in the music scene I am part of, but I never bothered to really take a look. The only songs I've known for a long time were 'Needle and the Damage Done' and 'Heart of Gold' as an obvious classic. And I liked those very much, but again. There was so much to see and time would come for me and Neil.
It was only at the end of 2015 when it struck me. We had played a show in Slovenia on a festival our label organized. It was my former band Vlasta Popić and the Macedonian post-punks Bernay's Propaganda. It was 5 in the morning and we were pretty wasted when my friend Vasko the Macedonian, the legend of regional scene, put on 'After the Gold Rush'. I still remember the dim lights and the tired feeling in my body when this song came.
"Tell me why, tell me why
Is it hard to make arrangements with yourself
When you're old enough to repay
but young enough to sell?"
Vasko was singing these lines, and being older than me and considering what he's gone through, he sang it as if he understood it. And I didn't. I felt the beauty and the wonder, and I couldn't grasp it. But I believed him. And to this day I have no clue what these lines mean but it feels profound. I will either realize at some point, or I was never even supposed to. I'm ok with both.