Do you want to write songs that people can "relate to?"
I don't.
Writing from a mindset of being relatable is the best way to make a horrible song that no one wants to listen to. It is far better to establish a connection with your listener.
What's the difference between relating and connecting?
When a writer aims to compose song lyrics that he or she believes other people will relate to, that composition becomes empty. This mindset leads to lyrics such as:
"I've worked hard all week long, now I'm going to the bar with you baby, ooh ooh you baby, and we're in our blue jeans, and we're gonna party all night baby, and I'm gonna drink a beer with my whiskey and smoke a cigar"
I hear songs on the radio that make me cringe. The lyricist is obviously clawing for my attention. My attention is desired so strongly that the writer betrays his or her own unique perspective in a desperate gambit to write something he or she thinks I might relate to.
This is a lie. This is transparent. It is untruthful, and it causes me to shut down as a listener.
Truth is the highest aim in writing
When one tries to write lyrics people can relate to, one is being fundamentally untruthful.
When one tells their truth, even when they fear that their truth may not be received well by listeners, they establish connection.
When I get the sense that a writer is telling me his or her truth, I listen.
When I first heard Stevie Nicks sing "Landslide" I almost stopped my car to give my full attention to the song, even though I am not a middle-aged woman.
When I first heard Eminem rap "Cleaning Out My Closet" I was speechless.
Let me be clear - there is absolutely nothing I can relate to with Eminem.
Yet, when I listen to his rap I feel a connection with this human so strong that I feel he is confiding in me. He is telling his truth bravely, allowing himself to be vulnerable in the face of grand criticism. He raps about his poor relationship with his parents and how he plans to protect his daughter from the pain that his own parents put him through. Most people will not ever relate to Eminem's extreme past, but I sure do respect a human being going through the human condition in a difficult way.
"Ha! I got some skeletons in my closet
And I don't know if no one knows it
So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it
I'ma expose it, I'll take you back to '73
Before I ever had a multi-platinum selling CD
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months
My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch
'Cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye
No I don't. On second thought I just fucking wished he would die
I look at Hailie, and I couldn't picture leaving her side
Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try
To make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake
I maybe made some mistakes
But I'm only human, but I'm man enough to face them today
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb
But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun
'Cause I'da killed him, shit I would've shot Kim and him both
It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Eminem Show"
Our words construct our experience
The words we choose are powerful. We construct, interpret, and guide our experience with the words we choose to apply to that experience.
If you want to write songs that feel like a an elephant trying to fit through a doggy-door, try being relatable.
If you want to write songs that mean something, that say something, establish a connection by speaking your truth.
I can't speak for everyone, but It's the only way I will want to listen to you.
This is an original post by @CosmicVibration for Steemit on 13 February 2018