I have been battling depression since a kid,
have been an "leftout", loner, outsider my whole life.
Paranoid schizophernia did not made it any easier on me since 12 years.
i'm not completely broken, and i slowly recover and get off meds at a slow pace.
While creating music with lyrics i want to be authentic me,
and there is not much to write about than a broken life,
broken love, and the walls i sit in and produce and record music.
My vocal songs are about me and my experiences in life.
I strive to create a worthwile peace of art.
i can't sing much , thats why its stylized on heavy autotune.
If i get any funds i will get a vocal cabinet
where i will be able to practice vocals without disturbing everyone.
living in an apartment doesn't allow me to practice vocals at all.
And i need tons of practice to get better tbh.
my whole vocal album is heavily inspired by lil peep,
i did start my journey with vocals solely because of his song "lil peep x lil tracy - backseat."
thank you for listening.
vocals: zajman
production, mix, mastering, visuals: zajman
Lyrics:
i'm lonely waiting forever
but the rain is not gonna come for sure
i would rather not think
but my left out brain is producing thoughts i can't endure
even my legs are shaking like crazy
when i try to stop thinking all the time of you
i was always thinking we were forever
but you did what you had to do.
lonely as ... i try to ducktape my thoughts
but theres not cure for the state of such
the soothing rain doesn't wanna come
and i hate the sunny weather so ... much
my skin is pale like death itself
and even tho i despise my life
my eyes still spark some guts and if you had a gun
i would gladly take one shot from behind
i'm lonely waiting forever
but the rain is not gonna come for sure
i would rather not think
but my left out brain is producing thoughts i can't endure
even my legs are shaking like crazy
when i try to stop thinking all the time of you
i was always thinking we were forever
but you did what you had to do.