You're an amazing woman. Your ability to get so many things done is wonderful. Feel some pride in yourself. You've earned it. There is light in the void. It starts with shades of ultraviolent shifting. Overtime it become brighter . Then you suddenly realize that light in the void is your very presents there . You have to to created the light in the void yourself. It is your very own life spark. Muich love dearheart. Don't give up. Randy