I actually wrote this for a magazine several years ago but it went bust and so never got published. As it is pretty funny (in my opinion anyhow :P) I thought I would put it up.
It was 3.30pm Saturday and I was in bed, wrapped round my girlfriend in a state of post-coital bliss. The phone rang. I hoped it would go away. It rang more.
Aren't you going to get that?
Meeeehhhhhh!
Part growl, part resignation and clumsily grabbing the handset. It was James, a magazine editor.
I want you to go to a gig tonite in Akihabara. Starts at 6.
6 !!! GET REAL !!! it's 3.30 now and I'm in bed !!!
I wasn't asking I was telling.
Fuck You !!!
No, Fuck YOU!!
The “fuck yous” continued for the next 5 minutes. I was fired at least twice. The asshole is doing this because he knows that I have been spending my weekends in bed with his ex. Some people get really pissy over that sort of thing.
Been to a gig in Akihabara before? No, neither had I. We are talking geek-town here, bad haircuts, back-packs and cum-stained blue jeans, not somewhere you'd go see a band play. Well the place wasn't on the main drag it was over the Asakusabashi side, next to a guitar shop. Now I come to think about it sort of makes sense. Last time I was round here was to get some CDs pressed. Guess this must be the musicky part of geek-town.
Club Goodman sort of reminds me of the 100 Club in London. Pretty cool place. The biggest differences are that the equipment would shame major venues in London, people don't steal your beer, you can touch surfaces without the fear of catching something and there aren't couples screwing in puke covered toilets. Would go see some unknowns here on spec. Little things .
I was supposed to be meeting some guy called Kazuto and doing an interview, but I was like, 45 minutes late. There was a band playing I strolled in thinking it must be them ....nope. I'd done a bit of research on the net and sort of knew what they looked and sounded like. I spotted the drummer in the crowd, but wasn't 100% sure because this guy had clothes on and the drummer plays naked. It's true what they say, clothes make a man. After about 15 minutes of drinking beer I decided it definitely was, mostly due to the fauxhawk.
Are you Kazuto?
No, I'll get him ......
Ok ....so that 10 minutes of research wasn't quite enough.
Drummer – Check.
Name – Booooooooooooo
Backstage and the dressing rooms are pretty easy to get to. Head towards the toilets and hit a fast left. Aki the guitarist/singer is polishing the neck of his flying V. ---- the drummer is perched on a stool a little uncomfortable and shy (shy!!?? doesn't the drummer play naked? Not really a shy trait. ed.) Kazuto, The BASS player is slouched against the cosmetics counter noisy and friendly. Their Japanese manager is mostly watching, letting the band speak. Spoke to him later after the gig.
The band are more famous abroad, Europe mostly, spent time in Holland and London. Not one of the coolest parts of London, Mile End, a shit-hole as I remember it and Judging from Aki's face it hasn't changed much. A wilderness of towerblocks, dog shit and racism shockingly close to the financial district. They skipped round that subject. :) Past year they have been recording an album in Okinawa, the tropical islands to the far south. Guess if you are going to do serious stuff, a sunshiny place is better than the winter of Tokyo. Aki was was enthusiastic about the project but had an air of tiredness. Kazuto was making bouncy interjections the whole time. The good thing about this band was they weren't assholes or pre-madonnas.
Last time I interviewed a band was backstage at the Fuji Rock Festival, the Kaiser Chiefs, a prize bunch of tossers. So far up their own asses they could have licked their own tonsils. The most interesting person in their entourage was one of the girlfriends, a dentist, no really, sigh.
Eel shock would never be outshone by dentists. Their stage act put them my top 5 live bands, and I'm not a metal fan. Even if you don't like this type of music I would recommend going. They are one of the few bands who actually treat the audience as part of the overall performance. Everyone seems to feel like they are part of the gang. They do all the heavy metal cliches but they do them well. It's not painful. Even the naked ------ with the extra long white sock covering his genetallia, playing it like a stand-up bass seems to fit. Good thing is all the band take part. You don't miss out because you are not standing next to the interesting one. And .....yeah it was worth getting out of bed for. *)