Intro
Being worth more as a person, can mean 2 things:
- having the right* values (for example integrity, punctuality, positive vibes) which can earn you respect
- having the right* skills (for example writing, programming, public speaking) which can earn you money
Note: the word right is absolutely subjective, more so in the case of skills. Obviously there are human values that should be universal. As for skills, it's absolutely individual and is dictated by your personal strengths, preferences and
probably your age and environment.
Even though there is considerable intersection between the above, in this post we will focus mostly on the latter, mentioning every a while the former because sometimes you simply can't have the right skills without the foundational building blocks of the right values.
Defines
- Giving is receiving from the opposite perspective:
when you give, someone else is actually receiving; when someone else is giving, others and among them you, are receiving. - Whatever you give away or receive, is something that is valuable to someone (a consumer: a reader, a watcher, a buyer).
- Money is value in raw form. Thus it can be exchanged for anything that is of value to the "money-owner".
- Something that is valuable to someone, is also called value, not to be confused with the spiritual (=non material) values (like integrity for example) that we mentioned in the intro.
- The throughput of your total waking time and the activities you fill it with, is the sum total of your potential value offered to the world. In other words, whatever you fill your time with, is the value you create and hopefully give out - receiving in return other people's respect, affection and of course, money.
If you are not creating enough value or not giving away enough of what you have to offer, you are restraining other people's respect and money from coming to you.
This is an excellent explanation why most people do no have enough money. They simply are not giving enough personalized value that can not be easily replaced by some other dude or dudess.
Finding the way
Whether if:
you have no clue
- you have no idea of what your real value is and you work at some random job that gives you some raw value (money) in return for the work power you give the employer.
or
you do have a clue - you are on it
- or let's say you do know that your value lies in dancing, or singing, or programming, or writing, or whatever - you are an amazing [whatever]-er, but you do not know how to make yourself worth more in that area.
So instead of giving away your real value (say singing), you give away your hours at a random job to a random employer that pays you accordingly. (a random, insufficient amount of respect and money)
you still have to go through a period of time which has a fair ammount of uncertainty and experimentation in it.
And the more you avoid it, the more you procrastinate - the less likely you are to become an inspiration - the more likely you are to miss the train you so badly want to get on and spend the rest of your life regretting that you lacked the proverbial balls to make a move - in fact any move...
It is infinitely better to simply get started in what feels to be the right direction:
- initiating active moves
- making things happen
- getting to know cool like-minded people
- exposing your mind to ideas that ignite your imagination and your creativity - rather than being a passive loser that will eventually make it into the statistics of those "that lived a life of quiet desperation":
This is one of the reasons why it is important not to be lost for too long in working for money only, because in that case you are donating your time or rather sacrificing it for money, while training yourself to be silent and unproud of your daily activities.
And all that for the sake of a cause that might not even interest you or even worse: that doesn't not build you any valuable skill set or a character trait you need, while it pushes you deeper into a life of quiet desperation.
A good rule of thumb for the right job is a combination of:
- a sense of enjoyment
- fulfillment and
- the realization that you would gladly do it even without pay.
"Work = Fun" is a great perspective to live with, taking into account that fun = challenge, growth, fulfillment, enjoyment, and satisfaction. Actually, Warren Buffet is known for condemning the phenomenon of taking jobs that you don't like for the sake of advancing in a carrier and "securing" a position.
And the worst thing about being a slave to money?
The more time you spend doing something that is not your thing, the more accustomed you become to it - and as your soul dies slowly inside, you become more and more uninspired, the paralyzing burden of keeping your real value to yourself, becomes a burden you can hardly bear to carry on.
That's actually one of the best ways of getting a long-lasting, ever deepening depression, and in the long run, probably some "juicy" antidepressants that pharmaceutical companies sell at the expense of those that were unaware for too long, which obviously can not really cure anyone (generally speaking, 99.9% of the pharma shit, is either a mask or a symptom-depressant of a long neglected problem - never a solution.
(sorry if I sound to depressing LOL 😂, I learned it the hard way that pain is a great motivator)
Thus burdened with ungiven value, you begin dumping it on the way.
Frustrated by your inability to actually make your supposed value, valuable enough to sustain even a measly existence, plus the painful realization that time passes while you are not "making it", becomes a pessimistic, self fulfilling prophecy - the more you indulge in it, the more you believe it - that "apparently", you are not good enough at what seemed to be your main thing; that you are not good enough, that you suck. For, otherwise you would long be doing something valuable with your gifts and your life, right?
So maybe "the good life" is not for you after all...
Luckily though, in actuality, that's bullshit.
Similar to as Hamlet put it:
nothing is for you or not for you. Nothing IS or is NOT - your thinking, attitude, environment and subsequent actions make them so. More on that later
So back to the case when you do have a clue. You rock at singing, but you are not yet a singer, or at least not a successful one.
In this case, singing is your potential, unfulfilled value that unfortunately might become lost in case you die without having, or should I say, seeking out or creating a proper opportunity to actually give it away.
Or maybe you are frightened by the potential challenges, the uncertainty, other people's criticism, or your own lack of self-confidence?
Or maybe you are afraid to really start giving it away because you don't know to whom, or how - how to make the transition, will it even work out?
The answer is - nobody knows, and nobody cares, but you.
The thing is, that similar to what Steve Jobs said about customers, people do not know what they like or what they are missing out, until you show it to them and help them realize they like it or want it:
(credit for the image: http://nomorestartupmyths.com/customers-dont-know-want-fact-fiction/)
The funny thing is, even you yourself don't know what you really like or want, unless you go out and try applying it n the real world. You gotta figure out what are the steps and the activities involved, in order to make an educated decision whether something is really your thing or not.
This basically means that, no one can really tell you what you are worth or whether something will work out for you, or not - you will have to put yourself through the experience of testing your skills, your character and your values before you can really know whether it is a good idea to transition to it, how much do people like it, or even, how much you yourself enjoy doing it - or not.
You might be surprised to realize that:
- people are crazy about your value - all you have to do, is just go out and give more of it to more people
- people love it, but you hate it - in your fantasy things seem perfect, in reality, you realize that something you thought was "it", brings you no lasting joy.
- people like it, but it's going to be hard to reach the point where you earn enough respect & money - are you willing to go through the shit and stick to it until things click and go smooth?
- You enjoy it, people don't give a f*ck. Are they the right people (audience)? You will have to experiment and figure it out.
- etc. etc. etc.
A story from my personal life
Let me tell you a true story about myself.
I once was sure I was going to be an electronic music artist, a dj, a party monster. I enjoyed immensely creating psychedelic electronic music - I was ecstatic about the process. I could work day in and day out, minimum food, minimum sleep.
I even called myself Insomnia. I was an autodidact scouring forums, sites, youtube videos - I was going nuts!
It felt like "I found my true vocation!". I invested almost all the money I earned in sound equipment, professional headphones for 500$, Studio monitors for 4000$, a mic for 600$ until had a decent studio worth around 10,000$.
I was very dedicated and spent countless hours on every track. Made a bunch of them. However, I forgot to go out into the real world and actually offer my value to people. There was no soundcloud or musicoin back then, and the most efficient way to offer my value was to push myself into a lineup at any club/party that would agree to feature an enthusiastic newbie and start rolling.
However, this is what I realized:
- I hated going to noisy clubs and did not want to even try to get myself on a playing list.
- I realized I enjoyed the process of creating music, but had no desire whatsoever to become a party surfer and go "perform" at crazy hours in crazy places in front of stoned guys & gals.
It was not exactly in the list of my passions or values. I just enjoyed creating electronic music and fantasizing about something that I was not willing to go through because of various reasons (some of which I'm beginning to understand only now, almost 10 years later!)
After lengthy hesitation (even took up some courses), I came to the same conclusion several times - that being a DJ is not part of what I had subscribed for. I just wanted to make music at certain periods. Back then, I did not how to make that desire worthy enough to make a living, so I sold away all of my equipment and altogether dumped my once coveted "career".
Swan's song
Nowadays, I do feel the old desire pop up sometimes, and I even create a track or 2 here and there like this cute little tribute to EOS.io which I decided to make a musicoin only release:
https://musicoin.org/nav/track/0x233efb7b9f047dbc53aa2bab67fa455f29d56ba3
(It was supposed to be embedded here and should have looked like this:
but unfortunately embedding is currently supported only for youtube, vimeo & soundcloud)
So some very light creation going on here and there, but largely I've decided to leave it as a hobby.
Some cool tracks and memories left behind, nothing I would trade them for:
And yet, I wish I had made a reality check by going out and understanding what it meant to be giving out my musical value at an earlier stage - I would have saved a lot of time! (and some money too.)
That's how important it is not to get lost in a fantasy and actually go out to figure out what it really means and involves to make it a reality.
In the next part we will talk about the importance of making your genes work harder than you do and thus securing your top 10 position in whatever turns out to be your "real" vocation.
So digest this part, drop any questions or thoughts in the comment section below and we will go on in the next part.
Thanks for reading, talk to you soon.