These types of fears, we all have them and are the result of social contact through our lives. However, it does not mean that we do not perceive them as real and of course, we live them as such.

For that reason they affect us so much and we must treat them as what they are: false alarms.

Faced with such a situation, the first thing is to identify it, and then act according to it. You must recognize it and take action in a different way to how your brain "deceived", suggests you.

Tell yourself that the event is not what it seems and dispose the action in the appropriate "real" way and you will overcome it.

Most of these fears, once exceeded, no longer affect you.

Every man, if he proposes it, can be a sculptor of his own brainCajal

Many go in life with the heavy suitcase of beliefs that originated at some point in life, usually in childhood where the power of discernment is not established and that for different reasons or events are established as truths in life, and can reach to do a lot of damage

Associations are established by complex defense mechanisms that when posed as absolute truths and not subject to subsequent validation can give rise to phobias, discomfort, problems of self-esteem, emotional decontrol, inadequate attitudes for obtaining inner peace, among others.

Let's see two examples:

• People who develop anorexia because of the pain of enduring the mockery and humiliation of others in relation to their overweight; in this case the pain of non-acceptance can lead them to "blame" the food of pain (instead of understanding that the responsibility was the rejection of those beings who enjoyed the mockery), having then phobia to feed even though that behavior can lead to death.

• Believe that all men or women are evil and perverse because of bad experiences lived with one or some of them instead of understanding what made them select inadequately; In this way, responsibility is projected on the outside and there is avoidance of the possibility of having new possibilities of relationship.

In this way, a negative internal dialogue is generated within us, which limits us as a product of those meaningless or irrational beliefs that were created in a mistaken way in a moment of life, believing that with them we would protect ourselves.

Albert Ellis, Doctor in Psychology and creator of Rational Emotive Therapy, points out that most people have thinking errors that are:

• Ignore the positive

• Exaggerating the negative

• Generalize

How to identify irrational beliefs?

The way to achieve it is from the observation, paying the maximum attention since, when considering them absolute truths we do not usually submit them to test. The focal point is that they tend to be dogmatic, absolute, linked to everything or nothing, always or never, that is, they are handled as absolute truths, and from there anything that happens other than what we believe produces immense emotional damage.

Once identified you can work on them questioning their absolute nature, looking for evidence and understanding that in life nothing is absolute so emotional well-being requires not only that we understand the relativity of it but to understand that everything changes, sometimes we are up and others below, sometimes we achieve what we expect and sometimes we do not, and even then, it is not only perfect but it is the nature of this experience called life.

Less frustration, more understanding and improvement.