Usually, I wouldn’t bother wasting bandwidth posting something about my first car, since it’s a dark and suspicious stain in the history of my life. However, my buddy 
Before we begin, I have to clearly state that I inherited this car from my sister, when she left our sunny shores to move to the considerably greyer shores of London. So I actually didn’t buy it - the first car I paid for with my own money was my Subaru WRX, that you can read about here (but only when you’re finished reading this).
So, here we go. My first car was a VW Citi Golf 1.3l “Sport” Edition.
This isn’t the actual car, but it looked like this. You’ll soon find out why.
Image source
The Citi Golf was (and still is) a popular budget car choice in South Africa. At the time that I had it, I think it was the cheapest brand new car you could buy. Production eventually ceased around 2010, and I can’t say I shed any tears to be honest. In terms of production numbers? I really don’t know either, but it must be somewhere in the millions.
My particular model was sitting on some 13” mags (previous owner put these on), rocking an enormous sound system (also previous owner), and a huge and entirely unnecessary “SPORT” vinyl on the side (not sure if this was the previous owner, but he deserves a slap if yes).
The car lacked power steering, ABS, traction control, power windows, and aircon. While these may not seem like such a big deal, I live in a very humid city with temperatures that easily pass 35 degrees in the summer months. Driving this car was therefore quite a workout, and I’d often arrive at a destination drenched in sweat. Opening the windows did nothing except move the hot air around even faster. No wonder I didn’t have a girlfriend for that time (but I still don’t - so nothings changed I guess?)
Nope, still not the actual car. Keep going.
Image source
Ok, so why no images of the car? Well, I never took any. I literally don’t have one picture of the actual car. I scrolled through 10 years worth of photos on my sisters Facebook page, thinking that she maybe posted one of it sometime. Nope. Nothing.
I only managed to find three instances of it from the years 2008/2009, all of which are photos that my friends tagged me in. I’ll scatter them throughout the rest of the article.
So by now, we’re all aware of the features that the car lacked. But fear not, there were some additional “quirks” that lay in surprise as I mentioned in the intro. If anyone watches car reviewer Doug De Muro on YouTube, you’re well aware of how much he loves pointing out a cars quirks.
Why this image exists, I don’t know. But it was taken during a drive to the beach.
Quirk 1:
For no apparent reason, the engine warning light would come on and emit a sound reminiscent of a World War II air raid siren. Seriously, this thing was fucking deafening. I've shot an AR-15 assault rifle without ear protection that was quieter. The engine was checked multiple times, and there was never anything wrong.
Best case scenario: The Luftwaffe siren would sometimes turn off after a few seconds.
Worst case scenario: It would keep blaring away, even once I’d turned the engine off.
In a fit of rage, I hit the dashboard really hard one day, and the sound stopped. From then on, it was a common occurrence to see me driving along hitting the dashboard at full force to get the air raid siren to stop. It must have made for an interesting sight.
Interior photo with me driving. Note the AUX cable leading out the front loader. I think the sound system and iPod combination were worth more than the car.
Quirk 2:
You’d hop in the car to head down to the shops to grab some lunch quickly. 10 minutes inside max waiting for your food. Upon climbing back in the car, it would just refuse to start. Starter motor was fine. Oil was fine. Battery was working. The car would just decide it needed a little rest - it's hard work being a shitbox. This could happen first thing in the morning, or even after turning the car off for a few seconds. Sometimes, the car would run fine for weeks, and then refuse to start one day.
Lurking in the background, ruining the photo. The boot was open to provide some bumping tunes for our dam swimming session - I seem to recall this was around the time that The Prodigy released “Invaders Must Die”, so that’s probably what was playing.
Quirk 3:
After a while, the entire exhaust rotted away and just sort of fell off. Therefore, the car became incredibly loud overnight, and wherever I drove, I always had someone wanting to race me. The huge Sport motif on the side probably didn’t help the cause.
Quirk 4:
It was fucking slow. End of story.
I know I’m sounding overly harsh of this car, and should probably be grateful that I even had a car to get around in. I get that and appreciate that, but this thing just made me miserable. As someone who suffers from depression, I didn’t need any extra issues to deal with, and this was one of them. Driving on a hot summers day sweating bullets while listening to the air raid siren didn’t make for a good experience. It was eventually sold and I managed to plonk myself into the Subaru WRX. Good riddance.
Citi Golf, meet your replacement.
Hell, even my dog was happy being in the Subaru.
However, I do have one pleasant memory of the car, which ironically happened after it was sold. I was sitting in a traffic jam in my WRX, and needed to switch over to the left lane to get my exit. Literally no one was letting me in, and I was about to miss my turn. Then, out of nowhere, a white Citi Golf darted out of the left lane next to me, and I wasted no time in slotting into the vacant spot. I took a closer look at the Golf as we rounded a corner up ahead - it had the same numberplate, same wheels, and the huge vinyl. Yep, after all that time, my old car finally did something good for me.
Read about the original #myfirstcar challenge here, made by @nelkeljdm.