... however, I have experienced 4 years of longing for a son
Before we became this Incredible Family, there were 4 years of void in my heart. I came to UAE almost 13 years ago as an unmarried woman, actually unsure of her plans. I was lucky to find a good job 3 months later and so my then boyfriend 
It was not easy.
Being expatriate workers with a baby and no nanny, we had to endure 3 months of daily bus commute with our baby so that I can take care of him while at work. Yes, my boss was that understanding. He let me bring my baby to the office so that I can personally look after him.
and 
This set-up, of course, could not last long. When my son started to crawl at around 6 months, we decided to "hire" someone to take care of him while hubby and I were at work. We could not afford a "live in" nanny so we had to again endure around 2 months of tagging him along with us in the bus, leave him at the nanny's house, then fetch him after work. Every day.
Daddy and son at the left, while waiting for the bus along Hamdan St. in Abu Dhabi.
It was really tiresome. I remember dropping up to 6kgs than my pre-pregnancy weight. My mom kept on asking me to just send our baby to the Philippines so that we could focus on our work while we do not worry about a "stranger" looking after him.
Prayers and Answers
As a first time mom, I could not imagine being away from my son like that. NO. I would endure anything for my son, I thought. As I prayed each night, I asked for God's enlightenment. Then He answered in an unexpected way.
One morning, as we went to the nanny's house, we were surprised to find out that she was not there. Apparently, there was a CID (police) inspection at their residence the previous night. Someone leaked information that there were illegal residents (those staying in the country without visas) in that flat. One of them, the nanny of our baby.
I cried. God just helped us cement our decision to send our baby home to the Philippines. I could not imagine what could have happened if the checking happened during the day while our son was there...
It was a sad Christmas of 2009
December 13, 2009. It was 12 days before Christmas. Instead of preparing to celebrate our first Christmas as a family, we brought our then 8-months old baby to the airport so that he can go home to the Philippines with my cousin. Yes, it was not I nor my husband who brought him home. It was another person. My heart was broken to pieces that night. I slept with his just-worn onesies beside me for many nights after that. I would wake up in the middle of the night, trying to look for him for he used to sleep next to me. I would realize he was gone and weep for a few hours afterwards.
Four long years.
There were four long years of incompleteness. A few week's vacation each year was not enough, knowing that our son was drifting away from us. He refused to call me "Mommy." He would not talk to me on the phone. When I was there, I did not even know how to calm him when he awoke in the middle of the night. I cried when I could not make him stop from crying, while my mom would just need to walk in the room to make him stop.
I was, and I am thankful though that during those years, I did not have to worry that my son was not being cared for properly. I knew my parents and sister loved him so much and were sacrificing a lot for him, filling the space we, his parents left.
We worked hard to get him back here in the UAE and finally in 2013, we were together again. There were lots of adjustments. Slowly we built and filled what we missed. Now, he has a little sister and little brother to mess around with.
It is not a perfect life.
There are still lots of sacrifices, bumps and hiccups along the way. These are unavoidable. However, we try to stay strong together as a family. We are still living in a foreign land. We pray that soon, we do not have be far with our loved ones in the Philippines just to earn a living. One day. One day.
We all have stories to share. This is mine.
This is my contribution to the 
All photos by the author, previously published in FB.
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