So here i am. Sitting in the roof at a saturday night around 1 o clock in the morning starting to meditate. I sat before a big window having free look into the night sky. About 30-45 minutes in i was pretty deep but i figured something is in the way still, i want to test my boundaries and see how deep i can go.
Now it becomes a little gross so you might want to skip this part ( i know you wont after this speech but you really should lol)
I went to the wc (i didnt eat the evening before and the whole day) and had a poo. But not just any poo it seriously felt like all negativity was washed completely out of me with it. I felt so pure in this moment.
I went back to my meditation place and sat down. Soon i felt that rollercoaster but it wasnt as hard as the last time. Seems like i got used to it. Or my mind set it to not go as hard on me. Whatever. I was in that pure nothingness when i very clearly visualized obama. He was almost plastic or even better than that. More detail. I remember feeling this is for the whole earth and everything in it. Like i was acting and deciding for everything that obama has to wake up and see the truth that i have found and thus change the world for the better. All of the sudden the garden door was banging. I remember coming back to my body took quite a long time. It felt like i was deep inside myself hearing the banging from far away. There was a movie lately that i have seen which reminded me on that moment. The name of the movie is 'get out'.
Anyway i got out of the meditation, still a very clear mind, pretty sure some drunk friends came over, it was saturday and something like this happened a lot. I went downstairs looking outside the window and the garden door banging again infront of me but nothing is there... the shock came over me when i realized it must be a ghost and thinking of it i feel the feeling i had in this moment. In shock i screamed 'what!' And it was banging the door even harder like it wants me to know it isnt scared and/or pretty angry. Oh my god i said, oh please just let me alone i will not look into this anymore!! In the panic i was i ran into the basement room where my pc was to look if some buddy is online to come over.. damn not even one online. I look back and see the basement window open. I remember thinking oh no this thing could come through it when i felt an energy like feeling coming over my head. I could clearly see a five edged but the edges were round up, red star, before my inner eye. Infact it was the only thing i was able to see at this point. Then my inner being started shaking slowly back and fourth, i felt a love like feeling one can not imagine and not feel on this planet in this intensity. Maybe it is possible by meditating and rising up this energy but i certainly never felt it and could not imagine a situation where it would be possible. Pure extasy may be sufficient.
I found myself in the middle of what i call struddle of reality. It looked like a tornado of everything that ever existed and i am in the middle of it feeling so utterly good. Around this struddle was a smoke like thing curling around it like seemingly holding this struddle together. Out of the struddle i heared voices screaming 'we are almost free'.
I realized my body on earth started laughing like you would imagine someone who went mad running around naked and just laughing.. i was a little shocked and didnt want to leave this nice place but even less i want to go mad and lose my shit on earth.. so i got everything together and screamed 'no!'. I jumped up from my seat ran upstairs and put on every light in the damn house... when i had a moment to come down i have seen in my inner eye like alot of waves in different colours are about to collide. And they did collide. It felt like each of these waves represented an emotion of mine.. it really felt very bad i cant explain it in words. At this point a little panic came up and i was about to run over to my neighbours ringing them wake telling them everything. I thought this thing wants to make me mad. Today im glad i didnt do that lol. Probably would have ended up locked up and pumped full of psychopharmaka.
Anyway i am sitting down on my sofa, every light on in the house, this thing speaks to me in my head clear as day 'DO YOU BELIEVE I RULE THE WORLD THE WRONG WAY!?' i was like 'uh, erm, no?' Shitting my pants...
Now i had a conversation with it but i only remember snippets of it because its quite some time ago and i could barely talk about it without getting the madness stamp.
Some of the snippets are: i asked it how it looks and it said it would scare me if it shows, i thought of something it could show off to me like a naked girl or something and all of the sudden i felt strong energy in both my arms, i felt very mighty and powerful and so my materialistic mind took over, i thought maybe i can now suck everything into my life instantly, i thought about money and women and this thing drowned my whole body, i was barly able to get to the waterbottle.. it scared me and again showed me what power it has over me. I said 'can you give me five million euros' it instantly and angry saying 'WHY' i said 'i want to enjoy life' again angry 'go work'! Lmao! Fucker... go work yourself! Im kidding, thats far from what i thought this moment. I wanted to get rid of it but i didnt know what to do and i still didnt know what to make of this, all kinds of things went through my head, what is this? Obama himself, some helping demon, is it god, is it satan, is it some electromagnetic weapon hacked into my conciousness, wtf is up here? Have i opened something in my head which they close through flouride? Damn i went to the bath and washed my teeth two times with fluoride toothpaste! No kidding. I wanted to get rid of this thing but i didnt have the balls to go sleep. I thought maybe i dont wakeup sane anymore then. I was gonna wait till the sun comes up. Maybe it will be better who knows..
Another snippet is i went downstairs to distract myself at the pc. Next to that room is the heating room and when i came down i feared this thing might let it explode and instantly i smelled clear fire as if paper would burn... this thing used all my fears against me instantly but it seems it needs the fear first to do anything. It only came in my room when i first thought it could come through the window. By banging the garden door it wanted me to fear aswell. And im pretty sure before it went into me i thought something similar aswell.
Another snippet was a feeling like a point of energy going through my whole body and leaving out of my left foot, felt like it was scanning me from the inside. It wasnt in my right leg tho which left me wondering why. Took only a few seconds. Didnt hurt, even felt a little good.
After that scan i thought it left but it talked to me once more.
I waited till the sun came up and went sunbathing in the garden. I was very lightheaded, it felt pretty scary, like i could lose it if i dont hold it together. I didnt want to go sleep so i waited for a friend to stay up and go for a walk to a field flying with his drone a bit. And when we were there this thing mumbled something angry again (seemingly out of the sky) and i was pissed that its still there and said something like 'ffs its enough now leave' or something. Mumbeling became quiet and never heared anything of it anymore.
After flying the drone we went to a shop and when going back the sun on our back projected a shaddow of my friend with two very clear devil horns like this ^ ^.
This shit crushed my reality as i thought it was. If that is possible, what else is possible!?
And was this thing just a doorkeeper trying to keep me away from the deeper secrets?
Anyway i couldnt be arsed to look into this any time soon. The next days i prayed and did all kinds of research in i think every religion there is. I came to the occult searching for ways to keep my loved ones and me save in situations like this. I felt so helpless.
Two months later i sat in the garden in the sun and i thought id try a mini meditation again. as soon as i closed my eyes no one minute in everything became white, even when i opened my eyes it didnt stop to become whiter, i jumped off the seat and ran into the house where it became normal again but what was left was the lightheaded feeling of that night. That freaked me out again. The rest of the day the lightheadiness was still there. One could probably enjoy this feeling if he didnt project fear or madness onto it. I really didnt fear getting insane or even diying. What i feared was leaving my loved ones mourning if something like that happened.
Now the sickest part which i almost missed writing:
Two weeks later on facebook i have seen a picture made by a painter 1980 (before i was born). I just searched for it for one hour but i cant find it.. i will search more if i have time. Cant even remember the name of the artist
This picture showed exactly what i have witnessed when the ghost kicked me out of my body what i think is the 'afterlife'. So this artist has witnessed what i have witnessed there even before i was born! Man this blew my mind away. Upto then i was taking into consideration that my mind played games on me and my imagination ran wild but that was the proof to me that this was damn real.
Please if you had similar experiences let me know about them in the comments. I didnt write down every meditation and experience i had cuz this would take years i figured so i overjumped a lot. But maybe you find yourself in one of those comments
