Hi my name is Gary. I’ll talk on my experiences dating, being married too, and living with a narcissist, in my opinion. I thought she was a narcissist and perhaps other people that have been in this situation to can relate. It seems most men seem to be the narcissist. I don't know if that's true or not but it certainly seems to be the case or maybe it's just that most men who are with a narcissist don't like to admit that they’re in some kind of abusive relationship. It wasn't actually until my relationship was over that I even realized she might be a narcissist.
Of course you know when you start doing the research and looking things up, you start seeing red flags and a lot of things make sense. I definitely went through the idealization phase of love bombing. I can talk about how long that lasted. I went through the devalue stage and how long that lasted and then finally I went through the discard stage and talk about that too. So the whole process from start to finish was about 14 years I suppose. I was pretty unhappy most that time but I kept thinking that this person that I found love with was in there somewhere. If I just tried a bit harder, if I just tried to be like the guy that she met, then maybe I could get that person back.
One of the hardest things is to accept it and in some ways I still don't. That most of my relationship feels like a lie. There were warning signs before I got married. There were warning signs after the marriage. I'm English and she's American and we were living in England and there were warning signs about moving to America as well.
I guess I'll start right at the beginning. So the beginning will be the idealization phase and love bombing. Maybe part of reason why I'm making this is because she started seeing somebody else and we've been separated divorced now for about two years. Just recently I can see the love bombing going on with this other person.
So it's just kind of interesting to know this is as good as it's going to get for this guy. I've met him once at a meet-up group since it’s a small town. From what I remember he seems a nice guy. Part of me feels bad for him, and part of me still misses her. It’s complicated for sure.
So this is a modified transcript of one of my YouTube channel posts. As I delve deeper into the subject, I talk less about myself and more on topics, such as devalue, covert narcissism and more. I hope this lays the ground work for more interesting and specialized posts in the future.
Comments welcome – This is my first ever Steemit post.
Thank you