Let's start with a little background before I get into the altar build. I met Shanda when I was barely 18, way back in 1995, at my first rainbow gathering. Through the years we have shared the bond of true sisterhood, and in my darkest days she has been a light to shine through it all. Sometimes we see each other a lot, sometimes months will pass without a word, but we are as close in our hearts and spirits as two humans can possibly be.
Shanda has been a world traveler, and goes abroad multiple times per year. This year, she and some friends were able to go to Morocco for the first time. While she was there, the opportunity arose to jump across the Mediterranean to Spain. Somewhere along this leg of the trek, she contracted a very deadly strain of the strep bacteria and necrotizing fasciitis which nearly killed her. She was in the hospital in Barcelona for nearly 3 weeks, fighting not only to survive, but also to keep her left arm. She went through at least 5 surgeries there, and when she finally made it back stateside she had to have several other surgeries. I will state here that she is now well, world traveling again, and is learning to use her arm again.
That's the backstory, so now you should have enough to understand the rest of my post!
When all of this happened, literally just 2 days before Shanda was to return home, many of us who love her began praying, sending healing vibes/reiki/energy, raising money to help with expenses ~ whatever we could think of to be a part of something that was helpful. We, I, felt HELPLESS!!!
The grief, the worry, the helpless feeling, was unbearable. I was not ready to lose my sister! I also was not willing to sit on my hands "across the pond" while all of her healing (or her earthly release) was happening in Barcelona.
I poured my grief and worry into something I could create ~ an altar, just for Shanda. The family watched as I cleared our dining/kitchen table of all and began to work. Rabbit (my partner) went out and lovingly picked every single rose off our special rose bush.
(I still have these petals now, dried and neatly in a jar)
I work on intuition when it comes to matters of the heart and spirit. I went through my rocks, my special items, everything. I pulled things out for the altar, and placed them ~ right side, left side, front, back, middle. There were feathers, chalices, stones, a turtle shell, so many things. Once it was initially built, I made an extensive list of what was there, and then went back to determine why I had placed each one on the altar.
I made a decision as I lit that altar. The light would stay burning until she made it back to the United States. For those of you who burn candles, you may understand the dedication this was to my creation!
I knew I wasn't nearly the only conscious human who was struggling with Shanda's situation, so I began posting photos on social media. I definitely got a lot of gratitude for that, including from Shanda's one friend who was with her in Barcelona! It gave ALL of us something to focus on.
For those of you who have never worked with tending an altar or shrine, it is important to understand that these spaces only work as long as they are tended. An altar is unequivocally tied to the living, to life, to remembrance and reverence. If you want to find a dead energy, or dead deity, just find their forgotten, dusty, unkempt altar...
I will also note here that an altar does not have to be for a diety! It is a beautiful energy tool to focus in whatever direction you choose ~ in this case, the healing of my dearest sister.
Over the next few weeks, I was as attentive to this altar as I would have been if Shanda was in my very house. Flowers were changed as needed. Candles were watched and planned for, and changed out so that there was ALWAYS at least one candle burning. Items were moved, removed, replaced, added, whatever was needed as the moments would hit me. I truly felt like I had one foot in the land of the living, and one foot in the land of spirit. My family will tell you, I was almost in a trance-like state at times the altar called for something to change.
I would like to share another synchronicity with you. One night I fell asleep on the couch, and as grace would have it, "something" woke me out of a dead sleep around 5am. I was barely able to get another candle lit before the one that was on the altar fizzled out.
This is the only time there was any chance of the altar going dark!!!
It definitely caused a surge of emotion and adrenalin and whatever else counts as freaking someone out! When I spoke with Shanda and her friend in Spain later that day, I found that the night for them had been super scary, and they were indeed grateful to have made the new sunrise after such a harrowing experience.
How grateful I was to feel validation that my altar was sending healing and love to my sister, to have such "proof" that we are connected!!
I recognize that the doctors and staff in Barcelona were beyond amazing. They were able to figure out what was going on and begin treatments before Shanda died, which is in itself a blessing based on my research into this scary bacteria. It was the hard work and dedication of the doctors that sent her home, and that sent her home with all her limbs!!! I am not here to take credit for the work on the ground that happened ~ I may be spiritual but I am also part of this physical world, and I know better.
However, the altar was definitely a source of healing ~ for me, for Shanda, for every single person who was part of the altar. While I did the physical build and keeping, I included items from other close friends, and I did not for a second claim the altar as my own, even inside myself. It was a focal point for many of us, a labor of love, and a tool for healing.
I couldn't tell you how many things I changed about the altar, or how many times. What I can tell you is that if you allow spirit/intuition/conscience to guide you, your own altar will have what it needs upon it. I can tell you that just simply "praying" for something isn't enough for me. In order to pray for something, I then have to put my own efforts towards that thing. I can't sit and wait for something to come to me just because I wished for it.
I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that if the outcome of Shanda's experience would have been the harder one, the altar would have given me comfort in knowing I at least did my best, knowing I did something. I would not have fared well should that have happened and I had only prayed and cried.
One more thing on prayer: There is only one outcome that I pray for, ever. It is "the best for all concerned". I recognize that I am one tiny life form on one tiny planet in a massive multiverse, and I haven't a clue what's best for everyone ~ hell, probably not even for myself half the time! My perspective may not be the best thing to manifest, even if it seems good in the moment. So, if I am asking for help from something greater than me, then I offer respect to the idea that I may not really know what help is best, and I am willing to accept help that I need and not just what I want.
Thanks for reading!
