Hmm. Well, I've been taught a bit of a lesson this week about listening to my body and being kinder to myself. I preach it often enough, but sometimes, I fail to take my advice. A recent injury has got me thinking about longevity and the homesteading lifestyle. Will I be able to do this when I am 60? 80?
I woke yesterday, and the pain in my back was sharp, pinching, flaring, stiff, and ouch. Injury of this nature is something new for me; I've never pushed it past that line before and actually ... broke. I find this quite alarming because I love hard work and pushing myself. We've got a lot to get done and much of it relies on me being strong and capable.
So what happens when you've discovered a touch of weakness? What if it never goes away? What one of us gets seriously injured or sick? What if I have to pay for ignoring the signals of my body for months, years ...forever even? These are scary thoughts when your whole lifestyle is balanced upon your ability to get the job done.
I find myself at a loss, caught up in this cycle of having to lye down, stretch, do nothing, pack back and forth, lie down again - all of it incredibly frustrating and confining. I can't help but wonder about how well keep this lifestyle up in the future decades.
We exercise a lot. Could do better. We stretch a lot. Could also do better. We don't take rest days. We sometimes (always) push for too long without breaks. When it comes to self-care - we can do a LOT better. This gives me hope. More focus needs to be put on self-care. I can fix this. Clearly, I've been ignoring the warning signs and maybe it is as simple as that in the end?
It's not easy to learn and listen. I thought I was doing the right thing yesterday by taking it easy which for me was watering the greenhouse and making three batches of soap. I've been experimenting with the wild dandelion and spruce tip infusions that I'd made a few weeks ago. I am somewhat amused upon reflection that I thought standing in a kitchen for three hours would be an easier/lighter task than say ... reading a book.
I stood there back throbbing and feeling the frustration of having started a project that I was not fit to do. I got it done of course and then spent hours lying down trying to undo the hurt. I'm sort of lost on what to do with myself. This really isn't much fun and I never want to be in this position again.
dandelion infused soap with garden herbs and botanicals.
Spruce tip & dandelion infused soap with garden herbs and botanicals.
While immobile a gift for nature came along.
We had a good long soaking yesterday and a double rainbow. It was as though nature had come along with a reminder of something I'd forgotten. It's ok to be still. It's essential to tune in and listen to our bodies. Nature can take care of itself (and me) if I let it.
So I lie around and listen to my body throbbing. In the silence and stillness, I can pinpoint the exact area that hurts. I can feel activity going on inside there as things try to reach and cope with the damage I have done.
I'll try and be patient. I'll silence all of the "maybe I should do's" that pop into my head every five seconds. I'll let my husband do my heavy lifting for a while but he needs to be just as mindful.
I'll listen to poetry & music.
and a podcast about mosquitoes being important pollinators. Something I'd never contemplated.
I'll lie on the balcony enjoy a few kisses from the sun, smell the lilacs and swat mosquitoes.
most of all I won't forget this lesson. I promise.
