Warning: This piece contains language and content regarding domestic abuse that some people may find sensitive or triggering.
Last night the actress and TV personality Chloe Dykstra wrote an unlisted blog post on Medium detailing allegations of emotional and sexual abuse that occurred in a relationship over a period of three years. Since the post went live, many have speculated that the ex-boyfriend in question was TV host and podcaster Chris Hardwick; some, including his former employees, have publicly distanced themselves from the Nerdist co-founder. In a follow-up tweet, Dykstra, who is also the daughter of Academy Award-winning special effects guru John Dykstra, thanked people for their support and did not contest the connection.
“In my early twenties, I was a vibrant, goofy kid who loved video games, Doctor Who, dressing up in cosplay with my friends, and karaoke nights. One day, I met someone at a convention and ended up falling for a man almost 20 years my senior,” Dykstra wrote. “Our relationship started out poorly. Within 2 weeks, rules were quickly established.”
Those rules — which fall under what the National Domestic Violence hotline describes as abusive — applied to who Dykstra could see (no male friends) and what she could do (no alcohol, no going out at night without him). She goes on to describe a charming partner who turned into “a nightmare” when the cameras were gone, and one who demanded sex whether she was willing or not. The post details the effect his abuse had on her, including dramatic, stress-induced weight loss, pulling out her hair to the point of needing regular extensions, staying quiet in his presence in public, and “drifting through life like a ghost.”
“What I wanted was a partner, someone to confide in, someone to share things with, someone who wouldn’t judge me, someone I knew would be there for me,” she wrote. “What I felt that this man wanted was a woman who would feed him, sleep with him, and go to events with him.”
Dykstra also alleged that once she left, the ex had her blacklisted at companies she worked for regularly, effectively “steamrolling [her] career.” The blacklisting, she said, drove her to consider suicide more than once.
The reaction to the Medium post was immediate throughout the entertainment industry. Multiple writers for Nerdist Industries, the company Hardwick co-founded and then subsequently sold to Legendary Entertainment in 2012, have denounced him or stated they would no longer write for Nerdist.com.