You know, only yesterday I was looking at the 3SBD I had earned in the entire day, and I felt ungrateful. It is a sentiment that often claws its way to the forefront of my mind, and one that has become more difficult to suppress in recent months.
When I look at other users with a reputation of 69 and above, I typically see that they are on one or more whale's autovoters. It has sometimes bothered me that I have never received such a reward for all the time I put into Steemit, and all the potential rewards I sacrificed by adhering to my morals and by fighting against the abuse of some of our most influential Steemians.
I don't know why I let it bother me. It was certainly clear to me, during the times in which I was calling out abusive whales or curation trails for their misdeeds, that I was negating any opportunity to gain support from them in the future. So it is unproductive to say the least to be wondering why I still did not get put on one later. I suppose a part of me always remained optimistic that there was decent, moral whales hiding out there somewhere; and that if I worked hard long enough, I would also get what it seems every other person my level has had.
I was a fucking idiot though. Such whales do not exist on this platform, or if they do, they pay little enough attention to what is going on here. I have known this for quite some time, which is why I stopped putting hours into my posts a good while ago now. I have no interest in having to play bingo for a payout after all I have given to the platform, and all the excellent content I once produced for the blockchain.
This is starting to sound like an attempt to make you pity me, but believe me, I need no pity from you or anyone else. I want to share this because today I have realised something important.
I looked upon my 2000 followers this morning and felt nothing. Why should I? The number means nothing after all. Many of those followers are dead accounts, many have followed hoping for a follow back, and many are accounts that serve no purpose other than following or being followed to facilitate the selling of resteems.
I then looked at my level 69 rep and realised just how little meaning this has. In fact, I wished it was lower, for I don't want others to think that mine was achieved through the autovoting of whales, as most have been.
I then went and looked at my SP, to see what I have managed to accumulate on the way to this apparent milestone. Yes. Ungrateful I felt again, for I have pretty much nothing. I realised that, for all my attempts to do good for all of you, I have accomplished exactly nothing through this platform in the last year.
That is how I felt, in that moment. But it did not last long, for I soon realised that I was wrong. I have accomplished far more than most on this platform. Living by example is something I strive towards, and I hadn't even realised that I have set one that it worthy of being looked at.
This message is directed at those of you who are afraid to speak up or act against abusers because it may negatively impact your income.
I might like to feel sorry for myself on occasion, much like everyone else, but I do recognize that I received a lot from this platform, and I did it all without betraying my sense of morality.
When someone was a cunt, I called them a cunt, regardless of their SP. I never made any dodgy deals with whales to serve myself, and anyone who knows me will know of my innovation, and that I could have found many ways to milk this teat if it was what I wanted.
I did none of that. Nor did I even play "the game" as I like to call it. I do not follow others around and comment on their posts so that they will come and comment on mine and upvote etc etc etc. I do not act friendly to anyone who I deem unworthy of it, and I have actively trolled people on steemit and dlive.
What I am getting at, is that I have done all this; remaining true to who I am, and guess how much I received for it?
I am afraid to the do the real math, but I have approximated it to 8500 STEEM and 5000 SBD.
That's enough to buy a decent house in this country, which is a fucking lot to earn in only a little over a year.
Now obviously, I don't have this right now. I was unemployed when I discovered Steemit, and have used my income from Steemit to stay afloat. But this is of my own doing, and if I had been in a place where I did not need to power down or withdraw funds, then I would likely be sitting on a very significant amount of SP.
So if you are someone with a voice, who feels that to open your mouth and have an opinion, might result in you being flagged off the platform, I would invite you to take a look at what I have achieved with Steemit-- and without censoring my voice or personality.
I genuinely feel that I am in a far better position right now, than I would have been if I had used my brain to play the game or abuse the platform to my own ends. Sure, I have nothing in terms of money. But, I have educated myself in so many useful things, things that I would not have had to if I was earning enough. Also, I am in the best fucking health of my life thanks to an accidental discovery last year, that humans can survive without food for over five days.
If I had not been poor, I would never have been starving myself to ensure my dog ate, and I would never have discovered the health benefits of fasting; which I have since done several times and now feel as though my mind and body are returning to their original glory.
There are a ton of other things that have come about as a result of my recent battle with poverty, but this seems to be getting more personal than is necessary.
The take-home from this is that; I stayed true to who I am. I allowed no threats of flags, or fear of earning less to dissuade me from doing what I would, or saying what I wanted to say. And on this platform, where the whales apparently reign supreme, I still earned myself what could have amounted to 100,000+ dollars.. In just a year.
So to all of you who make the excuse not to do the right thing, or not to challenge your fellow Steemians on their shitty behaviour, simply because it might effect your "Steemit career" or your earnings, remember the example that I have set here. Remember just how much STEEM and SBD I have earned whilst still doing what I believe to be the right thing, and remember just how much I was able to gain from having nothing, and then ask yourself if you are really going to allow fear to dictate your decisions.
The only way this place will get better is if we make the effort to change it, but that will never happen as long as so many of you censor your own voices for fear of someone pressing a downvote button on their computer- essentially, the fear of nothing at all.