When you look back at your life, do you remember your lowest low? It's easy to remember the good times, you post about it, take lot's of photos, tell all your friends. What about when you are at your weakest, when you are alone and have no one to share your struggles with? When you'd give anything to be able to hit the reset button and be able to start over.
Are you there now? Do you feel like you hit rock bottom, not sure if there is a way out or anywhere to go from here? There is hope for you, this is my story.
I grew up normal and healthy like most, raised in a good home with a great family. Excelled in school and sports, graduating as both a top athlete, and an honor roll student.
Moving on to graduate a Policing Course in College, my path and future was laid out for me. Until one day, which was just like any other day. I fell ill, nausea and dizzyness overwhelmed me, blacking out on and off. this lasted for weeks, until i was told i was having seizures.
My license was immediately suspended, i caught my g/f of 3 and a half years cheating on me. My father and grandmother had both passed unexpectedly weeks earlier. I got fired from my job, because i no longer had transportation. 20 years old, and my whole life just got flipped upside down.
After meeting a number of specialists all throughout southern Ontario, i was diagnosed with Epilepsy. My seizures increased in frequency and severity for the next 6 years. Starting at 1 every 10 months to 70+ a day. The toll it took on my body was so damaging that doctors were unsure of the long term effects or my chance of survival.
I had given up, spent almost all the money i had on alcohol and lived a reckless and secluded life that even my closest family and friends couldn't save me from. Suicidal thoughts were a common place, as i felt nothing anymore emotional and physically thanks to a combination of the powerful meds i was on and the stress and fatigue my body was constantly under.
Finally a doctor in Toronto, said it would be worth it for me to take a chance and have a very risky brain surgery where they would remove 8 inches of my brain that was severely damaged and scarred. This would hopefully make my life a little more comfortable.
I consented because what else did i have to lose at that point. The surgery took place Jan 5th 2015, i was rushed in for an emergency 2nd Surgery on Jan 7th to remove the a large amount of bleeding on my brain. Before the taking me in my family was told to go say their good byes to me just in case i didn't survive this next surgery. While in acoma, my sister placed her hand on my chest and kissed my forehead wiping tears from her eyes saying goodbye. I grabber her hand and held it, which made her breakdown even more but gave her a sense of hope.
Removing more of my skull, exposing more of my brain the surgeons did an amazing job and i woke up days later all bruised and sore. However i was alive, most of my skull was replaced with a titanium plate, but the issue was resolved. I began to gather my strength learning to walk again, talk again, do basic everyday things like tell time and math equations. IMG_0003.JPG
Figuratively having hit the reset button i had a 2nd chance at life, although most of my memories were lost i was determined to live life properly this time. Met the girl of my dreams 2 months out of surgery, where i was still very much still recovering and deformed from the surgery. Became a homeowner 8 months later, got engaged 2 years later . Having worked full time since 1 month out of surgery.
Which brings me where i am today, let this be an example for anyone who is feeling broken, empty or hopeless. Keep fighting, don't give up and be the best you that you can be everyday. Don't sweat the small stuff or the things you can't change. I believe in you.
Leave a comment with what struggles you are going through, or if you have just fought your way through something i want to hear about it! Together we can all lift each other up.