Scientist state that global warming is caused by water wanting to be steam way more then it wants to be ice. Confirming the long held belief that steam is, in fact, the coolest state of water.
"After reviewing the evidence, we have concluded that steam is cooler, in almost every way, than ice. and people should adjust their lives accordingly" Dr. Eric Wartsmith - Research Institute of Ice, Water, Steam and That's It.
All of the data isn't in yet, but below are some of the facts in favor of steam that will be presented in Dr. Wartsmiths up and coming book , Steampower, available in select Blockbusters worldwide. See for yourself!
1. 85% of the world prefers hot showers, out of their lust of steam and its soothing affects.
2. The Ancient Eastern herbalists use to only inhale the steam coming from there tea cups. It is said that it would take 4 days and 5 nights with over 1,000 reheatings to ascend all of their tea into steam for them to inhale. The practice was wildly used to promote patience and immortality.
3. Steampunk is a genre of science fiction that typically features steam-powered machinery and not ice powered machinery because nobody would of bought books about that.
4. Winter took approximately 8 years to come, proving it the slower state of water and unfit to rule in the fast paced, attention economy.
5. Vanilla Ice
6. Steam rises to the top, by any means.
7. Steam is what dreams are made of.
8. Steam will get you higher then any marijuana ever. Consult your doctor before switching medical treatments though. Steam has not, YET, been proven to treat cancer, but there are currently trials running in Northeast Tibet.
9. Steam turns invisible and being invisible is the 11'th Most Wanted Superpower according to this list, Freeze Ray is 34th. The facts are the facts. Its hard to refute.
10. Ice cannot stand the heat, and therefore, should evacuate the kitchen immediately.
We are still unsure the affects of these findings will have on the masses and will update you as time moves foreward. The scientific community is already hailing this discovery as the greatest in our epoch, surpassing even the harnessing of fire which is a-whole-nother discussion. Until then, Steam Up!