Connecting my fingers to the keyboard this morning brought up the first ripple of fear as I began my exploration into what connections means to me. It is that moment just before. The one where you dive on in or turn away. It is the moment of decision. Am I prepared to open myself up? Am I ready to let down my walls? Or, not?
Even then, connection hasn't yet taken place. It is only when these words are then taken up and felt by another that the true connection begins. As you read this, you will either be connecting to me, or turning away. That same experience shared. Do I connect or do I not?
The real magic happens when we both dive in and open ourselves up. The words that pour out of me right now are ready to be breathed in by you. You will feel me. And in this moment that will be a slight mix of insecurity, shyness and hope.
I imagine myself as that shy, blue-eyed, little girl peeking just beyond my mother's leg, expectant and hopeful. Will I see the twinkle of the smile in your eye? The one I know, a deep unlearnt knowing, that connects me to you. It is the point at which the magic of connection begins. It is when the shyness evaporates and I come bounding out — puppy like.
Sometimes connection can happen in a flash and both you and I see each other through the open door that is hidden, or closed, for others. We accept each other fully. We are prepared to play full out. We are safe and able to dive deep, exploring the richness of all that lies beneath.
Do you know what I mean? Is this a shared experience between you and I?
Have you sat in another's company and lost where you begin and they end? Have you entered into their inside world, a welcome explorer...adventurer...friend? Have they allowed your curiosity and wonder to open them up more as they too explore their inner world, and see it anew with your fresh eyes?
My favourite journeys are ones of true connection. They are magical, experiential and often transformational. They are the journeys where we allow ourselves to open up and reclaim our true selves and brush out the cobwebs of old stored memories, messages that do not serve us anymore. We dive into the feelings within. Deep oceans that we have stored away inside ourselves.
The feeling resonates between us. We are one. We investigate. We play. We remember and reconnect to source. We re-learn and our ocean of feeling washes away.
Do you know what I mean?
Words are my tool to opening up. Words that are listened to. They set the tune and allow a rhythm to begin which in turn resonates towards a feeling. The curiosity and gentle wonder allow us to explore those areas inside that have been held tight and in some cases become stagnated, but we remain respectful and show loving care.
Instead of turning our backs or bringing up our walls, connection allows for courageous vulnerability. We are one. We hold hands with our echo selves who experienced hurt in the moment, who misunderstood, and then closed off, walled up and tried to forget past moments. But never succeeded.
The emotions stored away keep coming back to us. They won't be silenced. They need to be heard. Because you didn't understand. You took forward the wrong message. You believed there was something wrong with you. You hid from the real message that connection can draw out of you. You are whole. You are enough — exactly as you are.
This is what connection means to me. It means coming together. It means unifying and remembering we are whole.
What does it mean to you? Remember, I'll only know if you choose to dive in.