Some people know wich professional to choose from their earliest days of childhood while others made there decision much later in life. Some extraordinary playful people like me never settle in single profession. Jumping one field to another throughout their life (though I am 28 now have worked in 3 totally different fields In last 5 years☺️)
It is not easy to achieve what you dreamt. Somtimes a circumstances impose diversion of your aim of life. It becomes miserably hard when you don't find your area of interest.
So what do you want to become ?
Its one of the biggest question asked of children from toddlers to teenagers. As a child no sooner we started to talk than this question hits on us like a bullet. In the beginning the parents rushes to the child's rescue. They give some logically illogical answers, like he is crying in a rhythm so most probably he will became a singer. This type of answers are generally crafted our parent not to satisfy a questioner but to satisfy themselves.
Then we gradually grow older and now we have to face this question on our own. New things unfolds, the brain started to think spontaneously. The anwer to that question started to tilt in the direction in wich wind blows.
Some knows exactly what they want to be from the start. They stick with it. most of us are confused at that ege. We tends to gives some random answers like I want to become an engineer, a doctor, a teacher and bla bla bla..
The queationer never settle with single sentence answer. There is always 'why?' wich follow our answer. We must prepared for it always.
'This question consider the intellectual height of the children'- questioner's explanation to harrash out small brain. What the fuck is that 'intellectual height'? My brain was always wonders then.
By this explanation they continued to ask the question till we grow adult.
When I went to school the subject of geography came with the information our planetary system. The earth wich was situated on the plank of sheshnaga (according to hindu mythology, my grandfather used tell me bedtime stories regarding shrimadbhagavat) suddenly become a baseless rotating giant object. Wandering sun become a steady and the moon will no longer remains my uncle. My ancestors wich had become a stars suddenly went too far, many light years away.
Oh! That is incredible! My small brain shouted. The new door was opened in front of me, which was infinite, super interesting. My affection towards these things rapidly increased. As black hole pulled everything towards it, this new knowledge started to pull me towards it. I was introduced to a whole new universe and finally I made a decision-
I wanted to be an astronaut !
Then I started to felt like the whole universe is my home. I started reading book regarding space, science journals.
Started to observe solar and lunar eclipses. Visited many science demonstrations. Many times dreamt that I am working in ISRO and NASA and exploring space.
Until that time my journey to the my destiny was so smooth. Real misery started when I went to junior college. Now planetary system plunge from geography to physics.
In the first lecture of maths our teacher told me one thing that horrify me a lot. The teacher said, "what you leaned so far is not real maths, true mathematics will stars from today onwards". What the heck! The mathematical torment wich i suffered a lot for several years was not real maths😢.!. Regardlessly teacher's words turned out so true that this new demonic maths started to horrify me even more. That day I leant that the red carpet is gone and the thorny path is just started. Probability, trigonometry, derivative, vectors and many more chapters makes sure that I can't never settle in maths.
There was no space to hide for me when maths jumped in a physics. I shook my hands, came straight to ground from space and hit rockbottom. All of my desire to be an astronaut become a dream of ashes. Sometimes I felt like I can rise from that ashes like Phoenix bird, but it never happened. That last hope of mine is also become as imaginary as a Phoenix bird.
I somehow passed the 12th exam and brok up my sweet relationsheep with mathamatics along with physics and ultimately my with my dreams.
Then I left the desire flying in the sky and keeps crawling on ground. My plate was full of responsibilities, job, lack of money. I was too busy to dream anything. slowly slowly moonlight nights were disappear from my world.
Now sometimes at night I runs into concrete jungle to find some piece of my own sky. Air pollution and twinkling light of neon sign boards makes sure that I steal remains with empty hands.
Sometimes a sky with a full of stars comes to meet me, in my thoughts. Then I suddenly turned into an astronaut and visit many galaxies, countless stars and planets. Lot of moments of my life lost in that trash of stars. Really there is an astronaut is hidding insight my heart.
Image credit- pixel.com (copyright free image)
At last I want to share some lyrics of popular theme song of netflix's money heist(la casa de papel), this song is sung by spanish singer Cecilia krill and composed by mandal sanstisteban.
Whatever happens in the future
Trust in destiny
Don't try to make anything else
Even when you feel
I will be so strong
Looking for a new version of myself
'Cause now all I want is to be a part
Of my new world
I don't care at all
I am lost
I don't care at all
Why not have it all?
I am lost
I don't care at all
Lost my time, my life is going on....