Does your city publish a Crap Map?
How proud San Francisco snowflakes must be, leading the nation in public pooping - but Denver is about to join the Crap Map Club, too.
How long will New York and Seattle be able to ignore the alt-left's campaign to legalize Recreational Pooping?
Image: RedState
To Protect Illegals from Deportation, Denver Decriminalizes Pooping on the Pavement
Although a bit uncivilized, it stands to reason that Denver, the first US city to legalize social marijuana, felt it was imperative to decriminalize the non-violent act of urinating or pooping on the pavement. After all, studies show that occasionally cannabis smoking has a laxative effect on the body.
Runny innards aside, statewide, it’s still against the law to borrow a vacuum cleaner from a neighbor or to mutilate a rock in a state park. Therefore, the passage of Denver’s public elimination ordinance means that if a hiker happens upon a boulder in one of Denver’s state parks he or she is prohibited from etching a heart with an arrow into the stone.
However, if a lactose intolerant hiker eats too much queso fresco at lunch, and can’t make it to the park restroom in time, the non-violent crime of using a rock as a toilet will no longer get that person a one-way ticket back to a country where E-Coli is spread on more than cilantro.
Likewise, if a homeless illegal migrant should happen to squat on the sidewalk in front of a Denver residence, borrowing a wet/dry shop-vac from a neighbor to clean up the walkway could result in the person using the suction device having to pay $1,000 fine, or having to spend the night in jail.
Unlike criminal vacuum-borrowers and lawless rock-desecrators, henceforth, in Denver, vagrant illegals, who came to America from countries Donald Trump less-than-tactfully described as sewers, will be able to freely spread diversity like organic fertilizer in a multicultural garden
This nonsense illustrates exactly how Marxicrats think. It doesn't really matter what the issue is - snowflakes will - literally - seek the lowest common denominator in their attempts to defend a position.
First they engaged in massive virtue-signalling by creating so-called Sanctuary Cities - a policy which immediately put American citizens at risk of increased criminal activity. (Not to be outdone, California's Marxists actually created a "sanctuary state," thus nullifying federal laws they do not like - exactly like the Southern States that succeeded from the Union and started the bloodiest war in American history.)
Strangely enough, when "sanctuary" was created, it was accompanied by a massive increase in public urination and defecation. Rather than acknowledge their role in creating the situation which led to this in the first place, lefties are now "solving" the problem by legalizing public pooping.
Tell me again - why do you elect Democrats?
"But that’s not a civil war. It’s just what happens when Democrats run a city into the ground. And then they dig a hole in the ground so they can bury it even deeper."--Daniel Greenfield
 , Certified Curmudgeon"The meaning of peace is the absence of opposition to socialism." - Karl Marx |